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What i was wondering as welll.

How are the pins selling on ebay Kiss?

Just compensation, kiss.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Why don't you get it, kiss?

Why are you getting so defensive about such a simple thing?


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Brainhurts,

I posted on one of my previous posts the one I talked to is her sister in law. she follows my thread. thats why I didn't want to air out her problems on my thread. That's how RQ knows about this topic on my thread.

KISS

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Originally Posted by kiss
Brainhurts,

I posted on one of my previous posts the one I talked to is her sister in law. she follows my thread. thats why I didn't want to air out her problems on my thread. That's how RQ knows about this topic on my thread.

KISS
So you know for a fact that SIL told RQ? How?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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kiss,

Will RQ's SIL come here to post so we may help her and then you can continue to work on your path?

The posters are giving you a huge caution flag or twoxfour (especially with your history) to not be speaking with ANY non-blood relative females as part of your boundaries.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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BrainHurts,

She has talked about possibly posting but she isn't sure. I would like to continue on my path. As I felt that it has been going pretty well but the path has wondered off for miles now and has become very frustrating. I asked to move on from this subject that has no valitity to it but it just keeps going. She is a family member. Does this mean I should never talk to my mother inlaw alone. Or my wifes Grandmother? How about my priest? She is female!!

KISS

KISS

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BrainHurts,

Sorry but seriously? I told you that I have discussed this stuff with my wifes sister inlaw. They talk 10x a day. My wifes sister inlaw is who we us to swap the kids when I get them.

KISS

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KarmaRose,

I have a very good understanding of the basic concepts. I understand why it was brought up. I get the most imput, from the most people on this?

I thought I was getting good info and really getting something out of it. Now its at a dead stand still. I have asked to not give up who it is but this has become the only thing on my thread not getting anything out of this but a huge waste of time. I just want to move on. DONE WITH THIS. NEXT!!


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Logans_Run,

Thanks for a question. I have been told that RQ doesn't want me to sell them. I do still plan on getting rid of them but I can't get to them due to the order of protection and I can't go to my residence.

KISS

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I did buy a new car today. I will be taking my car to Florida to give it to my sister. RQ was OK with that. She had no issues with it as long as she pays us every month for it. The difference between what I owe and what he would have gave me was more then a couple grand. I would have been close to getting out of the loan but RQ keyed both sides of my car and caused a couple thousand dollars in damage. I can not afford to pay that difference and get another car.

KISS

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I have spoken to Joyce Harley and I'm going to be on the radio show on Monday. I wrote a question about RQ's plan "B" and if its something that she should be implamenting right now. I thought it was more for when a spouse is in the middle of an affair. My affair has been over for over 8 months with no contact since. So I don't understand the benefit of a seperation for a plan "b" now. I understand its to block your love bank and stop withdraws but I feel that we need to be together to work on things.

KISS

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Do you not remember what you were doing wrong before RQ entered plan B?


Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
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Regarding plan B, you have no control over what your wife does.
You can only control your actions.
Irregardless of wether she eats oatmeal instead of wheaties, or washes her hair on Tuesday instead of Wednesday.,,,you don't have control over that because you are separated.

The radio show can't make her leave plan B.

I would focus on self improvement and really reach out to papa bear because he is a good peer and has been in your shoes.


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Originally Posted by kiss
I have a very good understanding of the basic concepts. I understand why it was brought up. I get the most imput, from the most people on this?

I thought I was getting good info and really getting something out of it. Now its at a dead stand still. I have asked to not give up who it is but this has become the only thing on my thread not getting anything out of this but a huge waste of time. I just want to move on. DONE WITH THIS. NEXT!!

Kiss,

It was your evasion of the questions that created the direction of your thread. Trickle truth leads to everyones Bull detectors going off.

As far as your sister-in-law.... No one is concerned about what her marital problems are on your own thread....(although we will help if she asks on her own) We are only concerned that you are discussing them with her. If you go through the threads and read them..... you'll find hundreds of threads where families are destroyed because of affairs between brothers/sisters in-laws. You'll find hundreds that involve priests/ministers with someone in their congregations.

YOU laid out an EP that said you would NOT discuss your marital problems with other women.... Right?
So why are you being defensive?

We are holding YOU accountable to your EP's! Isn't that why you're here?

You are just getting angry about it. You are being defensive/sarcastic about the accountability. You would likely treat RQ with the same contempt if she were not in Plan B. This is why it all matters.... It's your perspective that has not changed yet, which make you unsafe as a spouse.

Just an FYI,,, Plan B was a plan originally implemented when Dr. Harley operated his alcoholism treatment centers. It was how he protected the spouse from the abusive behaviors of the addict. He later found it useful for protection from adulterous spouses. He also uses it to protect a spouse whenever the other spouse is unwilling to eliminate lovebusters such as selfish demands, dishonesty, angry outbursts, etc... If you would read the threads and Dr. H's books, you'd know this already....

