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Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58 |
That's why you NEED to go to meetings. Touch�'! Tomorrow...
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Posts: 11,239
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In future relationships (if I have any. Because right now I enjoy being single) I will NOT date an alcoholic. And probably not an adult child of alcoholics either.
It's a terrible disease that ruins lifes 3 generations down.
Te problem is I look around and I think a third of the population may be alcoholics.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58 |
I too, believe both AlAnon & MB were a gift from God. I know time will help, but holy bat wings this hurts, almost as much as initial betrayal.
The first time I walked into the room, the slogan "This too shall pass" w in my direct line of sight, my amazing mom used to say that all the time, she had just passed 5 mos. previous to that. It is one of my favorites. There will be tough days, but you're going to make it. You will be a success. Either a MB personal successful recovery or a MB recovered marriage. We are here for you. Enjoy those birthday linens and  (early) Thank you again BH for your continued support. I soooo wanted to be in that stat of recovered successful MB marriage.
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58 |
In future relationships (if I have any. Because right now I enjoy being single) I will NOT date an alcoholic. And probably not an adult child of alcoholics either.
It's a terrible disease that ruins lifes 3 generations down.
Te problem is I look around and I think a third of the population may be alcoholics. Most definitely! And then you figure the ones left , at least half are wayward, lord slim pickens'
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
LOL. The world really is a messed up place.
Saint Paul encouraged people to remain single and that was very popular in the Early Church.
Years ago I think it was Time magazine that said you have better odds of being killed by a terrorist than getting married.
But that is pessimistic. When we are in bad situations we think everyone is messed up and that is part of unhealthy thinking
You will be fine. Just stick with the 12 steps and keep attending those meetings. And build yourself up before even considering dating.
I read a post recently that AA meetings are a "breeding ground for affairs" (written by dr Harley). I thought about the AlAnon meetings I have gone to and have never seen any suggestion of that. Have you seen this in AlAnon?
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
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LOL.
You will be fine. Just stick with the 12 steps and keep attending those meetings. And build yourself up before even considering dating.
I read a post recently that AA meetings are a "breeding ground for affairs" (written by dr Harley). I thought about the AlAnon meetings I have gone to and have never seen any suggestion of that. Have you seen this in AlAnon? And to clarify, will be a LONG time before I even consider dating. Where my mind will go is looking at the future & I still cannot see my life w/out him, especially when it comes to the kids. And No, not in my AlAnon meetings, but I've attended many, many AA meetings with H over the last 16 mos, and oh yea.... Lots of that going on in those rooms. I was always on the lookout for the single women in there & their reactions to my H, very wary...
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
LOL.
You will be fine. Just stick with the 12 steps and keep attending those meetings. And build yourself up before even considering dating.
I read a post recently that AA meetings are a "breeding ground for affairs" (written by dr Harley). I thought about the AlAnon meetings I have gone to and have never seen any suggestion of that. Have you seen this in AlAnon? And to clarify, will be a LONG time before I even consider dating. Where my mind will go is looking at the future & I still cannot see my life w/out him, especially when it comes to the kids. And No, not in my AlAnon meetings, but I've attended many, many AA meetings with H over the last 16 mos, and oh yea.... Lots of that going on in those rooms. I was always on the lookout for the single women in there & their reactions to my H, very wary... This the exact reason Dr. H recommends same sex AA meetings/sponsor/groups.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58 |
Unfortunately there are NO same sex meetings in our city. Checked months ago.
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Posts: 11,239 |
There aren't any in my area either
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Here's another good clip on addictions. Radio clip on Addictions
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58 |
Thanks BH, bring me on!!! Will listen & read all. I think I intuitively knew this in the last 16 months, that ep's would help both issues. I'm slowly wrapping my mind around the fact that the affair was just a symptom of the addiction. The root cause of the addiction.... Hmmm.... Not bright enuf to even conjecture on that.
I.e., like dr. H says, until the addiction is dealt with, nothing else can be fixed.
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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