Hello,

I am recently divorced father.
I have 3 children.

Jedi- You could fill in a few details,

I am going to get Buyers,renters, freeloaders, as you suggested.

When was your divorce final?

July 2012

What the heck, Jedi? You've been posting here for months! This post sounds like you just wandered onto this website!

What the heck??? At least link your threads (and they are numerous).

???????

I was recommended to start a thread here.
So that is why I did.

I would suggest you link your story, so other posters know your story.

By the way: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

On yesterday's radio show Dr Harley cautioned against discussing recoveries from adultery.
He said it is dangerous to bring the past into the present.
Those that are invited speak to seminars, etc are discouraged from doing so.

Does this apply to the Forum?
Are we not bringing the past into the present every time we read a story in infidelity from a recently betrayed spouse?
Does it hinder healing to read the Forum?

Everyone's healing is different. Some posters are triggered by reading the forums and some are not.

That is why the board tries to keep things all about Marriage Builders and Dr. H's concepts and works. That is why posters strongly urge others not to post information that contradicts Dr. H or from your own agenda.

Does Dr Harley ever talk about sexual education for kids?

I caught that too and wondered the same thing about the forums (particularly SAA). I try to stay off that board because it seems to bring back the bad parts of my ww's behavior to my current memory - I don't like how I feel when that happens. Once in a while I'll follow someone from here (or D board) over there, but rarely.

I also think reality is reality and there probably is no escaping the past. Trying to offer insight to someone new to the nightmare of infidelity does give me some sense of satisfaction. There were plenty here who helped me when I was lost afterall.

opt

Well. I am a single father with custody of 2 girls and a boy.
I've listened to the Dr Laura Slessinger shown in the past and I know she recommended that kids know about sex by an early age.
So I contacted the school ....turns out they no longer have sex Ed.

My 8 year old girl is asking more and more questions about female development so I searched on amazon and bought 2 books:
Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom
And
What's the Big Deal : Why God Cares About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones.

I read Before I Was Born to my children today (ages 6,8,10) and although it was a little awkward at first I am glad I did. The books are Church based and promote marriage before sex.

Any thoughts or suggestions on sex discussions with kids?

Currently my daughters really don't have a woman they can speak to that is nearby. Their mothers sister has offered to help as much as possible but she is not local. So discussions such as this fall on me for the time being

Yes, I do!

For my daughter I bought The Care and Keeping of You http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661

I gave it to her when she was 9. It is a GREAT book that explains about bras and how their breasts develop, about shaving how and when to do it, about their period and pads and tampons, etc. It has opened up tons of dialogue with us.

She is now 10 and is turning 11 shortly after Christmas. I bought Family Life today's Passport to Purity along with the project pack.

http://www.familylife.com/find-help/key-resources/passport2purity

The idea is that you take your preteen child for a special weekend with you. There is a travel journal for her. There are Cd's that you listen to and assignments she will complete or you will do together. You are also supposed to do some kind of fun activity that she enjoys for the weekend like the zoo or amusement park or sports game. ( Or he, I will say she because I am doing it with my daughter) You also take your child on a date.

I hope that helps.

I also gave my daughter The Care and Keeping of You.

Great book......and.......just let your daughter know you are willing to discuss such matters with her, uncomfortable that you know that would be, when she is ready to do so and if she has questions.

Tell her you don't have all the answers but will try to do your best.

Thanks for this thread JK. I just ordered the suggested books for my kids. I think they sound most appropriate for my 11 yo daughter.

I'm a little behind the 8 ball with 16 yo son. We've talked but I haven't given him any books to read. We have to talk more about sex because he is just recently started showing an interest in girls (particularly one); but I know they are not sexually active yet (I learned how to snoop with my ww).

any suggestions from anyone on conversation starters for the boys?

opt

I will order the Care and Keeping of You for my daughter.

opt,

NG has grown children, correct? Were any of them boys? How did she handle it? Just curious.

I just sat down with my DS and started to talk about it. My kids have always been very comfortable with talking with me. They would even bring their friends who couldn't talk with their parents. I always stepped lightly with those because I didn't want to step on anyone's toes.

I told my son "I remember very well what it was like to feel all confused as a teenager about boyfriends/girlfriend relationships and that I wanted to help him and answer any questions he had". It always started a great discussion.

I think when you feel comfortable and at ease, they will too.

Well tomorrow I'll be spending Thanksgiving at the bowling Alley!

Our church gave us a Turkey and a basket of food as a gift. When it was offered to me, I told the Sunday School director that I am not in dire need of assistance. She replied that they would like to help. She also said they will buy some clothes for the kids for Christmas. Coming from a family that always refused assistance of any kind, I am learning to reprogram how I respond.

I kindly thanked the Church and can see that these people show their care and love for our family and I am appreciative for their generosity. So, I do have a turkey in the fridge. I just dont want to cook it tomorrow and the kids wanted to spend the day at the bowling alley anyways.

Thanksgiving. A holiday where we are thankful. I have much to be thankful for: I live in a free country, my family is clothed, fed and sheltered and I have $20 in my pocket (which is more than what 80% of the world has tonight).
We are healthy. We have a home church and my children know of God and are instructed in His ways daily. I have employment (although sporadic).
We are all healthy.

The last year was a major roller coaster for me. I my wife left me and the kids for another man. But the kids and I are getting through it and God is providing for our needs.

You could always cook the turkey and bring it to the bowling alley to share with the staff who are there?

No. Outside food Is not allowed.
The bowling alley actually sells pizza on thanksgiving.

Well I ended up taking the kids and a neighbor kid to the skating rink.
While skating a kid came up and asked: "is your name Jedi Knight? Do you go to Jedi Church?"
I said Yes, Hi. I talked to the kid a little bit.

Then I saw where he was sitting at a table and I walked up to talk to his parents and just say hello and ask if they attend the Churvh regularly.

The boys mother told me that she met me at the recent Thanksgiving Dinner and her son attends church wed nights and she does when her work schedule permits it.
I turned to the man she was with and said "your son recognized me"
The woman interrupted me and said "oh we are just best friends and that's as far as it goes"

This woman was physically attractive.
I encouraged her to keep attending church and said goodbye.

But I thought, Why would a woman in her thirties choose to have a best friend that is a male?