Dr. Harley on making exceptions:

Originally Posted by Dr. Harley
A lot of people think I'm too rigid in maintaining this position ... , and they say "Well there've got to be exceptions; there are exceptions to everything in life. Wouldn't there be an exception to this?" ... "And all I can say is that our experience is, these exceptions don't work."

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=2747

In context, Dr. Harley is talking about exceptions to the Marriage Builders "no contact with a former affair partner or lover" Extraordinary Precaution. But this holds true for a lot of other MB guidelines as well.

You can make all the exceptions you want -- but if you want to benefit from Dr. Harley's experience repairing marriages, it might be worth your while to give this warning some attention: in his experience, the exceptions people make usually fail to work out in the long term.

I'll give you an example of where I've been guilty of this: Dr. Harley says to eliminate demands, disrespect, and anger. I was here for over a year and had been in the Marriage Builders coaching program for almost a year when I finally realized that "eliminate" did not mean "reduce" or merely "try to avoid." I thought I was doing my part and an occasional love buster was understandable. But that's not at all what Dr. Harley says, and by carving out this exception for myself, I was causing our marriage to fail!

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.