Misery loves company, so I am right there with you buddy. Next tear I'm gonna say this ones for gr1979. I'll say a prayer for you as well. What has your Church done in response to her being out-of-control? Are there any other separations going on in your Church or sphere of influence?

I would make every interaction as pleasant as possible. And please take the time to out if there is an affair. That will make all the difference in the approach you take.

My church has about 2500 people. I am going to look into seeing if there is a divorce/separation group. I could really use some new friends. I might see if they will try and create a small group if there isn't one already.

I have a couple friends helping me figure the affair part out. We haven't turned anything up so far.

I invited her to lunch and she said she will check her calendar and see when she can. Hopefully She will come up with something. If not, I'm not going to pressure her.

Do you have some spy resources in place? Are you watching her place and can you get a keylogget on her computer?

Perfect!

I have someone watching her place. I know her well enough that if she is having an affair that's where I will be able to catch her. She is living in a gated community and doesn't realize that I have a code to get in. I would put money on it that she feels pretty safe due to the fact that it's gated. That's where I'm starting as I can't afford a PI.

I have my wifes old phone. Is there a way to pull old text messages from it, or are they removed when the plan is cancelled?

Is it an iphone? Go look over on Operation Investigate and see if you can see any tips on that. Even if you don't, you might make up a thread asking that question.

It's a blackberry. I'll go check!

gr,

Text messages are stored on your phone until you delete them. So if she didn't remove them you should be able to pull them up. You do not need a cell network connection to view messages already retrieved by your device.

We did something similar recently when we upgraded our teenage son's phone. Of course we needed his password to get in.

Man do kids these days use texting for the lamest conversations.
Sup?
Nutin. Sup?
Nutin
l8r
l8r

She is coming over after work to drop off the girls halloween costumes and going to stay for pizza. Any good advice?

Also, I haven't uncovered an affair yet, but I still believe there is one.

Be your best. Be the best husband ever.

What did you find on her phone?

What spyware do you have? Have you gathered intel?

I didn't find anything on her phone. I have someone keeping an eye on her condo. That's about all I have resources to do right now.

She stayed last night for about an hour which suprised me. I figured she would be here for 20 to 30 minutes and leave. She has texted me this morning a few times and even asked how a couple family members of mine are doing. I'm not reading into this stuff to much. Just taking it one day at a time.

I still haven't found an affair. She has told me yet again that we are done for good and that she won't ever give us another chance. I just don't know what to do.

So what have you done to improve yourself?

What have you done to change the things she complained about you?

She said that I was always critical of her and nothing she did was good enough for me. I have been simply focusing on being positive when on the phone to her and being supportive of her. I pray for her and us every day and have been leaving this in God's hands for the right timing and the right things to happen. I have simply stopped the negative things and at first it was hard, but now I realize how wrong it was to try to make her who I wanted her to be. I didn't even realize I was doing it and in the end I realize I married her for who she was and wouldn't have wanted her to change anyway.

I spent the first 4 months trying to save the marriage to much and now I'm just focusing on trying to create a positive atmosphere that she would enjoy being around again.

Not sure what else I could do. We get along fine when we talk, but she wants nothing to do with being around me in person. I'm not pushing that anymore as it always created an argument in the past few months.

She keeps telling me that she won't go back and give this another try ever and that she wouldn't put our girls through the false hope. She is using the girls as an excuse for it being over for good. She says that a disfunctional marriage is worse for the girls to grow up in and if they don't see love then they won't know what a real marriage would be like for them. She said she felt like she just existed for so long when we were together and that she was just so unhappy. She blames me 100% for all of this.