I'm sorry, but IMO you still don't see the threats to your marriage that your perspective creates.... and yet you're demanding we move on....








Last edited by HerPapaBear; 11/18/12 02:33 PM.




Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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hit submit twice??

Last edited by HerPapaBear; 11/18/12 02:30 PM.




Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Originally Posted by HerPapaBear
Originally Posted by kiss
I have a very good understanding of the basic concepts. I understand why it was brought up. I get the most imput, from the most people on this?

I thought I was getting good info and really getting something out of it. Now its at a dead stand still. I have asked to not give up who it is but this has become the only thing on my thread not getting anything out of this but a huge waste of time. I just want to move on. DONE WITH THIS. NEXT!!

Kiss,

It was your evasion of the questions that created the direction of your thread. Trickle truth leads to everyones Bull detectors going off.

As far as your sister-in-law.... No one is concerned about what her marital problems are on your own thread....(although we will help if she asks on her own) We are only concerned that you are discussing them with her. If you go through the threads and read them..... you'll find hundreds of threads where families are destroyed because of affairs between brothers/sisters in-laws. You'll find hundreds that involve priests/ministers with someone in their congregations.

YOU laid out an EP that said you would NOT discuss your marital problems with other women.... Right?
So why are you being defensive?

We are holding YOU accountable to your EP's! Isn't that why you're here?

You are just getting angry about it. You are being defensive/sarcastic about the accountability. You would likely treat RQ with the same contempt if she were not in Plan B. This is why it all matters.... It's your perspective that has not changed yet, which make you unsafe as a spouse.

Just an FYI,,, Plan B was a plan originally implemented when Dr. Harley operated his alcoholism treatment centers. It was how he protected the spouse from the abusive behaviors of the addict. He later found it useful for protection from adulterous spouses. He also uses it to protect a spouse whenever the other spouse is unwilling to eliminate lovebusters such as selfish demands, dishonesty, angry outbursts, etc... If you would read the threads and Dr. H's books, you'd know this already....

I'm sorry, but IMO you still don't see the threats to your marriage that your perspective creates.... and yet you're demanding we move on....

EXACTLY!! Thanks HPB. clap


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Kiss, stop it with the dramatics. That doesn't get what you need. You will only succeed in chasing people away that can honestly help you.

I would love to know the answer to this question Kiss, do you WANT to save your marriage, and create a romantically fulfilling marriage for both you and your wife? Do you believe that Marriage Builders will help you achieve that?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Quote
So I don't understand the benefit of a seperation for a plan "b" now. I understand its to block your love bank and stop withdraws but I feel that we need to be together to work on things.

KISS


Plan B DEMANDS a separation if that is what you're asking. The BS decides when to implement it, not the WS. And you continuously slip up and don't take your EPs seriously. It's as if you just FORGET them. Case in point -- the SIL.

Quote
He also uses it to protect a spouse whenever the other spouse is unwilling to eliminate lovebusters such as selfish demands, dishonesty, angry outbursts, etc... If you would read the threads and Dr. H's books, you'd know this already....


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Originally Posted by kiss
I have spoken to Joyce Harley and I'm going to be on the radio show on Monday. I wrote a question about RQ's plan "B" and if its something that she should be implamenting right now.

I can answer this for you. Yes, Rocketqueen should be in Plan B. Proof: you think Rocketqueen is the problem in your marriage , not you. You think the problem is that Rocketqueen is in Plan B, rather than that you neglected and abused her. As long as you think this, absolutely, yes, she should be in Plan B.

Quote
I thought it was more for when a spouse is in the middle of an affair.

Plan B is absolutely what Dr. Harley recommends for a wife whose husband does not engage with recovery. Like yourself.

You put her through how many months of grief and called it "recovery," and you want her to come back and take more of it? Where is the evidence that you would offer a better life for her now if she came out of Plan B? What would that life look like?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Originally Posted by kiss
I have spoken to Joyce Harley and I'm going to be on the radio show on Monday. I wrote a question about RQ's plan "B" and if its something that she should be implamenting right now. I thought it was more for when a spouse is in the middle of an affair. My affair has been over for over 8 months with no contact since. So I don't understand the benefit of a seperation for a plan "b" now. I understand its to block your love bank and stop withdraws but I feel that we need to be together to work on things.

KISS
Kiss, after months of learning MB... this is the best "plan" you can come up with to recover your marriage?

I suggest you get back to the hard yards of working on yourself, rather than pointing the finger of blame at RQ. In Plan B, she is no longer prepared to keep steering the horse to water. She already tried that. Its up to you now.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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