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AXMFRP Offline OP
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My wife told me today that she had sex with a co-worker who had been sexually harassing her. I don't know what to think. She also says that he forcibly raped her prior to this. I don't understand what happened. I'm so hurt and furious and I don't even know what happened? He took her into his truck and they ended up having sex. After he had raped her earlier. I don't understand what is happening there. She has been a victim of rape before. She said that talking to him and flirting with him was a cycle of sexual abuse. But until today I didn't know that she actually had sex with him. I'm so hurt and I'm furious and I don't even know what to do. She says she is moving out because she can't deal with the consequences. According to her she has ruined the marriage. I don't want that to be true. I don't want any of this to be true. I don't want to lose her. I don't even understand what happened. I don't know why she would have sex with a man who raped her. I keep telling myself that it wasn't consensual. She says it was consensual but also not consensual. I don't know if I'm just fooling myself because I don't want to think about her willingly giving herself to another man. My mind is going a million miles a minute and it keeps coming up with new awful scenarios and I wish it would just stop. I don't even know if I have a question. I just need to get the words out. I don't know why she would do this. She says she hated it and it hurt. I want our marriage to survive this. But I don't know how to get over something like this, and I don't even know where to start. Sorry for my rambling. I'm just in shock and I'm falling apart.

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Originally Posted By: AXMFRP
My wife told me today that she had sex with a co-worker who had been sexually harassing her. I don't know what to think. She also says that he forcibly raped her prior to this. I don't understand what happened. I'm so hurt and furious and I don't even know what happened? He took her into his truck and they ended up having sex. After he had raped her earlier. I don't understand what is happening there. She has been a victim of rape before. She said that talking to him and flirting with him was a cycle of sexual abuse. But until today I didn't know that she actually had sex with him. I'm so hurt and I'm furious and I don't even know what to do. She says she is moving out because she can't deal with the consequences. According to her she has ruined the marriage. I don't want that to be true. I don't want any of this to be true. I don't want to lose her. I don't even understand what happened. I don't know why she would have sex with a man who raped her. I keep telling myself that it wasn't consensual. She says it was consensual but also not consensual. I don't know if I'm just fooling myself because I don't want to think about her willingly giving herself to another man. My mind is going a million miles a minute and it keeps coming up with new awful scenarios and I wish it would just stop. I don't even know if I have a question. I just need to get the words out. I don't know why she would do this. She says she hated it and it hurt. I want our marriage to survive this. But I don't know how to get over something like this, and I don't even know where to start. Sorry for my rambling. I'm just in shock and I'm falling apart.

Welcome to MB and I'm sorry for your pain.

Who is this OM? Is he married?

If you want to try and save your marriage you need to expose this affair and especially a workplace exposure.

I don't know if she is telling the truth about being raped, but if she is press charges.

Also you both need to be tested for STDs.

Please read this and come back.
Exposure 101


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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She was raped and now she is having sex with this guy. I highly doubt that she was raped she is in an affair with this guy. If she was raped the police should have been called. Hopefully Melody will be along shortly to give you some sound advise that you should follower if you want your marriage to work.

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Originally Posted By: AXMFRP
My wife told me today that she had sex with a co-worker who had been sexually harassing her. I don't know what to think. She also says that he forcibly raped her prior to this. I don't understand what happened. I'm so hurt and furious and I don't even know what happened? He took her into his truck and they ended up having sex. After he had raped her earlier. I don't understand what is happening there. She has been a victim of rape before. She said that talking to him and flirting with him was a cycle of sexual abuse. But until today I didn't know that she actually had sex with him. I'm so hurt and I'm furious and I don't even know what to do. She says she is moving out because she can't deal with the consequences. According to her she has ruined the marriage. I don't want that to be true. I don't want any of this to be true. I don't want to lose her. I don't even understand what happened. I don't know why she would have sex with a man who raped her. I keep telling myself that it wasn't consensual. She says it was consensual but also not consensual. I don't know if I'm just fooling myself because I don't want to think about her willingly giving herself to another man. My mind is going a million miles a minute and it keeps coming up with new awful scenarios and I wish it would just stop. I don't even know if I have a question. I just need to get the words out. I don't know why she would do this. She says she hated it and it hurt. I want our marriage to survive this. But I don't know how to get over something like this, and I don't even know where to start. Sorry for my rambling. I'm just in shock and I'm falling apart.


Sorry you are here, but welcome to the best site to save your marriage. How long have you all been married? were the cops ever called? You might be able to save this marriage, but there's going to be some hard work involved.

CV


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


"A story of me"
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Originally Posted By: AXMFRP
My wife told me today that she had sex with a co-worker who had been sexually harassing her. I don't know what to think. She also says that he forcibly raped her prior to this.


Do what any caring husband would do in this instance...
tell her that you will not allow her to be in danger and that she must quit that job. Next tell her that you are going to report this to the police. Pick up the phone and start dialing.


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered


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