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#2678230 10/31/12 09:06 AM
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I have installed eblaster on my computer at home because I know in the past my husband has had secret emails and late night inappropriate discussions with people he has met on the internet. All was going well and there was nothing on the reports that I was receiving until last week.

We are both members on a weight loss site as we do have some extra weight to lose. Last week I see that he has logged onto that site and was visiting only profiles of women in our town that we live in, no one that we know however. I thought that was strange but I let it go thinking maybe he was looking for motivation. Then the following day he is messaging women that if they are looking for a work out partner in the afternoon he would love to get together. Meanwhile, me, his wife and someone who he should ask to be his workout partner is left unasked.

I know I am going to get blasted by people on here but I did something that I cannot believe I did. I created a fake name and profile and said I was located in the town we live in. Immediately he sends me a friend request. He was then sending me (the fake me) emails from that site all day on Friday being very flirty so I flirted right back.

The emails did not go through the weekend because we were out of town camping. On Monday, however, I get a message from him giving me his work email address so I am not emailing the home address. Meanwhile he has cleared any trace of email from his home email and his fitness page's email.

Things then took a turn for the worst and he was inviting me to do a hard work out with him and asked me for my picture. It was early in the morning so I told him I was still in bed even though I was at work. He said that I could take a picture of me in bed and send it to him and asked when we could get together to meet. I told him that I really did not know him that well since we only talked a couple days. All the while he was flirting hard and insinuating things. He then asked me yesterday for my phone number so he could call me on his way home.

Again, I am asking for advice and am prepared to be slaughtered for stooping to this level. Please help me out here. He even emailed me early this morning with an email address that I did not even know he had which means he just signed up for a secret one again.

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
Again, I am asking for advice and am prepared to be slaughtered for stooping to this level. Please help me out here. He even emailed me early this morning with an email address that I did not even know he had which means he just signed up for a secret one again.

I would sneak some spyware on his phone FIRST and then bust him.

Print up those emails and prepare to confront him with them. Just tell him "I have received these emails from someone." Don't tell him HOW you received them because if you do, he will just say "I knew it was you all along, blah, blah, blah." You don't need his admission anyway.

I would demand that he stop all opposite sex friendships and stay off the computer completely.

He is out looking for it and unless he makes a RADICAL 180 degree change then he is not safe to be around. This is much, much more than just a guy who met someone and had an affair. This is a man who is TROLLING FOR CHICKS. That makes him particularly dangerous.

He will have to make his life completely transparent, giving you all passwords to everything. You should have full access to his work computer and if you can't get that, then he needs to find another job.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I thought about getting something to put on his phone but just have not bought any spyware for it yet.

I am going to give you a run down of what I had in mind once he sent "me" the secret email address to email him at. As this other person I have his home email address. What I was going to do was send an email to his home email address, a forwarded email that includes some of the discussions being had and send it at a time when he is at work because he does not get reception at work and will not get it until the end of the day.

Then I am going to log on to his email because a few weeks ago I had actually ordered something for work with our shared amazon account and the receipt goes directly to his email. I need that receipt to turn in with my credit card statement for the month. so I was going to happen upon this email from this other girl. Then I am going to email the other girl to confront her and have her send me all correspondence which I will then print out and confront him with.

It is a weak plan, but that was what I had so far.

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I don't think that there's a need to go into that kind of explanation as it will, likely, devolve into a debate on why you should or shouldn't be "allowed" to view his email account. He'll do whatever he can to distract from the issue at hand so there's no need to give him ammunition.

Just tell him that you know and it doesn't freaking matter "how" you know. But, I second the suggestion for putting spyware on his cell phone before confronting with the email.


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Our personal email accounts are saved on the desktop so it is no big deal for us to go in each others email if we want to. when i told him that the receipt would be emailed to him he said you know the password so print it out whenever. I am not trying to make an excuse because up until now when I created someone else to talk to him I have never done anything remotely behind his back. all my emails and accounts are open for him to look at whenever

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
Our personal email accounts are saved on the desktop so it is no big deal for us to go in each others email if we want to. when i told him that the receipt would be emailed to him he said you know the password so print it out whenever.

Oh, ok. The plan sounds reasonable then.

Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
I am not trying to make an excuse because up until now when I created someone else to talk to him I have never done anything remotely behind his back. all my emails and accounts are open for him to look at whenever

I hope you didn't misunderstand me--I take no exception to your "means" here. If you can prevent something from happening then you should take action here. By acting before he gets too far down that road you'll, hopefully, get things back on track.



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I know what you are saying Northwood. I am talking to him now and he is setting up a meeting at my house for next wednesday

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
I know what you are saying Northwood. I am talking to him now and he is setting up a meeting at my house for next wednesday
I would get all spyware in place GPS/VAR spyware on his phone. VAR in his car. If he is doing this with you then he is doing this to others.

Can you get a VAR in his car? And spyware one his phone?

BTW, good job being Mrs. James Bond.


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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...and you want to do this before you confront him because, once you confront him, he's going to be more careful and not give you such liberal access to email, cell phones, etc.


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I don't know if I can get a VAR in the car or even put spyware on the phone. He has his phone on him at all times.

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
He has his phone on him at all times.

I did it with my wife's phone at two in the morning. He's got to sleep sometime! smile


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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
I don't know if I can get a VAR in the car or even put spyware on the phone. He has his phone on him at all times.
What about when he sleeps?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I am the one that sleeps the most, but I will work on that part of the problem asap.

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
I know what you are saying Northwood. I am talking to him now and he is setting up a meeting at my house for next wednesday

He is inviting other women into your house? Where will you be?

Install some nanny cams.

And good job on your snooping techniques and finding out the truth about your life. I'm not sure why you think we would blast you for that.


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
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DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Originally Posted by JasonEllisFan
I am the one that sleeps the most, but I will work on that part of the problem asap.
My WH used to take his phone into the bathroom with him and sleep with it. I had to wait until he was asleep and then I woke up and got his phone.

Just study up on the spyware so you know how much time it will take (they are really quick to install).

Put the VAR on when his vehicle when he is in the shower or you need to run errands or take the trash out. Buy the VAR on the way home from work today. VAR


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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He set up the meeting and I asked him where because I could not do it at my apartment because I have a roommate. So he said his house because no one is there during the day until 2:30 pm. He set a meeting up for Wednesday at 10 am. I will be at work an hour away where I always am during the day.

Obviously I am going to have to give him an excuse as to why I can't meet on Wednesday because Ava, the girl he is talking to, is me.

I thought I would get blasted because I am playing dirty and I don't want people to misinterpret what I am doing as baiting him into something. He started this.

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Install surveillance in your house. I doubt this is a one off thing.



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DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Ava needs to email him this evening while y'all are having supper with "Surprise, I'm on my way over now, see you in five minutes!"

Ava should keep the 10 am meeting. You should have an unexpected stomach bug overtake you, requiring you to come home, unannounced, on Wednesday at around 9:50 am.



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Originally Posted by pokerface
Install surveillance in your house. I doubt this is a one off thing.

Good idea.


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that may tip him off Northwood. I agree with Pokerface. This cant be the only one.


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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