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here is so much wonderful information on your website. It is very encouraging. From all that I have read, it appears that basically almost all marriages are salvageable. I personally need help on investigation to find out truth. Throughout the 6 years of my marriage, there has been many negative things that have affected the love bank which include: pornography, alcohol, drugs, smoking, cheating, incidents of domestic violence toward our children ages 3 and 1, threats of domestic violence toward me, verbal and emotional abuse, and what goes along with the territory: the lying and hiding.
What has been attempted over the years for marriage rebuilding has been turning to ecclesiastical leaders within our church, seeking professional marriage counseling, doing the 12 step program. Unfortunately, as is testified from your website, these things have to be followed through with exactness. My husband never took it fully to heart and that is why we are on the verge of divorce now.
My husband left me and the kids 3 weeks ago. He informed me two weeks ago that he had been sexually abused as a child: new information to me. In hearing that, my 3 year old's odd behavior now made sense. I spoke to my sister n law who works with child protective services. She said all of my observations are indicators of her being violated. My daughter this past week actually verbalized indicators that she was violated by her father. I have reported him to srs and my daughter will be evaluated at the sunflower house by a child forensic pyschologist.
I found some articles on abuse and how a victim and abuser can recover and heal. I shared it with my husband and he is meeting with a clergy and professional counselor this week.
Do you feel that my marriage is recoverable or too much damage and time to move I think you should divorce him and he should have no contact with these children if he sexually abused them.
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Joined: Nov 2012
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here is so much wonderful information on your website. It is very encouraging. From all that I have read, it appears that basically almost all marriages are salvageable. I personally need help on investigation to find out truth. Throughout the 6 years of my marriage, there has been many negative things that have affected the love bank which include: pornography, alcohol, drugs, smoking, cheating, incidents of domestic violence toward our children ages 3 and 1, threats of domestic violence toward me, verbal and emotional abuse, and what goes along with the territory: the lying and hiding.
What has been attempted over the years for marriage rebuilding has been turning to ecclesiastical leaders within our church, seeking professional marriage counseling, doing the 12 step program. Unfortunately, as is testified from your website, these things have to be followed through with exactness. My husband never took it fully to heart and that is why we are on the verge of divorce now.
My husband left me and the kids 3 weeks ago. He informed me two weeks ago that he had been sexually abused as a child: new information to me. In hearing that, my 3 year old's odd behavior now made sense. I spoke to my sister n law who works with child protective services. She said all of my observations are indicators of her being violated. My daughter this past week actually verbalized indicators that she was violated by her father. I have reported him to srs and my daughter will be evaluated at the sunflower house by a child forensic pyschologist.
I found some articles on abuse and how a victim and abuser can recover and heal. I shared it with my husband and he is meeting with a clergy and professional counselor this week.
Do you feel that my marriage is recoverable or too much damage and time to move
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Joined: Nov 2012
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Thank you for your input. That is what I have been feeling too, but needed some encouragement to take that final step to move on with my life.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Thank you for your input. That is what I have been feeling too, but needed some encouragement to take that final step to move on with my life. Please protect your children. Please proceed with the investigation and keep your children safe. They need to be protected and your WH needs help.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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This monster has committed domestic violence against your 1 and 3-year-olds and it has molested your 3-year-old. Seek to have it imprisoned and finalize the divorce as soon as possible.
Please seek counseling for yourself because there is a problem that you even considered saving the marriage. There is also a problem in that you didn't kick him out; he left. He only threatened domestic violence against you but it was only a matter of time before it happened. All three of you could eventually end up murdered. You need help working on your characteristic of allowing yourself and your children to be victims.
Please get help. Please get help now. Don't become a front page news story. It is not OK for him to hurt you or the children. You do not deserve abuse. You can't fix the monster by forgiving it every time it cries and apologizes.
You['ve done well by reporting him. Good on you for that!
Last edited by GoingUphill; 11/12/12 09:25 AM.
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Do you feel that my marriage is recoverable or too much damage and time to move liahona, Dr Harley would recommend that you separate and STAY separated from your husband. In fact, I would suggest you change the locks and file a restraining order against him. He should never be allowed around your children again. And since he can't be around your children, you can't very well be married to him. I would get divorced and never allow him in your home or around you again. Your main responsibility is the protection of your children and you must take that very seriously.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Get out. Get divorced. Move away, change your name, change your kids names. Become invisible to stay safe and to keep those kids safe.
Get some help for yourself. Your children need you to be their advocate. They will need help too--get them some counseling asap.
I salute you for coming forward. You are brave and strong. Do not even think about giving this person another chance. Let God and the prison system deal with this person.
me: FWW/BW
Married 20 years, 4 kids
We made it.
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Thank you for your input. That is what I have been feeling too, but needed some encouragement to take that final step to move on with my life. What input??  liahone, please start your own thread so we can help you.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Thank you for your input. That is what I have been feeling too, but needed some encouragement to take that final step to move on with my life. What input?? liahone, please start your own thread so we can help you. Hey MB: This thread is electronically messed up which is why you are confused. The thread was started by liahona. She married a monster, it physically abused the babies (1 and 3), it sexually molested the 3-year-old, then it left three weeks ago. liahona is seeking the help needed for the children but she needs help in letting go of the monster. Hopefully it will end up in prison where it belongs.
Last edited by GoingUphill; 11/13/12 10:03 AM.
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