Call them both.

She shouldnt have anything anywhere resembling a screen shot of a conversation with this guy.

Let her know how severe an infraction this is.

Even if it was "long ago", she has no business making contact. This is sneaky bull---- she perpetrated on you in the past. Id lose my mind which at this point is not very hard to do considering how little left of it I have.

By the way, good to hear from you. You are one of the few Ive wondered 'what ever happened to?'.

You were having several marriage killing issues to deal with, update us on some of them like is the SF improved? However, contact with OM implies not too great.

Your situation stinks and its now been a very long time with that stench.

Life is too short to be chasing around a person who has no interest in you.

Mike,
It's been an up and down. Right now it's very down.

She has seen several Dr.'s about her depression and weight gain. None seem to help.... SF has not changed. She still does not like to talk about it. When we do, it is a one man show, single act.

After 16 months, I still feel she is withholding information. The screen shot of a conversation, which occurred through a WWF game, tells me I'm right.

I'll start looking up OM and OMW....

Tex,

Was this by phone or computer? Is there a time stamp on the capture? I am sorry for this, bro.

CV

ok on a game forum. Sounds like she's gone underground with the A to me. I would re-expose at this point. She needs to come clean as to the extent of how long and how much contact has been maintained since NC was supposed to have occurred. What was the content of the talk?

CV

TTS, I would also start preparing for Plan B. This has been going on way too long with no resolution. Have you checked with a lawyer to see what your rights are?

Has her affair been exposed to your kids and the rest of your family?

CV,
No time stamp. She says it was before DDay and claims no contact has occurred. It is normal for WW to keep reminders, or to think of OM often? I've heard from some WW that they still day dream. The content was about music and if any song reminded him of her.

ML,
Exposure happened. Things were getting better, then this discovery. It was on her phone, in her pictures. Should I confirm with OM and OMW? If it was just a keep sake, would contact do more harm?

I would contact the OMW and tell her about it. Is your wife still on the computer? Have the conditions changed that led to the affair?

Do you have spyware on her phone?

And it sounds like your wife is not on board with any plan whatsoever so you are just limping along. How long before you go into Plan B? You do realize that Plan B is warranted if she doesn't get on board?

If you are not in recovery after 16 months, I would definitely say that Plan B is warranted. If nothing has changed in 2 years, then this is hopeless. Dr Harley says to give it 2 years and if nothing has changed in that time, you should just get divorced.

My suggestion would be to go to Plan B and if nothing changes within a few months, to file for divorce. There is nothing here to save.

She uses her phone and did during the affair. I watch every number that is a text or phone call.

What spyware is recommended for iPhone and game apps..?

I can not get her fully on board. I want her to join this board. She seems to believe time will work... But admits, I will never trust her and believes I hate her. She says SF for me is all about me. She has no desire for me to touch her. Said it creeps her out.

First off, there are lots of options for spyware over on the Operation Investigate froum. And secondly, she had an affair on a games forum and she still has game apps?? FOR REAL?? Why is that?



If a wayward spouse will not adhere to EPs and fully commit to a plan of recovery, then Plan B is warranted. There is no reason for you to stay in such an abusive marriage. Plan A is only supposed to last 6 months to 2 years and then Plan B is warranted. I would say you are ripe for Plan B.

Have you spoken to a lawyer to find out your rights?

Is there a reason she still has the phone?

TTS, have you presented the MB program to your wife? Have you stopped traveling? I am somewhat alarmed that this was her second affair, which was discovered in July of 2011, and you still are not in recovery.

You do realize that affairs are in your future if you don't take steps to recover OR get out of this abusive, pathetic marriage?

My gosh, you have been here for months and are not in even in Step 1 of recovery?

She has created a user name and will be posting soon. She says the screen shot was old and is the last thing left. The game is deleted and OM has changed his number ( my intel not hers ).

My hope is she will connect with a FWW who can help her out of the fog that lingers.

I'm with Mel on this

Time to end this fantasy relationship crap, and get on board with working on the marriage.

You know what to do, and your doing it

Glad to see she will post here soon, hope she knows it will not be easy, but what in life is? She will have to grow up and put on her big girl pants.

If she wants to be a big girl.

You will stay off her thread and not rush to her rescue right Tex?

I will not read her thread and told her she should not read mine. I told her I was ready to end this. She says she thought we were getting better. Her Bi-polar condition makes it difficult to know day by day.

ML's advice seems hard, but I agree with it. I am concerned that she has had this on her phone for months now. I seem to remember you checking her phone at first, so am not sure how this would have slipped through if it were not more recent.

I have a suspicion she is playing you Tex. She has managed to at the very least keep contact through a picture and has broken the NC agreement.

CV

tex,

We haven't often been on lately, but I will talk to my w and see if she will post to yours. Let us know her screen name. Even if my W decides not to, there are tons of qualified folks here.

CV

Oh she playing you, of that there is no doubt.

"My H just doesn't understand boo-hoo, the doctor says I'm bi-polar, and I just can't help myself, !"

Yeah do some reaserch on bi-polar, many times it is misdiagnosed, and is not what they say it is.

It is a real condition I agree, but many times it is the thoughts we allow, instead of what is "out of our control"

She may have it, and it's up to you guys to decide what you will allow to determine your behavior, but what's in your thought life is in your control.

Sneaking around and living in fantasyland is not bi-polar, it is hiding from what you know is wrong, and if you know it's wrong, you gotta kick those thoughts to the curb.

I will go out on a limb and believe you guys can recover from this, and it's not uncontrollable mental illness that is the culprit

It's gutsy commitment to your marrige she needs

Or maybe plan B, or a D, not games