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oh and let me add, 'bad listener' and defensive to the list...
no you're not responsible for her bad choices but focusing on her and what she's done isn't going to get you anywhere.
look to yourself. you're not that easy to get along with, methinks...
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oh and let me add, 'bad listener' and defensive to the list...
no you're not responsible for her bad choices but focusing on her and what she's done isn't going to get you anywhere.
look to yourself. you're not that easy to get along with, methinks... It doesn't matter whether or not I'm easy to get along with, that is an argument known as 'red herring'. The fact of the matter is that there is no justification for certain behaviours.
Jesus Christ is come in the flesh.
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It does matter, wilderness, if you come to a forum that offers education and the chance for self improvement. It matters quite a bit.
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It does matter, wilderness, if you come to a forum that offers education and the chance for self improvement. It matters quite a bit. In context- it matters, but it doesn't matter when analyzing the blame/fault of specific actions (like affairs, lying, cheating, false accusations, not feeling sorry, etc).
Jesus Christ is come in the flesh.
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The point of the matter is that he is not consistent when it comes to this issue, not whether or not I accept it. I have no way of knowing what his true policy is on details. He is absolutely consistent with his principles. His "true" policy has been posted and quoted to you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It does matter, wilderness, if you come to a forum that offers education and the chance for self improvement. It matters quite a bit. In context- it matters, but it doesn't matter when analyzing the blame/fault of specific actions (like affairs, lying, cheating, false accusations, not feeling sorry, etc). It matters very much when analyzing the problems in the marriage and that is what we do here. I have been reading your posts and can see how argumentative and stubborn you can get. That explains a lot of the issues you have with your wife and in-laws.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you argue this much with your wife? With your in-laws?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you argue this much with your wife? With your in-laws? When I found out she was cheating on me? Yes, I argued this much. Neither my XW/fiance nor my XMIL would even admit that she was cheating on me...this just ONE DAY after planning remarriage and moving back in together.
Jesus Christ is come in the flesh.
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Do you argue this much with your wife? With your in-laws? When I found out she was cheating on me? Yes, I argued this much. Neither my XW/fiance nor my XMIL would even admit that she was cheating on me...this just ONE DAY after planning remarriage and moving back in together. Then how do you explain your argumentative behavior HERE? We have not cheated on you. This is a habit with you, isn't it?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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A habit that does not justify false accusation, cheating, and lieing.
Jesus Christ is come in the flesh.
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A habit that does not justify false accusation, cheating, and lieing. That goes without saying. So you admit that arguing is a habit with you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Except that is not what Dr. Harley said in his radio program. What. In. The. Hell. I am just catching up with this thread and I'm stumbling all over the place with a poster who is bound and determined to undermine, in one fell swoop, perfect common knowledge. And for reasons that I am clueless to ascertain. wilderness, THE BETRAYED SPOUSE DRIVES THE RECOVERY BUS when it comes to the details of the affair. They are uniquely qualified to determine how much, or how little, they wish to know. When all of the betrayed spouses questions are answered, it's time to move on. At that point Dr. Harley recommends no further talk about the affair. Simple. Perfectly logical. Aimed at complete recovery. What are you missing, here?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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"the details of what took place" Show me where in that quote, the term 'what took place' was equivocated by Dr. Harley. If you can't do this, it is clear that Dr. Harley is trying to have it both ways. HUH? Dr. Harley wants it both ways? He has some ulterior motive?? Some nefarious scheme?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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He likes to argue so he picks nits to entertain himself. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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