So much better Jedi! The only thing I would maybe consider is using "ACTIVE CHRISTIAN MALE" vs. healthy, but then later in your profile mention that you like leading a healthy lifestyle and hope to find a partner who does the same. (Maybe you can add it after the sentence "The weekends will usually find us ..."

But you certainly don't really need to change it if you don't want to, I think this profile is much more engaging.

And good luck with the Halloween 1/2!

okay I'll post it today!

Both. I was waiting, then got a little impatient and suggested it. There were 2 guys. Neither of them went forward with it, so I dropped it. One of them has now said hed like to meet me, so I'll have to wait and see what happens.

Guess ill just have to learn to be a little more patient.

I know they say that men like it when women make the first move, but I kind of think that's not true.

I know I prefer to be the one pursued, not the pursuer - maybe I'm just more traditional/old-fashioned with gender roles.

Also it's so much easier to sit back and let them come to you instead of making the first move and then ... silence!

It's not because you make the first move as a woman, you have to be the pursuer from that moment on. ;-)

So far, I have been contacte by two married "separated" women on POF.
I told each "I don't date married/separated women" and ignored them.
So far no luck on getting a date on POF.

I used eharmony free communicate day last Friday and a woman communicated with me back and forth but I lost her email when the free weekend ended

I have had no luck on either site. I am a paid member as well.

Try to be open minded, and don't give up. She's out there somewhere. I've recently started dating someone I met on POF. It's been 2 weeks and I'm really enjoying getting to know him. Initially when I received his message I wasn't sure if I should respond because he wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'm very glad I was open-minded about it because he proves me wrong every time I speak to or see him.

Just for the heck of it, here is what my profile says. I got a LOT of responses and I could tell that people actually did read my profile based on the messages I received (completely negating my theory that men don't read profiles). Point is that people respond well to light, playful, funny profiles.

Headline:

*****edit*****

Data mining is the answer. You are going to have to be pro-active. Start by thinking of key words that would be found in the profile of someone you could be interested in (running, cooking, church) and search for profiles with all of those together.

Read the results carefully especially between the lines :-) Keep your responses light hearted and amusing. You want this to be fun.

That's a good profile justme.
I will post some of my exchanges for feedback

Wow JustMe, I've never seen a profile like that on a datingsite!!!

I would definitly send you a message...

Ha ha, thanks!

This is amazing JM! So descriptive and funny.

I really wish I had put in something about 'no marrieds or separated people'. It would have cut down the tonnes of waywayds who did contact me, in spite of me trying to block them on settings.

It also gives a message out about your values. One of the reasons I wanted to go on a date with my now-boyfriend was because he had done what you did - his profile said 'no married people please'.

We met on Lavalife in 2007.

Well I have not had a single date from Plenty of Fish.
I obviously suck at getting a date.
But I watched The Fountainhead recently and was struck by something Howard Roark said: he waited years for Dominique to come to him.
He said he knew she would come because she would be attracted to him because of his values.
John Galt said that he knew Dagny Taggart would folow him into the subway for the same reasons.

Should I perhaps write off online dating and wait for the women to flock to me due to natural attraction?

Hi Jedi,

If you are compatible, meet a woman's emotional needs and take a step back from her, she will come to you! I think that is what the quote is reffering too... A man that is needy or to eager to please is a big turn-off to women.

Believe me:
There are NO women who will flock to you out of thin air, because of the values you have. You will have to date women to get your values across first, in person!

If this internet dating thing is getting to you because of rejection, take a step back.

Jedi,

I'm sorry to hear that online dating hasn't been a success for you. I wonder if part of that is because on some deeper level, you are not ready. It seems like the way the world works, is that when the time is right it'll happen, some how some way, and when it does happen it's easy and natural and it all falls into place.

When I was on POF, I would frequently "hide" my profile and take a break for a week or so at a time because it was getting so frustrating. I was trying too hard. I was being too picky and I had this image in my head of what I thought I was looking for. It wasn't until I took a step back and changed my attitude that I met the wonderful man I'm dating now.

So take a break. Concentrate on doing things that make you happy. Don't look at every woman as a potential date, but learn to talk to them, be friendly. Women will pick up on it. If you feel inclined to go back on POF, do it but don't put so much pressure on yourself to find your wife there. Maybe she's waiting for you somewhere else.

Jedi, I would remove the full custody part. That detail may scare a woman away for two reasons...1) You will have very little time for her and 2) Your ex must but a nutcase (it is rare for a mother to lose custody) so no thank you to that drama. I am not saying you shouldn't disclose the full custody part later but I would not advertise it from the get go.

I will remove that detail. Thank you

Jedi,

You and i are essentially in the same position (mid thirties, three kids, majority custody, etc). I am having a ton of success on OKCupid. First, I suggest you try there in addition to POF. I like your profile so I don't think that is the issue. If you don't mind getting into details, what does your first email to a woman generally look like? How many new women are you trying to contact per day? There's a method to this online dating thing and i think if you tune what you're currently doing you'll have a ton of success.

Travis