In process... I want to do this right... how many people do I expose to. Already contacted our families and close friends, the OWH and the FB friends of hers I could figure out. (She blocked me from seeing her profile) We did have quite a few mutual friends... do I tell all of them? And if so, do I use more of the friends & family letter or the one to the OW friends? Then, do I just go home and wait for this to all surface?

You tell everyone, and I do mean everyone.

Not sure about which letter to use. Friends and family one may work, but I think it'd be up to you.

Once you expose you just let things unfold.
Your spouse will be livid and threaten you like a possessed devil, but be brave and do not appear rattled as they spew venom and it WILL blow over. Stay your course.

Also, some people you expose to will be nasty to you but you do not let that deter you from exposing. Even nasty comments to you mean you hit a target that should have been hit.

Practice saying this comment "I am sorry you feel that way." (to your spouse and others who may say rude stuff to you).

x1000

Good job jeans, tell us when you pull the trigger.

In motion. Just got a text from the OW... asking "what do you think WH will say if I tell him?"... tell him what exactly?! Just going to ingore that one. I've been at a friend's doing all this. Do I just go home now?

Are you done exposing?

And if she means telling him about exposure, he's going to find out anyway.

So who all did you expose to?

If you go home put on your best Plan A. Carrot and Stick of Plan A

Ignore the WH. She will threaten you to shut you up. You are hitting her nerve. Good.
Go home and do not get into fights with your spouse nor even try to say why you exposed.
Let the venom spew from him and ride the tide as calmly appearing as you can muster.

If he threatens to leave or does leave....stay calm.

Well, WH just text and asked what's up with the FB messages... I think I am done exposing. Now, what? Know it's expected for him to be upset. Go home or just stay at my friend's?

Have you gotten to everyone on your list? If so, go ahead and go on home. It is your home after all.

Did you read the carrot and stick of Plan A?

Also tell him you want everyone to know about your affair, don't you? Just helping you spread the good news. I will do whatever it takes to fight for my marriage. Would you like a cookie?

I exposed to family, close friends and OW FB friends. We have amazing family & friends who are so supportive of both of us.

I am home now... he is not. He's either driving around by himself or at OW house. Do I go see if he's at her house?

When he gets home I would tell him he can either end all contact for life with the OW or this will lead to divorce. If he refuses, ask him to move out.

Well, the exposure must of been a success... when I got home last night, he was gone. And didn't come home. Text him this morning to see if he wanted to go to church with me and didn't hear back. Unplugged the garage door and changed the code on the front door. When I got home from church, he had been here (he must have a key) and taken his stuff. He sent me a text letting me know where my computer was and said he was very mad when he put it there. I have not responded nor plan on it. I'm 99% sure he is staying with OW.

The angrier he is...the more you hit the target bull's eye.
I love that you texted to see if he wanted to attend church with you.

Remember this as the affairees rile and react.....you are the wife. You did not have the affair. You simply revealed it to many. That is all. Do not apoligize for telling people about the affair. You husband will probably ask you to retract your statements to people or tell you he could never continue the marriage with you due to the horrible thing you did.....but.....lol.....he is the one who did the horrible thing.

Time will tell if your marriage survives but exposing the affair didn't hurt your already defiled marriage. It might save it though.

x1000

This means the exposure has begun its magic work. Your marriage can survive his anger, but not his affair. Just remember that.

There's part of you that hopes that they skip the anger stage and realize their actions right away. I know that is a stretch and that I've done everything right. I honestly didn't know what to expect yesterday when I started telling friends and family. ALL are praying for us and being so much more supportive of me, him and us than I ever, ever expected. One girlfriend even said that she agreed with me doing exactly what I was. I know from reading posts on this site that I was, just helped to reaffirm it coming from her. I think in his anger, he doesn't realize that by exposing it, it opened up so a can of overwhelming support for the both of us. I am the wife. The one who has been there for him for so many years, through good and bad. Our relationship was built on love. I know that with God's help, He can save our marriage. That is if we both want it to be saved.

Do I figure out how to change the lock on the front door so he can't get in again? Do I change account passwords and access to financial accounts? Just trying to figure out what to do next.