Jean, do you have children together?

No kids.

Update from last night. WH found out about being locked out/accts being froze, so came to the gym while I was working out and got my keys. He wasn't back when I got done, so realized they were gone and thought he probably took them. He gave them back, said he could of left me without keys/car but was being the better person...and had 3 things to tell me. 1. Can't belive I locked him out 2. Froze the accounts 3. Told everyone. I replyed that I didn't intend to freeze all of the accounts, just mine. He asked if I was just going to run with the money... I said you know me better than that and I just had to protect myself because I don't know where your head is. I also told him that everyone is supporting us. He did mention that he was going back to his hotel. When he went back to the house, he also took my phone out of the car and left it at home. Pretty sure he read some of the texts on it because some were deleted. When he left the house, he took the battery out of the keypad for the front door, so I didn't think I was going to be able to get back in. But, in order to lock the door, he had to do it from the inside, so left out the back door of the garage... and left it open for me and didn't lock it. He sent me a BTW text, letting me know that he wasn't staying with OW, that it's illegal to lock him out but not that I care and that I have an awesome way of wanting him to be all mine. I did not respond. At first this all kind of bothered me, but it is what it is and is part of this process. He's got a lot he's got to figure out yet.

Appt with attorney in a couple hours. Do I include details about finances in the Plan B letter? Do I set-up an intermediary for communication? Some of what I've read said to do it via email/text others with intermediary. Do I set a time frame where I don't want communication or just leave it open ended?

Jeans14, you are going through a similar situation I went too just a week ago.
I think the trick is to always think ahead of time and your WH.
The support on this site is incredible, just follow the advice and you cannot go wrong.
I actually moved countries and run with two small children from him ( after seeing an attorney, transfering all my money to my account ) and he moved in with OW.
He signed up paperwork to let me leave the country with my girls at 10 am, two hours later I booked next available flight that I could afford. He was soooo unprepared to exposure, me leaving the country and the speed of all of that...
Things change sometimes so fast, you need to be prepared for unexpected most of the time.
All the best to you, you'll find strenght and courage on the way, patience was and is the most difficult bit.

For the Plan B letter, do I include details about finances and making arragements to get stuff out of the house? (He has a home office, so has a lot of office and equipment around) Do I set-up an intermediary for communication? Some of what I've read said to do it via email/text others with intermediary. Do I set a time frame where I don't want communication or just leave it open ended?

Yes definitely set up an IM. Box up his crap and set it out and tell him to pick it up by X date or you are going to donate it/what-have-you.

You have to have an IM or you will run the risk of having to talk to him or being tempted to. Do not talk to him AT ALL when you have gone into Plan B.

Here you go.

How to Plan B Correctly
Thread to Help Newly Betrayed Spouses

I'm so lost and do not know what to do now.

After work last night, I went shopping with some girlfriends. Got home around 9 pm and his car was there. He was in the house watching TV. He must taken one of the keys when he took them from me at the gym the other day. Not sure on this yet.

He asked how my day was and what I was up to. Said it was getting expensive staying in a hotel. I didn't say much. I was so lost and didn't know what to do and was worried going to make this a bigger mess because it was way too soon for us to be in this situation. He said he wanted to talk. I wanted to make sure I was "in charge" of this talk, so I went and printed my Plan B letter. I was going to email it to him because I didn't know where he was, so had it ready. Was just ironing out the IM part.

I gave it to him. He teared up. Said he wanted to put his thoughts on paper to respond. Now, I don't remember the exact order of everything, but I probably should of just got up and went to bed. (He's staying in the basement). He told me how one of his gal friend's from college sent him a FB message and how it really impacted him (continued to cry). She is one that I reached out to Saturday. Come to find out, she's in process of a divorce because of a WH. I just listened to him talk. I told him I was serious about the letter and we either needed a plan for recovery or more time apart. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the letter done today or not with his work/traveling and he wanted time to make sure he gathered all of his thoughts. Now, I don't remember the order of the rest of the order of our conversation... he's still angry and hurt about the exposure (I know that's expected. That's why I didn't want him to be home.. it's WAY too soon for this) he said he doesn't know what to believe because of my actions, I told him again I didn't know where his head was and that I was protecting myself. Then he said I don't know him very well I thought he'd take everything. So he doesn't get why I am protecting myself. I told him I am fighting for our marriage and if I didn't want this, I wouldn't be here. I noticed he didn't have his ring on and I said something like "well,there's my answer" - he asked if I had mine on and I showed it to him and he was surprised. He asked if I had it on the whole time since Saturday and I said yes. I asked him what his schedule was like Thursday (he travels 2 hours away almost daily for work) and he's going to be in that city both today and tomorrow, so said it would be best if he stays there. He didn't want to and is going to come home tonight. We got on the subject of our house... He said I can't lock him out, I said (shouldn't of) actually I can... he said something about getting the police to let him in if it happens again and that he was so angry when he came home Monday night that he almost broke one of the windows to get in and that he could break any window in the house because it's our house.

Before all this, I talked to OW mom again yesterday and she said to pray for someone that could come talk to WH about everything. Someone he respects and trusts. I didn't know who that was going to be until I was on my way to meet some girlfriends and I was asking God for help. It came to me and makes total sense who it is. It's WH uncle. Someone he's gone to for a lot of advice in the past. His uncle is traveling now, so will be reaching out to him today.

I was planning on leaving this weekend to be with my sister and mom. Wondering if I ask the inlaws to come up and spend the weekend with him or have them ask him to come back home for the weekend.

I just don't know what to do next. Do not want to turn this into a legal battle at this point.

That's why I asked about your attorney.
You didn't answer.
Is he filing exclusive use of the residence?

Please listen to me.
You need to call your attorney and ask how to get him out of the house.
I thought you already asked your attorney this.

Only take legal advice from your attorney.

Alternatively since you dont have kids and if it becomes too much you may want to consider moving out.
I suspect your husband probably called an attorney and knows about his right to access the marital home.

I spoke to an attorney yesterday. I thought I had WH locked out and attorney said that was legal to do. Attorney said we could start divorce papers or wait to see how the next couple days go. I decided to wait. We need time away to get clear heads and let the anger subside.

What exactly did the attorney say?
That it is legal to change the locks?
Or legal to block his access to the home?

You need clarification on this. Can you call the attorney this morning?

Legal to change the locks. Not sure about blocking access.

**edit**

Jeans, you are absolutely right that it is legal t change your locks. I would focus first on getting him out. Change your locks again. Tell your attorney to make sure you are legally protected.

Once you get him out, THEN you give him the Plan B letter. If he is still there, then obviously you cannot go into Plan B. if you can't get him out, then you should move out.

Since he was gone since Saturday, I thought we were into Plan B. I had the Plan B letter done, so gave that to him last night. I didn't know what to do. I paced in my room and just kept telling myself it was too soon, too soon. I thought that would be the ultimatum letter. I should of just not walked in the door and gone to a friend's place.

Well don't worry about it.
This is a new day.
Can you call your attorney and ask how soon he can get your husband out of the house? Can you call him today?

FIRST, she can change the locks. That should get him out quick.

Jean, change your locks and make sure he doesn't get the key. If he tries to get in again, then contact your attorney and tell him he needs to make sure he can't get back in.

Once you get him moved out, you will be in a position to go into plan B. But you can't go I to plan B until you get him out.

Sorry for all the questions now. Feel like I got Plan A done and then wasn't ready for this and don't want to keep going backwards. I gave him my Plan B letter last night... does that matter at this point?