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Yes there is, but I don't think she would be willing. Like I said, right now she hates me.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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It's almost like she is enjoying seeing me like this.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Yes there is, but I don't think she would be willing. Like I said, right now she hates me. Understand. Maybe you could try offering the invitation. I'll sleep on it and see if I can think of any alternatives .... lack of sleep isn't helping. Is there anything she is interested in that doesn't require travel that you could do for her at home. Maybe something you can give her to enjoy in her own time. Then you coudl gradually progress to an outing/date when she is ready.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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The OP has moved out because of his abusive behavior, AO, and controlling behavior but I am concerned because he is also being asked to essentially date his wife before radical and PERMANENT changes within himself has occured. I am concerned for the wife since not enough time has elapsed for these changes to have occured for her to be safe in the relationship. Just my 2 cents.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I feel I have made radical changes in myself. I agree I have a lot of work to do. But Id like to start to mend what I've broken. Im just afraid its too late.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Radical permanent changes is the key. Time will show her that this is the case or not.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I feel I have made radical changes in myself. I agree I have a lot of work to do. But Id like to start to mend what I've broken. Im just afraid its too late. Well you can only change and control yourself. I would continue to work on your Anger Management and strengthen your relationship with your kids. Do you have any of your progress from your Anger mgmt/counseling sent to your BW? If she doesn't want it then respect that, but have you offered?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Here are some good clips. Radio clip Radio clip Radio clip on Anger in marriage Tell us what you think.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The radio clips are very insightful. Especially the second one. It sounds a lot like me. The more I listen the more scared I get that I've done too much damage.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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The radio clips are very insightful. Especially the second one. It sounds a lot like me. The more I listen the more scared I get that I've done too much damage. That's why you need to keep concentrating on changing yourself whether your BW takes you back or not. What did you think of the advice that Dr. H gave?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Yes he is. I can post more radio clips if you'd like. Just tell me what you would like to hear.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I need help with the depression of being away
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I need help with the depression of being away Are you taking any ADs? Are you exercising? Praying, meditating? What are you doing?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The radio clips are very insightful. Especially the second one. It sounds a lot like me. The more I listen the more scared I get that I've done too much damage. There have been amazing cases where people have recovered a happy marriage even after divorce. And at this point, am I correct that she has not filed? Be patient, keep working, make yourself transparent to her, make her aware of the fact that you are willing to change for her and working to change for her, make conversation with her, give her the freedom to withdraw, pull back, or test you when she chooses. How long has it been since your affair? How long has it been since your angry outbursts?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I need help with the depression of being away I encourage you to take up exercise. A lot of exercise. Extreme exercise will KILL depression. And make you look and feel better
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Not sure what AD's are. The only thing I've been doing is working on myself. Studying reading listening. No Markos she hasn't filed yet. And i'm not sure what you mean by transparent. I'm not supposed to initiate contact. Its been 7 months since my EA and a month since an AO
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Not sure what AD's are. The only thing I've been doing is working on myself. Studying reading listening. No Markos she hasn't filed yet. And i'm not sure what you mean by transparent. I'm not supposed to initiate contact. Its been 7 months since my EA and a month since an AO AD=Antidepressants
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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oh yeah, im definitely taking those. Gonna have to start exercising too
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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