Then prepare to get comfortable with the prospect of footing the bill for a pair of lawyers' retainers & separate residences on your current incomes, + a nice legal scrum over visitation & support. Because if you don't expose the affair, then the affair is likely to outlast your marriage.

You can start rebuilding the marriage once the affair is busted up. (And hey, if he loses his job, then he's not going to be so appealing to skanky-ho. Lots of women have affairs with married men, but not too many are excited at the prospect of a married man witout a dime in his pocket.) Best thing that can happen is, he loses the job, she dumps him, he comes to his senses, works on the marriage, and gets another job later. And if it doesn't work out, you don't have to stick with him.

But if you want to keep your options open for saving the marriage, then you've GOT to play hardball in busting up the affair. That means you need to send a letter to his boss, with copies to his company's general counsel & directors (so that no one recipient will be tempted to sweep the affair under the carpet), alerting them to the probability that these two are carrying on an affair using company resources & placing the company at heightened reputational risk as well as risk for legal liability over things such as allegations of favoritism, hostile work-environment, etc. Sure, this'll make your husband mad, but it'll also put a lot of stress on the affair relationship. Meanwhile, at home, you can be as sweet as honey & sugar to him, to set up a nice contrast with the suddenly angst-filled affair-relationship.

Yes, get the idea.

Will do.

All the best to me!

You are right.

There's no actions from the bosses with regards to the anonymous mails.

dd. No one believes anonymous mails and the waywards can spin it as someone who made it up and is just trying to back at them for something...or one of waywards other favorites is that it was a joke.

dd. Please tell me that you are not going to sit back and let this POS steal your DH and your kids and get off smelling like roses. She will tell everyone that your marriage was in trouble before she came into the picture and that she came along and rescued him. She will make herself look like the hero and you the villain.

You have to get the truth out there. Have you called her parents yet?

WH's parents will be going this week

Going where? To see OW?

Are you still trying to get someone else to take the actions to save your own marriage? First you let his sister fight for you, and now you're expecting Granny and Grampy to wade in?

Sorry, ma'am, but you cannot outsource this task.

duchess, you need to put on your big girl pants and get in there and start fighting for your marriage. You will have get your hands dirty if you want to save this. Don't sit back and wait for your marriage to die. Go read my exposure thread in my signature and start blowing up this affair!

Why don't you go with them ( I am guessing this means WH's parents are going to talk to OW parents?) Let them see that you are a real person who is devastated by this affair.

Sitting back and letting everyone else fight for you looks like THEY care more than you do. This is not lost on your WH...he sees it also.

Paid OW's family a visit.
Her mom seems to know of the affair and claims there's no wrong or right when it comes to affair of hearts.
She asked to keep WH in check rather than confronting the OW.

Apparently, OW was informed by her parents of the unwelcomed visit.
She then informed WH and it'll be a showdown with him later.

Any advise?

What did you need advice about specifically?

Yes. Expose this affair to everyone ASAP.

No showdown like over the phone earlier

He acts as if like nothing happened

OK,

So are you going to do something? Is so, would you like help with a plan?

He's not disgraced by his actions, nor repentful.

He even blamed me for not divorcing.

He claimed they had broken up cos no future.

What's next?

I'm really disappointed with this man, and how he had changed.

Duchess he's in the fog of the affair, it's like being drunk or drugged. As long as he gets his supply he is happy and passive and non reactive.

No reaction from him is a bad sign because it means you have not threatened his drug supply. He is happy because he believes the A is safe. You havent upset OW enough to threaten his fun on the side because she has enabling parents.

Please rock the boat more than this. Your goal is not to avoid anger but court it.

The pattern of busting up an affair looks like this:

- BW threatens the A
- WH gets angry and aggresive to make her back off.
- BW cooly ignores this and carries on regardless,
- The A then continues to get hit and placed under strain.

It is only after the end of the A and after a period of withdrawal that he will be anything like the man you used to know, so there is no point playing nice with the drug addict.

Send out official emails and letters to the workplace and get to work on a FB exposure to all her friends.

Go to her FB page and copy her friends names into it ASAP before she figures out she should block you.

Do you have access to her FB?

Her FB is set on private since day 1.

I get you, and most prolly, I'll pay the office a visit.

Stick as close as you can to the instructions on Melody Lane's exposure thread. That is a tried and tested method that has gained great success in workplace exposure.

A visit is not a bad idea, but make sure your exposure is in writing so it is recorded first and sent to as many relevant people as possible.

Have you tried this?

Facebook:A backdoor to see more

He fell out with his family, but claimed he'll work things out slowly with me.He claimed they had broke up.

But, I see no efforts from him, be it actions or words. He even commented he wish his time will come soon, like people had wronged him.

What do you suggest my next step to be?