Okay, you who have known me here before know that I love to do the fantasy thing, about how we would get even with the OP. This is our fun post to do that. <P>I have already allowed Dr. Evil to enter my body and he wants the OW to get a good case of the black hairy tongue disease, to gain 100 lbs. overnite that she can't lose, to grow long unexplained nose hairs every nite. But most of all, for her H to come home and tell her that he is leaving for a coworker that is 10 years younger than her.<P>I am so mean today.<P>Peace (that was me, not Dr. Evil)<p>[This message has been edited by ubu (edited August 19, 1999).]

I have a revenge fantasy, on for him and one for her!<P>I go to her house and my H is there (his car's out front)<P>I disconnect her sparkplug wires (so her car won't start) and I move his car to a nearby (a couple of blocks away) resort parking lot.<P>Then I walk back to my car, call her house and ask for my H, when she denies it, I say oh that's good because his car isn't out front of your house anymore either. Then (from a safe distance) I watch the comotion out front then drive by and wave!<P>Because his car isn't ther and her's won't immedicately start.....I get away.....Of course in my revenge fantasy this is not a chance encounter....so my kids aren't home, and I go somewhere other then home.....let them stew about it!<P>Then in a few days, I contact my H and say it's over!<P>This fantasy makes me laugh because I know how important his car is to him! It makes me sad though, cause there is still a chance that it could come true, as I'm not convinced they broke it off!<P>Anyway it's good to vent a little where no harm will come from it!

This one is a tough one! Which revenge fantasy do I tell?<BR>Let's see....<BR>She is older than me, fatter than me, stupider than me...<BR>Hmm maybe revenge would be for her to get a good look at me and make an attempt at intelligent conversation?<BR>I'll have to put some thought into this ubu.

yes, was, this is important. Now we all know that we would kick the OW's a** in a brain contest, so go for the dirty, yucky stuff, like the dog doo under her door handle thing, that she would smell and get on her nose, then vomit, hopefully in front of my H so she would be unattractive. Or, you could mail her a real fish that would stink when she opened it. Yeah, like in an airtight box or something that would just smell when she opened it. Or, submit her name to all of those little boxes in lobbies that are ruses for timeshare people to get your name, and use an alteration to her name, like the one I like "Vivian Isahor"<BR>Come on girl, I know you can vent some Dr. Evil.

I guess if I don't like this thread I should just stay away from it. It just makes me so uncomfortable. Why not channel that energy of hate and revenge into something constructive? Work at making this OP smaller in your mind rather than larger. Sorry if I sound self-righteous, but these types of threads really bother me. I think they are destructive to recovery.

Honey, these are for fun. Not every one can find humor in a dark hour and yes you are right, this is probably not for you. Go to the ones that will help you now. And good luck. Maybe one day you will find some humor. I just live for the humor. Never intending to offend or hurt. This is Ubu, not Dr. Evil speaking. And you aren't self righteous. You just know what you need and don't need right now. But, if you ever need to play or laugh in the middle of hell, we are here.

TA...in part you are right. Though I remain committed to shrinking the OW into oblivion there are times when I need to say something ugly about her or voice my hurt in a very immature way. Those things heal me too. I just don't dwell on them.<P>ubu...My dream is that OW would lose her job. She works for the same corp. as H so that way I wouldn't have to worry about him being her boss someday or us all being transferred to HQ and them being in the same state. Yep, lose her job, get married and end up pregnant every year and live in a trailer park in East Texas somewhere. I'd be happy then!<P>------------------<BR>Joan

One other thing I want to say is that this OW has been trying to break up my marriage for 16 years. This is not a new thing to me and I do need to vent. This is Dr. Evil/

OK

ubu<BR>I'm still working on it. You are absolutely right about the 16 year thing though. I guess it's hard to understand that when you have spent YEARS dealing with your feelings about the OP it is a very big problem.<BR>In situations like that one has usually spent YEARS trying to minimize the OW. There is a point at which you have to recognize that you have a right to these feelings, imagine them to their fullest in order to get rid of them. We have a right to bitterness. I have certainly put in my time trying to minimize, forgive, forget.....<BR>If I get release out of a revenge fantasy, I deserve it.<BR>This bi**h has been trespassing in my marriage for 7 YEARS and I have never done a thing against her. I certainly don't owe her any consideration in my thoughts.<BR>If I enjoy the concept of her hair thinning and her bloating up from the steroids that she takes for her condition while she tramps around in bars and hotel rooms with married men so be it!!!<BR>I certainly get some freedom that i desrve through this. It's about time I didn't have to be the good guy!!!!<BR>Okay do you see Dr. Evil starting to take over me now!!!

Yes, girl, he is there and going strong. I guess I understand if you are just now being hit with the news for the first time, how different it would be, but, I probably would have been just as twisted then. So, I would like to find out that she had the hair loss problem or that she had continuous styes or something crusty. Of that she would get a nail fungus. They are no fun. But, the best for me would be globs of celulite.<P>Dr. Evil

I wish the OW would gain 100lbs and smell like rotten eggs. I hope she losses her hair and teeth. But, worse of all I hope she felt the way I feel right now

Here's another place to let Dr. Evil out:<P>www.jerks.com<P>Upload a picture of the jerk/OP for the world to see, it's anonymous too

I got my revenge a few weeks ago, and I didn't have anything to do with it. We were at a family function, and sister (adulteress) came in with new boyfriend. When my husband (adulterer) saw her, he leaned over to me and made the comment that sister has not been missing too many meals lately. She is huge. One of my other sisters commented to me later that when she first saw sister, she wondered if she was really our cousin who wears these long wide moo moos to hide her shape. When she realized that it was our sister, she assumed that they are both shopping at the same large ladie's shop. My other two sisters wondered if she was pregnant. It did feel so good, especially when her new beau told me how beautiful I was looking, and how he liked what I had done with my hair (lots of blonde highlights.) Sister was not happy, husband was even unhappier. During the dinner, her beau and I got into a joking mood, and carried on a conversation between the two of us for the entire meal. He has a great sense of humour, she has not. So, what they say is true. What goes around, comes around. You will get your revenge. Maybe not as dramatic as you would hope, but it still feels pretty good just the same.<P>------------------<BR><P><BR>

Bravo! I have not seen as many angry people this time around. I guess that is good. <P>Dr. Evil would like for the OW to be wearing a moo moo the next I see her. I hope that I never see her again. The last time that I saw her was in the airport and she looked good. but she has two children since then so I hope that even if she looks ok, that she has the stretch marks from hell.

ubu<BR>I have come to the conclusion that the thing I would enjoy most is to send her a thank you card saying:<P>Thank you for showing my H that the grass is DEFINITELY NOT greener on the other side of the fence!

How about this one?<BR>It is evil. Dr. Evil would be proud. I could never do it but I have played it out in my mind.......<BR>You call have someone call OW's voice mail saying that her test for aids and/or stds came positive and that she needs to go to the health dept. ASAP. Give her a secret code word. Tell her that only the health workers will know who it pertains to and what the info. she needs is. Give her a specific time to be there. Even give her a name of someone to ask for.<BR>This would be great with a paticularly persistant person. When the people at the health dept. say she must be mistaken, she would argue. She would have to decide whether to make a scene or not. It would be an embaraasing thing no matter what.<BR>All along, you would be sitting in the waiting room watching, listening and smiling.

Oh, my, let's see. So many choices, so little time. H's ow is almost 20 years younger than me, long tall and lanky, so the 100# and cellulite would be great - make it 150#. Also, she's still not too old for acne, so maybe a SEVERE case (he hates that). Slurred speech, droopy eyelids and premature graying, excessive growth of body hair, fungi and lice, ok that'll do for this 5 minutes.<P>Now for him. The 23 year old father of her baby will storm back into her life, proclaim his undying love, sweep her off her feet (loves her even w/ the 100# and the acne) and carry her off in his 23 year old arms!!! That oughta show him to play w/ kids his own age!!!<P>Lori

oh no, I started reading this and Dr. Evil jumped out of my monitor and got me, mmmuuusssttt bbbeee gggoooddd, uuuuugggggghhh<P>HAHA now I have Deb in my power, I can come out, and take control.<BR> My fantasy for ow, whuiich ow do I start with, hhhmmmmm, well since the wildebeast already got hers when her h feel in love with another woman, and the wildebeast became a prostitute on the streets, (for real guys, dshes not ashamed of it either) I have to let that one gpo. <P> As for last ow, oh heck shes already married to a creepy jerk who shared her with my h willingly as long as he got to play too. But I think she could gain about oh, I don't know 150 lbs, have a hormone imbalance from hades, never be able to escape her junkie creep h. oh and I know develope a case of genitle warts so bad they stick out 6 inches below her knees. <P>OOOKKK III aamm fffiiiggghhhtttiiinnnggg DDDRRR. Evil, agagh, I won becareful Dr, Evil is hard to fight off.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hmmmmm! All these fantasies are ver-r-r-ry interesting, but I still like the poison oak fantasy. There are lots of ways that this could be carried out. My favorite was the idea of rubbing some poison oak all over the sheets in H's bed at his hunting club in case he was boinking OW there. Then, I would sit back and watch 'em scratch. <P>Failing that, my next favorite fantasy would be rubbing poison oak on the crotch of all his underwear. If he boinked anybody else, she would get it, too. 'Course, the only problem with that idea is that I would have to become celibate so I wouldn't get poison oak on my you know where. <P>Another fantasy was that I would find out that H and OW were in a motel. I would let the air out of her tires, have a big pair of scissors in hand, and get into their room by pretending to be management. I'd charge in there, and before H could stop me, I'd cut up all her clothes and kick her nekkid butt out the door, which would preferably open out onto a balcony. I would then put the fear into my H by threatening to Lorena Bobbitt him. <P>Thankfully, though, I do think that my H ended the affair shortly after confrontation.<BR>I would never actually do any of this stuff, of course--at least I don't think I would, but it is fun to run the movie inside my head.