I offer to stay up until he comes home but he wants to go out instead.
Thats a pretty big red flag to me. Married men don't or shouldn't be going out all the time without their wives .. married men should be building a family and spending wuality time with their wives. Why wouldn't a man .. who JUSt got married NOT want to spend time with his wife? Doesn't sit right with me. Your hubby going out without you is whats called an independent behaviour. Its a Love Buster. Does he not value your feelings? Seems your hubby has a need for recreation.. who is he having this need met with? IT SHOULD BE YOU!
Working seperate shifts will be a marriage killer .. YOu need to figure out a way to put your shifts in the same time frame otherwise you will grow apart very quickly.
How long have you two been together? Do you have any kids? Did you live together before you married?
But he did ask me to stop by his work place on my way home from work. (He works in a theater as a performer so I'm allowed to bug him but he can't come to my workplace..
If that is a recent change ... working in theater .. I would be weary of who he is going out with. Does he spend any amount of time with any other women when he "goes out"?
I think he's in the withdrawal stage because he doesn't even want to try and work things out and says he's tired of arguing about the same thing which I'm tired of it also. I'm still in the conflict stage (as always) pretty much begging him to stay and work things out which then makes me feel like I'm forcing him to stay. Everytime we get in an arguement, his solution is divorce and I come out feeling like I'm always the problem.
THis is another red flag to me, especially the part i put in bold... I have a funny suspicion hes having an affair already and has a point of comparison. It may only be an emotional affair .. or a lady friend he complains to about you. If you Lovebust your hubby (and he you) .. it withdraws love units .. eventually if you keep doing that .. you will literally hate eachother. So .. I would begin PLAN A ... and quietly snoop while he feels comfortable that your meeting his emotional needs and find a way to put your jobs on the same time schedual.
Have you filled out an emotional needs questionair? There is a link at the top of the page. Also the love busters one is good too. However .. I would rule out an affair before you tell your hubby of this site.
I know women like conversation but there's a lot of times where we have nothing to talk about; is that a bad sign?
I would find out what his emotional needs are ... print out the questionairs x2 and exchange them after you fill them out. However .. DO NOT love bust if you dont like the answers. I am betting your hubby has a high need for admiration. There is also a recreational inventory where you two can fill it out and find out what you both like ... your activites should be that which you BOTH enjoy enthusiasticly. If either one of you is not enthusiastic about the particular recreation .. its a no go ... NEXT.
Keep reading .. and asking questions .. and answeeing peoples questions as honestly and openly as you can so we can provide the help and support you need to get the ball rolling.
MNG