That will be interesting to listen to, I'm sure.

I know, right?

What about respect?
If he is usin the name KISS he could at the very least call himself KISS on the radio show..., or Gene Simmons.

Gene Simmons is quite the role model...

Disrespectful HOW, is what I wonder.

"It's your fault we can't recover"?

kiss,

Where are you? Where did you go?

We have been talking and we went to a marriage counselor on Thursday. It was very good as we did discuss how RQ feels about me pressuring her. I think it helped both of us see our sides of the issue. I realize that when she is having a moment or a bad flashback I need to not push her for info on whats going on. I think she realized that when I ask her whats wrong or if she is ok that she needs to give me some kind of response not just shut down. She should be able to tell me she is having upsetting thoughts or that she just needs a moment and I should be ok with that and give her space without pushing her for more info.

It was RQ on the radio show yesturday. She was accually just giving them a update on us not wanting it to be used on the radio but it really helped me realize that I can't push her for info when she is having a bad moment or a flashback from a trigger.

KISS

I want a cookie I called it!

You got it.

You shouldn't be pushing her...period.

X2 Kiss I hope you are listening.

If RQ is out of plan B, maybe she should resume her thread in order to get support and feedback.

Just because RQ is taking baby steps out of Plan B it doesn't mean she wants to stay married.

She just may not be able to overcome the damage done by Kiss. And that's not her fault, she never got a vote about whether Kiss dropped his pants and allowed his d... in another woman's mouth, etc., etc.

And it doesn't mean she needs to start up her thread and get marriage advice either.

just an observation..... and just my .25

That's why I put the "maybe" because I wouldn't want her to feel vulnerable to manipulation...

The ball has been in kiss's court for a year now.

I have have been trying to give RQ space. I made a deal with her that I wouldn't reach out to her unless she sends me a text or calls me. I only come around or stay at the house when she wants me to. So when we are together I will ask her if she wants me to stay or go to my buddies house. When she says for me to stay she I always ask if she is sure she wants me to stay. I don't want her to feel obligated for me to stay.

A coupe nights ago she said that she wanted me to go to stay at my buddies house and again I asked her if she thats really what she wanted just like the nights she asks me to stay. She got upset with me saying that I was pressuring her. So I left.

The next day I only sent her a text a couple of times. I didn't want to push or bother her unless she reached out to me. Thats what we agreed to when we first started talking. Later she was mad because I didn't text that often. I don't know what to do! I don't want to push or rush her but I don't want her to think I don't think about her every second that I'm away from her either.

It just seams like such a fine line. I don't want to due anything to push her away. I feel some times that I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.

KISS

I re listened to the radio program today of RQ sending her update to the radio show. My biggest takeaways were that when having intimate conversation ask questions to get to know each other better. Focus on things that we like. This will help make love bank deposits. Also pay 100 percent attention to RQ. The negative things to avoid are don't draw on the past. Any negative thoughts don't bring them up. Also if you can't control the anger or disrespectful out bursts don't talk at all. Have great conversations. My #1 thing I need to work on right now is keeping the conversations balanced. We both talk equal. When she brings up a topic or issue have a response don't just have a one or two word response. I have to work on stimulating her and show that I am engaged in the conversation not just a listener.

KISS

Assume, instead, that you're staying at your friend's house and don't pose the question to her every time. If she wants otherwise, let her bring it up on her own and not as a response to a question that you've asked.

So when we are together I will ask her if she wants me to stay or go to my buddies house. When she says for me to stay she I always ask if she is sure she wants me to stay. A couple nights ago she said that she wanted me to go to stay at my buddies house and again I asked her if she that's really what she wanted just like the nights she asks me to stay. She got upset with me saying that I was pressuring her.

Okay, so how about abandoning the passive/aggressive crap and just do WHAT she wants, WHEN she wants it, without questioning her? With the history you and she have, specifically your manipulation of her emotions, it's obvious to us out here that:

- you're fully cognizant of the disturbing effect that the "Are you suuuuuure...." approach is having, and
- she is rapidly getting wise to your tactics.

If she asks you to shave your head, my friend, your only question should be, "Do you have a razor handy?"