His advice was to become separated, as my WW had shown no indication of wanting to rebuild the marriage, particpate in MB, read any of the books, or stop engaging in lovebusters.

I have not, but I need to. My WW has not read much of any of the books. She only really watched some of the videos when I was around.

Alright, let's discuss the lying thing.

I asked her about the false dates on the resume.

WW was "self-employed" as a foster parent from 2009 - 9/2011.

Our business was formed on 10/2011. WW worked for it from its founding until 5/2011.

Her resume listed the business as her place of employment from 2009 - "present".

She told me she explained in her job interview that she just lumped all self employment under the business name.

The Craigslist example: she was trying to sell her old subwoofer which predates our marriage on Craigslist. Some guy wanted to trade it for a camera. Her response was "as I'm already a professional photographer I don't need a camera". I don't consider getting paid $100 to shoot one wedding, and $20 here and there at some music venues to be "professional photographer". Not quite lying, but misleading.

Another example: she said she was having lunch with a certain name, we'll call this name "Gretchen". OM's mother's name happens to be "Gretchen Jenkins". After she had lunch with this person, I asked her for some details. When it was clear WW wasn't going to reveal anything on her own, I went "This is Gretchen Jenkins, isn't it?" Not quite lying, but misleading.

A much bigger problem is that she's unable to tell the truth about her own emotions, and always wants to report that everything's fine. So she'll say she had to work 15 minutes late instead of saying that she sat in the car crying for 15 minutes. Due to EPs, it's easy to know what actually happened, but a compulsive liar doesn't respond well to being under constant surveillance, and if you reveal facts found due to EPs they'll just find ways to be even more evasive and secretive.

Is it possible to overcome personality disorder-grade lying? Yes, it is.

I was a compulsive liar for years. I didn't lie about things I needed to--I just lied for no reason at all. I lied about major life events to one of my best friends; lied about small things to my family to make my life seem more interesting; lied to my spouse once before we were married that I'd deposited her paycheque when I actually kept putting it off.

I stopped because I chose to. There was definitely a spiritual angle for me; I prayed and told the Lord that I didn't want to do this anymore, but was not succeeding despite my best intentions.

For me, a life free of lies starts with living life the right way in the first place. I take care of myself spiritually. I avoid doing things in the first place that I'd want to cover up/hide. When I tell stories, I actively avoid embellishing anything.

But the spectre's always there at the door, knocking. If I meet new people, the temptation is there to change details about the past to make myself seem more interesting. If I mess something up, the idea's always in my head of inventing a believable excuse.

Liars change when they hate the lies, and hate it hurts them and other people, enough to stop lying.

Until then, expect the lies to continue.

P.S. you can't trust anything a liar says about stopping lying. It's just something you have to observe: trust, but verify.

Thanks, everyone, for the great advice I got here. Everything was final and done with at midnight on New Years. I've smoothly slid into a Plan D.

Joint taxes need to be filed but I have a professional to help handle that.

Glad it's over and to be moving on. Life feels so much more interesting and hopeful now.

Q, glad to hear you are in a better place than you were before. Happy New year

I'm sorry for the roller coaster.
Why don't you start a thread in DIVORCED thread?
We can communicate more.

Good luck