What i was wondering as welll.

How are the pins selling on ebay Kiss?

Just compensation, kiss.

Why don't you get it, kiss?

Why are you getting so defensive about such a simple thing?

Brainhurts,

I posted on one of my previous posts the one I talked to is her sister in law. she follows my thread. thats why I didn't want to air out her problems on my thread. That's how RQ knows about this topic on my thread.

KISS

So you know for a fact that SIL told RQ? How?

kiss,

Will RQ's SIL come here to post so we may help her and then you can continue to work on your path?

The posters are giving you a huge caution flag or (especially with your history) to not be speaking with ANY non-blood relative females as part of your boundaries.

BrainHurts,

She has talked about possibly posting but she isn't sure. I would like to continue on my path. As I felt that it has been going pretty well but the path has wondered off for miles now and has become very frustrating. I asked to move on from this subject that has no valitity to it but it just keeps going. She is a family member. Does this mean I should never talk to my mother inlaw alone. Or my wifes Grandmother? How about my priest? She is female!!

KISS

KISS

BrainHurts,

Sorry but seriously? I told you that I have discussed this stuff with my wifes sister inlaw. They talk 10x a day. My wifes sister inlaw is who we us to swap the kids when I get them.

KISS

KarmaRose,

I have a very good understanding of the basic concepts. I understand why it was brought up. I get the most imput, from the most people on this?

I thought I was getting good info and really getting something out of it. Now its at a dead stand still. I have asked to not give up who it is but this has become the only thing on my thread not getting anything out of this but a huge waste of time. I just want to move on. DONE WITH THIS. NEXT!!

Logans_Run,

Thanks for a question. I have been told that RQ doesn't want me to sell them. I do still plan on getting rid of them but I can't get to them due to the order of protection and I can't go to my residence.

KISS

I did buy a new car today. I will be taking my car to Florida to give it to my sister. RQ was OK with that. She had no issues with it as long as she pays us every month for it. The difference between what I owe and what he would have gave me was more then a couple grand. I would have been close to getting out of the loan but RQ keyed both sides of my car and caused a couple thousand dollars in damage. I can not afford to pay that difference and get another car.

KISS

I have spoken to Joyce Harley and I'm going to be on the radio show on Monday. I wrote a question about RQ's plan "B" and if its something that she should be implamenting right now. I thought it was more for when a spouse is in the middle of an affair. My affair has been over for over 8 months with no contact since. So I don't understand the benefit of a seperation for a plan "b" now. I understand its to block your love bank and stop withdraws but I feel that we need to be together to work on things.

KISS

Do you not remember what you were doing wrong before RQ entered plan B?

Regarding plan B, you have no control over what your wife does.
You can only control your actions.
Irregardless of wether she eats oatmeal instead of wheaties, or washes her hair on Tuesday instead of Wednesday.,,,you don't have control over that because you are separated.

The radio show can't make her leave plan B.

I would focus on self improvement and really reach out to papa bear because he is a good peer and has been in your shoes.

Kiss,

It was your evasion of the questions that created the direction of your thread. Trickle truth leads to everyones Bull detectors going off.

As far as your sister-in-law.... No one is concerned about what her marital problems are on your own thread....(although we will help if she asks on her own) We are only concerned that you are discussing them with her. If you go through the threads and read them..... you'll find hundreds of threads where families are destroyed because of affairs between brothers/sisters in-laws. You'll find hundreds that involve priests/ministers with someone in their congregations.

YOU laid out an EP that said you would NOT discuss your marital problems with other women.... Right?
So why are you being defensive?

We are holding YOU accountable to your EP's! Isn't that why you're here?

You are just getting angry about it. You are being defensive/sarcastic about the accountability. You would likely treat RQ with the same contempt if she were not in Plan B. This is why it all matters.... It's your perspective that has not changed yet, which make you unsafe as a spouse.

Just an FYI,,, Plan B was a plan originally implemented when Dr. Harley operated his alcoholism treatment centers. It was how he protected the spouse from the abusive behaviors of the addict. He later found it useful for protection from adulterous spouses. He also uses it to protect a spouse whenever the other spouse is unwilling to eliminate lovebusters such as selfish demands, dishonesty, angry outbursts, etc... If you would read the threads and Dr. H's books, you'd know this already....

I'm sorry, but IMO you still don't see the threats to your marriage that your perspective creates.... and yet you're demanding we move on....

hit submit twice??

EXACTLY!! Thanks HPB.

Kiss, stop it with the dramatics. That doesn't get what you need. You will only succeed in chasing people away that can honestly help you.

I would love to know the answer to this question Kiss, do you WANT to save your marriage, and create a romantically fulfilling marriage for both you and your wife? Do you believe that Marriage Builders will help you achieve that?

Plan B DEMANDS a separation if that is what you're asking. The BS decides when to implement it, not the WS. And you continuously slip up and don't take your EPs seriously. It's as if you just FORGET them. Case in point -- the SIL.

I can answer this for you. Yes, Rocketqueen should be in Plan B. Proof: you think Rocketqueen is the problem in your marriage , not you. You think the problem is that Rocketqueen is in Plan B, rather than that you neglected and abused her. As long as you think this, absolutely, yes, she should be in Plan B.


Plan B is absolutely what Dr. Harley recommends for a wife whose husband does not engage with recovery. Like yourself.

You put her through how many months of grief and called it "recovery," and you want her to come back and take more of it? Where is the evidence that you would offer a better life for her now if she came out of Plan B? What would that life look like?

Kiss, after months of learning MB... this is the best "plan" you can come up with to recover your marriage?

I suggest you get back to the hard yards of working on yourself, rather than pointing the finger of blame at RQ. In Plan B, she is no longer prepared to keep steering the horse to water. She already tried that. Its up to you now.