Just want to thanks for all the advice you guys gave me in my time of need.

I have been able to forgive and for the most part forget about my wife's affair. However, I have grow cold to her at first I didn't notice it since I forgave her and we even manage to have sex again. But I haven't been giving my wife the same attention I did before the affair.

I wouldn't have not noticed until today she told me. I no longer do the "little thing" that she enjoys. I uses to send her flowers once a week with a postcard, I would give her hugs and kisses before we both left, and she even told me " You don't look at me the same way."

In fact, before her affair we had sex close to 8 times a week. I do not know what's wrong with me. I should be happy that I have her back right?

We still go to counseling but I can not help it. Most of the time I can put the affair behind but it keeps coming back to get me. We are going to her parents house this thanksgiving.

Hey Mike,

I'll be the first to ask. Did you expose this affair to her mom,, dad, sister , and clergy?

You seem to be a pretty good husband and yet she cheated on you. And, sex 8x a week with you? What is her deal that she needed more?

You haven't gotten the full story from what I'm gathering here.

Get it. Expose. You are way early in this to be so happy .

Yes, we have expose everything to everyone we know and she told me everything.

The feeling I can not shake is that I do not look at her with the same compassion as I did. Sometimes I feel like saying " well, you cheated on me so give me a break."

We been working on our marriage for a while now and saw each other faults. She told me that I was "suffocating her" so I backed off and now she upset that I do not treat her the same way.

This feel like I am fighting a losing battle at times. I am still sure I love my wife but I am not perfect. I can not just magically read her thoughts and know when the best time to do the " little things" for her all the time.

I feel fed up with having to show my love to her since she cheated on me. I forgave her and took her back in after the pain she put me through. I sacrifice almost everything before the affair and now I just feel tried.

Before:
When she was depressed I took work off and stood by her side caring for her until she was better. I gave up going out with my friends to help her study for her nursing exams. I babysat so she could use the "Spa treatment" I got her for her birthday. ***EDIT***

I still love her but not as much as before and I do not want to tell her that because she would be hurt.

edit: Also she has put in a lot of time and effort to get me to trust her again. I can see she still love me and desperately wants me to love her the same way but how do I overcome this?

Excellent! So this exposures included your family and her family?

A reason to stay on your original thread is we can't scroll back to refresh our memories about your story.

I have don't remember how long ago the affair was, dday, etc.

So I will say that recovery is a 2 to 5 year process. This affair is in the front of your mind a lot now. It will take those years for you to leave the affair in the past.

Did you get any of the Harley books?

How happy are you with your counselor?

Here's his original thread.

MichaelJR2012's Original Thread

Pretty happy with my counselor but I have not gotten any of the books.

I didn't mean to put this topic here on purpose. I figure I was in the "recovery" phrase since I forgave my wife? I guess not.

Thank you ML jr.

You need not have started a new thread. You could have asked the mods to move your original thread here. It's been done before. You could even ask them now to merge your threads together here.

You're welcome

Michael to tag onto NG's post, you can hit notify and ask the MODs to merge your threads and let them know what forum you would like it to remain.