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I did listen to that clip last night. Loved it. Now I just need to find my wifes kitten
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Ok, so yesterday I fealt pretty good. Now today I'm starting to feel anxious again. I'm not sure why either. Couldn't take sleep meds because of an early appt today. I'm going to take them tomorrow morning when I get off of work.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Ok, so yesterday I fealt pretty good. Now today I'm starting to feel anxious again. I'm not sure why either. Couldn't take sleep meds because of an early appt today. I'm going to take them tomorrow morning when I get off of work. It could be from the lack of sleep and the stress and the night shift. Are you in Plan A mode when see her today?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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OK so I didnt see her today. I hope I didnt make a huge mistake but she wanted to talk about "us". So she was letting me have it with both barrels. I stayed calm and didn't try to defend any of my actions. I told her about the man I was working on becoming and that I knew I still had a long way to go. She went through the list of ALL of my faults and I just agreed. She is right. I also tried to explain to her that the woman she is today is the woman I need her to be. One that isnt willing to please me by getting bullied into it. She never actually yelled. Just talked with anger. I also told her that I fealt deep in my heart that we could have a great marriage together. Not just good but great. She said she wasnt so sure.
Did I do the right thing?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Did you do the right thing?
This is the question: Did you commit love busters? You answered no.
Did you listen to her? You answered yes.
I think you did well.
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OK so I didnt see her today. I hope I didnt make a huge mistake but she wanted to talk about "us". So she was letting me have it with both barrels. I stayed calm and didn't try to defend any of my actions. I told her about the man I was working on becoming and that I knew I still had a long way to go. She went through the list of ALL of my faults and I just agreed. She is right. I also tried to explain to her that the woman she is today is the woman I need her to be. One that isnt willing to please me by getting bullied into it. She never actually yelled. Just talked with anger. I also told her that I fealt deep in my heart that we could have a great marriage together. Not just good but great. She said she wasnt so sure.
Did I do the right thing? I agree with Jedi. I think you did well. I know it hurts, but it seems like she's moving from Withdrawal to conflict. It's actually better to be in conflict then withdrawal. Have you read this? The Three States of Mind in a Marriage
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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yes I have and thats exactly what I thought. Not once did she say she was done. Which is a big step from a month ago. Maybe this opened the door for us to actually talk about "us" a little. It does hurt but she didn't say anything that wasn't true either. Maybe there is a little bit of hope after all.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Sorry I haven't been on all day, been a bad day. Laid in bed, couldn't sleep even with meds. Wife is mad because she says I'm stealing our daughter from her. Said she talks to me now instead of her. I've tried talking to my daughter but she said mom only cares about mom right now. I really am trying to do everything right. But it keeps coming out wrong.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Sorry I haven't been on all day, been a bad day. Laid in bed, couldn't sleep even with meds. Wife is mad because she says I'm stealing our daughter from her. Said she talks to me now instead of her. I've tried talking to my daughter but she said mom only cares about mom right now. I really am trying to do everything right. But it keeps coming out wrong. How are you doing anything wrong when your daughter is talking to you? That's fantastic. Your BW is struggling because she wants to stay in conflict. Just keep it up. Did your wife tell you this or your DD?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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My bw is the one who said I was trying to steel our daughter from her. I told her I wasn't doing anything intentional. Just trying to be a better dad.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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My bw is the one who said I was trying to steel our daughter from her. I told her I wasn't doing anything intentional. Just trying to be a better dad. Good. Just tell her I'm sorry you feel that way and that is not my intention. I am finally being the dad my kids deserve.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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How long can I expect her to stay in conflict?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Unfortunately your wife is selfish and rude.
Deal with her like a job. Like you are a customer service person at Walmart dealing with a selfish rude customer trying to return an item they bought 10 years ago. The customer degrades you, insults you and threatens you.
In response you smile and are polite.
But maintain boundaries. In this case, te customer is not always right.
Make a timeline in your head of how long you will tolerate the selfish customer before you tell her to unload her cart and get her [censored] out of the store. 6 months....2 years.....5 years...,
And just keep plan A.
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Going back tomorrow too. Sighting in my boys gun then the girls want to take me somewhere What make/ model?
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It's a traditions muzzle loader.
The thing is this is not who my wife is. She usually is looking out for everyone else and puts herself last. Now she's the opposite
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Yea.
Dr Harley talked about "the taker" in a recent show. I will see if I can find it and post a link to it here.
He said when the "taker" takes control then there is careless, selfish behavior.
Did she ever write a No Contact Letter?
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No. She's not onboard at all right now
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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How long can I expect her to stay in conflict? Dr. Harley would recommend a wife to stay separated, from a husband whom had AO, for up to a year. So it could take up to a year. Have you read this? What to Do With an Angry Husband
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 11,239
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In an affair you can't make love bank deposits.
The best you can do is avoid Love Busters.
What are you Doing to kill this affair as you plan A?
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