He might be busy researching some more KISS pins.

SusieQ,

I didn't think about the text when I sent it. I put it out their like a I'm a dumb [censored] look what the hell I did!!! Thinking everyone with her would laugh about it when she told them as it was pouring and I was soaked. I realize now it was a "I'm a dumb [censored]" thing to do!!

I never went to work and discussed my marital issues. I just told her that I would like to keep our text messages and conversations professional and work related. Also me talking to her about was discussed with rocketqueen and she was happy and couldn't believe I said anything to her. Rocketqueen seemed very happy that I did address it with her.

KISS

HDW,

I can't stop talking to woman it's my job. I have stopped talking to them personally and I just keep the conversations about work give direction. Outside of work I don't talk to any woman as I avoid it and I don't put myself in that situation.

KISS

Ok KiSs, that's not really gOod enough, because as past history has shown affairs can develop 'inside work' so how can you do better?

Perhaps by not sending friendly texts to women? At all?

"I didn't think about the text when I sent it. I put it out their like a I'm a dumb [censored] look what the hell I did!!!"

Kiss, THIS IS THE PROBLEM. You have miles and miles to go, my friend. How can it be said differently...these funny, random comments that enter your brain that make you want to text someone? THAT SOMEONE IS ROCKETQUEEN. End of story. That is your person. RQ. Period. It's not hard to understand. It's also not hard to do. What you are doing is ASKING other people to fill an EN. Period. And, by doing that, you so clearly violating this EP. You want someone to get a laugh? Ask RQ. You want to be a fun guy? Be a fun guy with RQ. For God sake it is not that hard. Your need for other's attention will go right out the window if you would just create the habit - yes, habit - of turning to your wife first and every time.

The minute you sent that text you took a hit off the crack pipe. Not the response that you got (that was the second hit), but the minute you hit SEND.

"I have stopped talking to them personally and I just keep the conversations about work give direction. Outside of work I don't talk to any woman as I avoid it and I don't put myself in that situation."

Nope, not the case. This is a flat out LIE. Why? Because you lie to yourself by ommission, and thus to RQ. I know you, Kiss, and do so many others here. That mindless-I-didn't-even-think-about-it text immediately filled and EN, and you know it. That's why you sent it.

This is coming from a BH, stop making excuses for your transgressions. I wish my wife would be on this site so we can recover you have that chance for recovery and your about to blow it. If its your job to talk to this woman then find a new one transfer do something but if your marriage and kids are important you will do whatever it takes even if its hard. The people on this forum helped me immensely. They are trying to help you and your wife and your making excuses for your wayward behavior. I believe you want to change but your too lazy to do it.

ITA with DSC.

You had an affair because of your work. Do you know what is required?

A new job.

Work involving talking to women = affair

- WITTW

= one less trigger for your poor wife! Less likelihood for you to have another affair!

Please begin looking for a new job if you haven't already!

Agreed, but Kiss doesn't have boundries, period. No job is going to prevent working with women, and even if he found that job, it's still not the core issue. He allows ENs to be met by others that are not RQ. Job or no job. Unless and until he gets that, the cashier at Starbucks is a threat to RQ.

This isn't a matter of a WW/WH changing jobs to go NC with a OW/OM anymore. Kiss can't change life. Karmarose: we agree but for Kiss constantly changing jobs in that one or another include women? Really, life includes women. He just has terrible self-control and less care for RQ in that he will not stop really simple things that violate EPs. I net it out as that. Kiss is LAZY. He has SO much help right here, and he posts randomly, ignores questions, and claims ignorance on so many levels.

Many of you have been so patient, but many have also checked out. Kiss, do RQ a favor and go.

and go.....finish your kiss pin collection.....I'm just saying.....

This is where I have a problem with him. It seems he is completely incapable of asking himself this simple little question before making any decision....

Is this something RQ would agree to or be comfortable with?

It's not that difficult for most people, but for him it seems to be an impossible mountain to climb.

He just seems too ME oriented, when it should be US. I don't think he has a damned clue what US entails. He is the poster child for independent behavior.

And he doesn't even realize it.

Not to mention that it seems he's posting only to appease RQ's requirement for an effort at recovery, and not truly seeking help in repairing him or his marriage. I could easily be wrong, but that's the way it appears to me.

Agreed, except I think he is completely clued in. We all know Kiss...he keeps asking for help...yet, he knows very well what to do. It's easy. We know it's easy. RQ knows it's easy. And, Kiss knows it's easy. He just chooses to not do it.

But, he provides his own cheese with the whine. That's why he's gone for days on end. He could have turned this around month's ago.

Like SQ, I'm out.

Exactly. We crossed over. Agree with Viper 100%. Poor RQ. My efforts will be there versus here in type, mind and spirit.

When he said he worked with women, for some reason I just assumed something in the nature of his job exposed him to more than the normal amount of women in the usual workplace. Brain fart, I apologize. That was unreasonable of me.

:)Karma.

can someone link this show, please?

True, Logan's Run. Sheesh.

You have not made any real changes in the 7 months you have been posting.

You occasionally throw RQ crumbs here and there.

You come and post, but you are all talk and no REAL action.

This has become really quite pathetic on your part.

You need to either man-up and make radical changes and maybe, just maybe have a chance at saving your marriage. Or two, walk away and let RQ have the opportunity to heal.

As I see it, you will sit like a bump on a log, passing time, thinking she will lower her her bar and accept you as you are.

I bet you will ignore this as you have ignored any and all advice that has been handed you way thus far.

Sorry late to the party. Here you go Letty.
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