First and last I hope. I couldn't live through another!! Wish you well. Frank<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

This is our first seperation. This is our first big problem in our 10 yrs together. Did I see it coming? Sure. Did I do something about it? I thought I had, but it obviously wasn't enough. <P>After reading the other responses, I can say I find solace in the fact that my husband is not with the OW. This I know for fact, as he has escaped to his mothers house (six houses down the street from our home.)

Before we were married, my H moved out once and came back in a few hours. Almost immediately, he started treating me much more nicely, but it took years before I stopped worrying about him impulsively leaving. Guess I never should have stopped worrying. We got married about a year and a half later, and that was more than 20 years ago. He has never since then mentioned that he thought their were any problems in our relationship. One several occasions when he seemed upset, I asked if he was upset with me, and he always denied it. This is, as far as I know, the first affair, and it followed a number of crises, including the murder of my nephew.

I moved back in Sep, but this was our first separation and the only affair. Total shock, I didn't have any idea what was going on. The informal separation was to give W a chance to sort things out. She made no progress in four months and I got tired of the apartment, so I moved back in. We are now more than two-thirds of the way to D-day.

Married 25 years, dated 4 years before that. 1st seperation. We had just built a dream house. Kids were leaving the nest. Affair hit me like a ton of bricks. We tried to work on it a year, but H refused therapy, meds. He is depressed. We separated 8/99. H has accepted new job out of town and that has seemed to lift him up a bit. We see each other every weekend and once during the week. Don't know if we will be a success story or not. I'm moving forward with my life and I'm afraid I might be falling out of love with him . <P>

First seperation for me and H. During 21 yrs together we had what I considered "normal" day to day problems. Nothing major in my eyes. Guess I had blinders on. I thought we had a good life, and so did everyone who knew us. Boy, this hit me like a bolt of lightening

Thanks to Please help, Raenbow, Nellie1, Heartpain, Janie and ATW,<P>I'm really not sure what I was thinking when this question popped into my mind. Just trying to get some sleep that night. Can you guess it didn't work. Random ideas zipping around my head. I guess I was hoping for a revelation from group thought. It can happen. We just haven't found it yet. I will keep searching for us. We deserve it.<P>I also had an idea for an uplifting thread that I will share with you all later. The damn time change and seasonal affect disorder MUST be combated. <P>Still looks like my previous remarks hold a little bit of water. This is a terrible place to have to visit let alone live. I am very thankful for its existence though. I'd probably be in the same room as one of the psych patients I have transported.<P>Your guys better get ready to do some heavy duty thinking a little later.<P>Thanks again to every one who does give a [censored] about others. We are all members of the same club. Maybe not by design but definately in spirit. <P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic <P>

Hey Medic: Before you close the door. Married 16 years, she's had an affair for the past 18 months. I've been back and forth 4 times! She loves me, she loves me not. I just picked the last petal off the daisy and it came up she loves me not. Can't fight it any longer. It is finally very clear to me now..it took a while to sink in..it is over and so I need to move on.

Hey Desperado,<P>Didn't want to leave you out. Would never close the door on my friends. You might want to grab another daisy. One question for you. Do YOU really want to move on? Never say never. It's not over when you just can't take it anymore. It's time for Plan B. HEY, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? <P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic