... and I can't wait for this to be done.

WW wants a divorce and I'm relieved to give it to her. 21 years/almost half a life... UGH! She wants nothing to do with me. WW is 46, AP (coworker) is 38 (and a lifelong bachelor), yeah they have a chance... Good luck, I will forgive and move on.

I found this quote today while surfing and is going to become my mantra

"Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you should be appreciated. Don't ever settle for mediocrity, for being just an option, for being the one who's just fun to be with, for being the one who's always there desperately waiting, for mere concern or pity or for someone who likes you just because (s)he knows (s)he's got the power to break you. It is better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn't want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears. You can be in love and you can be in a relationship. But they're not always the same thing."

So sorry Capt. Do you have a good lawyer? Will you be able to put that infidelity is the reason?

Do you still have children at home?

Let me guess. You still haven't followed this advice from months ago.
Please do it tonight

I hacked her ICQ account and caught her, she denies being physical; I can't prove anything physical. Of course just cuz I can't prove it.... I confronted the OM via FB and then was told to back off or expect to be hit with workplace harrassment. That's when she told me to find a separate bed and she wanted a divorce. She wouldn't come clean so I pushed the envelope, expecting that this would happen, but at least now I can move on...

Everyone at her work already knows... My sister's friend got her the job and she has contacted my sister.... The WW's work is a gossip mill, this is just a nice juicy one, they don't care...

We've begun to tell family, she of course says it has nothing to do with her new boy toy. In fact, one of her closest advisors is her unmarried 50 yo sister. Nice, get relationship advice from a family member that has never been married.

This is a perfect storm...

Why don't you expose and follow the MB plan?
Expos� today. So people don't know by rumor.
And FYI. Workplace harassment lawsuit for exposing affair? That is an empty threat.
I exposed my wife's affair and I'm glad I did.
I hope you have also exposed to your kids

When you expose to workplaces....you do it in a factual written letter to the human resource department.

When your wife is threatening that you need to find a separate bed and that she wants a divorce....she is reacting to her secret coming out in the open.

You are free to follow her emotional lead and do as she spews or you can

stay in your bed
and seek legal counsel without her knowing about how to protect yourself from whatever she does now.

BTW......all situations of infedelity ARE the 'perfect storm'.

What do you mean by "When your wife is threatening that you need to find a separate bed and that she wants a divorce....she is reacting to her secret coming out in the open."?

Do you mean by threatening me with divorce I should back off and let her keep her secret?

She's gonna get her divorce...

No he means that she's throwing a tantrum over the threat of exposure

You may still be able to win your wife back if you FOLLOW The Surviving an Affair plan

So did you expose to their workplace?

Who would I expose to at her work? It's a small company and there is no HR department.

BTW, WW is expecting
- to get a divorce
- for us not to sell the house
- for me to move out so she can stay her with my daughter
- for her to remain on my credit cards so she can "pay me back" when she shops

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA


This is hilarious (sarcasm). I'm taking divorce, she is going to crash and burn in a big way and I'm just gonna step back and let it happen.

My daughter wants nothing to do with her, I had to tell my son and his wife what was going on while they were returning from their Thanksgiving vacation. Talked to them at the airport and broke the news.... What a f'n mess...

You Expos� to the owner if it's a small business.
Expos� to all married friends and family.
Expos� to OM family and married friends.
Use the template letter.


http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2566583#Post2566583

So just an update to this thread...

Stood in front of the judge and finalized divorce this past Wed.

While sorting out the details I fast tracked everything. My FWW kept accusing me of hacking into her (and her OP's) ICQ accounts until I told my lawyer to tell her lawyer for her to stop contacting me. I filed for divorce, she filed for alimony (life sux), when the court date for alimony came up instead of signing alimony my lawyer and I provided the draft divorce settlement and went ahead with the divorce.

Funny thing, this past weekend I got a text from my FWW requesting she please be able to talk to me about something...

A number of ppl familiar with the situation think she wanted both the marriage and the OP and my FWW didn't think I'd have the testicular fortitude to walk, in fact those same people didn't think I'd have the testicular fortitude to walk. Once I did walk my FWW starting digging into to my wherebouts, asking the kids if I was going on dates (I was) who I was with and trying to dig into what I was up to and who I was with... The irony!

Anyway, here I am...

Yes waywards want their cake and eat it to. She wanted the family at home and her boyfriend on the side.

Sorry about your divorce.

How are you doing? Your self-care? Your kids?

Did you ever expose?

Yes I exposed to every place except her work, her work already knew. I knew people at her work and they already knew everything going on...

AS far as me, I'm doing well. My family took cre of me the end of last year when I was a shell, but the farther I got away from the situation and was able to look at the big picture the more relieved I got....

- Filed for divorce in Dec, order came through in Jan
- FWW moved out in Jan
- sold the house in Mar
- moved into and apt with my daughter in Mar
- finalized the divorce in May

literally life changing events in the blink of an eye...

FWW asked me for the divorce, I told her it was a mistake... Most of her family asked me if there was any chance of reconcilliation and I told them NO. I told them I didn't want the divorce and had done everything I possibly could to avoid the divorce but FWW wanted it to purse "other interests". They said they were sorry and said she was a fool and asked me to keep in touch...

But enough about your ex, Capt. How are YOU doing?

Oh I'm doing well. Mostly at peace, pouring myself into martials arts, did it when I was younger and am pouring myself into it again. Took a new position in work that will get me places and spending quality time with my kids... Took my daughter ti Ireland and planning a 10 hike with my son this summer

This is sounds really great, Cap'n! Good for you!

Soo, I had a text exchange with the ex yesterday. Its really funny (not in a humorous way). First text exchange in months! She asked if she could speak to me about something. She did apologize for the way things turned out but they complained about how I was not maintaining a relationship with my ex step daughter.

I've chosen not to maintain my relationship with my ex step-daughter and her kids, there are lots of reasons. My ex doesn't like this and is adamant that I should do maintain a relationship and still insists here reason for leaving was a decision only between her and I. It amazes me that she is so insistent that a decision that impacts so many people is only between her and I. Anyway, I chose not to engage, and responded with

"in the future when we must be together for the sake of our children let's be respectful. Goodbye and good luck".

This stings but internally I'm at peace. The stinging will fade, the finality helps with closure.

I'm just staying clear, my ex is in such denial I want to stay away so I don't get hit with any shrapnel when Karma hits...

Cap'n, you're doing just fine. She's trying to breach your boundaries, and she has no right to do so. Yes, your reason to end your marriage was between you and your ex. Loss of contact with her child and her child's children is fallout from that. She'll just have to accept that.

Try to avoid contact with her. You know you can do that, right? And this is why you should.