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My WS spouse and I are working hard on recovery. My 22 year old daughter has a situation that she recently confided to me in. I am struggling with whether this is something I should share with my husband. She does not want me to tell him and I understand that but it is weighing on me not telling him. I do think he would be upset me keeping this information from him. I don't know what to do.
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Joined: Dec 2010
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My WS spouse and I are working hard on recovery. My 22 year old daughter has a situation that she recently confided to me in. I am struggling with whether this is something I should share with my husband. She does not want me to tell him and I understand that but it is weighing on me not telling him. I do think he would be upset me keeping this information from him. I don't know what to do. Yes, absolutely, share this information with your H. Your daughter had no business asking you to keep a secret from your H.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Joined: Jan 2010
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Dr. Harley's position is this: Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know; your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. So, if you had a conversation with someone, then yes, you should reveal it and its contents. The one exception would be if your husband is engaged in abusing you or addictive behavior (including an affair). If you fear some kind of abusive response from your husband to the information, you should enlist professional help to make things safe while you reveal the information to him.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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My WS spouse and I are working hard on recovery. My 22 year old daughter has a situation that she recently confided to me in. I am struggling with whether this is something I should share with my husband. She does not want me to tell him and I understand that but it is weighing on me not telling him. I do think he would be upset me keeping this information from him. I don't know what to do. bewildered. I can see from your post that you already know the answer to this question but maybe are afraid that your daughter will no longer confide in you if you tell. Can you and your daughter sit down and tell him together? Anything can be overcome with honesty. It's the secrets that hurt and cause the most damage.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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My WS spouse and I are working hard on recovery. My 22 year old daughter has a situation that she recently confided to me in. I am struggling with whether this is something I should share with my husband. She does not want me to tell him and I understand that but it is weighing on me not telling him. I do think he would be upset me keeping this information from him. I don't know what to do. bewildered, do not keep secrets from your husband. Let your daughter know that you will not keep secrets from her father. My only concern would be if your husband is violent and might harm your daughter over this. Do you think your husband might harm his daughter upon hearing this information?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Maritalbliss...I am not concerned he will harm her. I requested that she tell him because I know he would take it better direct from her but she refuses. He has always felt that I never gave him any say so in how our kids were raised. That he has no relationship with them and essentially blames me for that. We had a very child centered (my part) marriage. I has been the source of many arguments. I am trying to place him first but it has been hard and it has been an adjustment for my daughter who is still at home. Thanks for the advice..I know I need to tell him and will do so this weekend.
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Glad to hear you are making the right decision! Given the way your husband feels about being left out of raising the children, I think it's all the more important you do this to put him first.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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