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Where does one start?? I have only been married since August. And,I already find myself wondering if we have made a HUGE mistake. I love him,but I DO NOT TRUST HIM AT ALL! I find myself thinking it is too hard, my now insecurities over his choices cause alot of misery for us. It has to be wrong to wish you aren't married at two months. I question if we love each other enough, or if we are both just too embarassed to split up this soon and be gossip fodder. I could care less honestly. I don't know what to do or how to fix us. Hoping for some advice. My insecurity is going to kill what love we have left, but his attempts to keep the peace by lying are only fueling. It feels like a our relationship is in a death spiral (it's a figure of speech, before anyone misinterprets it).
Let me explain how we got to here. I started dating him two years ago. He seemed like Mr. Perfect. Treated me like no other man had. I was hopelessly smitten by him.After about two months of dating, he went to show me something on his phone that came in from his ex girlfriend. Unfortunatley,as he scrolled the text thread, I saw more than I wanted to see. I felt like an idiot as I realized that there was unresolved feelings for her. I told him to resolve them. I knew that he had been crazy about her. It seemed that she saw some pics of us posted and it bothered her and communication had been going on that was not appropriate for someone seeing somoen.Well, he declared that he had stopped it. Vowed to not hurt me.
Well, we started spending almost every night together. Then one night out of the blue, he calls me at work and says he is tired and going to stay at his house. Well, I can appreciate that. I posted on FB that night that I missed him. A woman posted, I know.. that's why he's here with me. I responded. Great. Keep hm! The next day, he unkowingly shows up at my house and I light a fire under him.He appears dumbfounded and swears he was alone.Well, he looks on FB and then tells me that is one of his ex-wife's co-workers. I was like.And?? He said that they must be stirring crap.I let it go. I wanted it to be the truth. Well, about 4 months into the relationship, my neighbor has company and he is acting really strange. I questioned him and he explains that it was that woman that had posted.I realize that he keeps texting someone. So, he leaves his phone to charge in my bathroom on my charger. I go to "use" the restroom and look through his phone. His exwife and he are joking that I am mad and that he shouldn't have slept with her. I come out and ask him if he is acting weird because he really did sleep with her. And, of course, no. I go to the kitchen and make myself a drink. When I come back I confront him again. He denies. I go grab his phone... and lo and behold, the texts are gone. I tell him I read them. And, I am pissed that he lied, that he was so bla`ze about it with his ex, and that he deleted them. He said he was scared to tell me that he had dated her before he met me and slept with her. But, that he dumped her and that with him having texted his ex gf while with me and getting in trouble he thought it was easier to lie and make it go away than tell the truth. (SUCH LOGIC)Because then, I didn't trust him at all. But, his exwife sent me a message saying that her coworker is crazy and that she knows he loves me. So, I let it go as poor decision to tell the truth and not that he was being unfaithful while with me.
So, our lives rock on and we are doing fabulous. Then, in January of 12 it starts being weird, he starts being less involved. Working later. He starts doing all sorts of stuff for his kids. Which is good. He was living with us in my house and couldn't financially contribute because he has a house too, but we wanted to live together. But, he kept spending ridiculous amounts of money on his kids. Automobiles, etc. Then on more than one occasion, he came home late for dinner, because his exwife had asked him to stop by walmart because he works close to one and drop off milk/dog food, etc. Umm, she is remarried. And, the kids are 17,20. There is no reason that with 5 drivers at her house she needs my man to shop for her and swing by. I was put out that he woudl do it, disrespecting me and my kids by being late to do that.
Well, he starts staying a night here and there at his house because he says that he is working on the house.And, I believed him. Well.... a night here and there became almost every night in a few months. I confronted him on March 31 and he said that he was just tired had alot of stress on his shoulders but that he loved me.THe very next morning I wake up, already down because it is the anniversary of my dad's death, he sends me a breakupemail saying he was sorry but didn't want to hurt me. But, it just wasn't what it should be, but he didn't know what to do for some time as he loved me as his friend, but felt we shouldn't be together. I was hurt. The next day, he calls me over to talk. He apologizes and says he doesn't want to be broke up but that he has been "scared" and hasn't known what to do. He was married for 18 years to his ex and hadn't been in any real relationships that lasted much time since until ...me. Said he would do counseling, etc to make us right, but that he loved me. Of course, I loved him. And, I agreed.
It was hard at first, but we fell back into when we are together it feels like we were always meant to be. So comfortable. I was happy. Then, a friend swang by my house and told me she saw him at a game with another woman. I was like What??? I confronted him and he said that a group of people he knew went to that high school game. It was nothing. Operation investigation started for me. I found out he had been talking to other women. Trying to see what was out there. I dumped his butt. His ex wife was even calling and emailign me trying to see if she could intervene that they were supposedly best friends and it hurt her to see him hurting since I dumped him. Well, I meet him to talk one evening and I demand he let me see his phone. And, in the texts between him and his ex... she says he was stepping up from me by trying to date two of the women he apparently talked to.How is a woman that is willing to date an man in a relationship stepping up from someone who is faithful? I knew she was full of crap then, trying to help...sheesh.
Well, he goes out of his way to try and get me back. I agree to date him again under the rules me or not meTo give me that respect. I know he went hogwild when he got a divorce after 18 years , but that doesn't get to roll over into your relationship. Big difference in committed relationship and dating. Well, we get back together. And, life is perfect. Honestly. He is Mr. Perfect all over again. Above and beyond for my feelings. Well, he opts to buy a new house. He wants to get married before. I told him not until after so that it was his before we married because I have my house and we can rent it. Well, the weekend we marry. His ex sends me a hateful email. I was like.. okay? But, I tried to smooth it over. Then about 6 weeks into our marriage, he tells me that his exwife's uncle who he really cared for was in the hospital dying and not expected to make it through the weekend. He was a few hours out of town. He was going to ride down with his ex, see him then come back. I would never tell someone that they shouldn't go see someone that they have known 20+ years until I could go. I told him to make sure that it was okay with her spouse too. And, they made the drive. Well, that night someone called and told me her husband had posted on FB that his wife wouldn'twait for him to come home and go the following day with him but instead went on road trip with her ex and asked for opinions.I was mortified. I felt like an idiot. When he got home that night, I had a fit. And, she was literally blowing up this phone. He wouldn't answer it. Finally, I called her and told her I was pissed that she would want to go with him more than she didn't want to disappoint her own husband. And, that she lied, he was at home (but sick),the position she had put me in, and also that she knew I was mad before my husband got home to me so how on earth did she think that he needed to take her call during our fight. And, to carry it on every second on the second. I was truly not happy. But, I made it clear to him.Poor choices. He should have personally made sure it was okay with her husband instead of her saying so.
Well, we are all short with each other for a few weeks. His ex starts calling and texting him all the time, during work,e tc. Then my ring which was sized wrong finally comes in. I post a picture of it on FB and she literally closes her FB down because she can't stand it. She has decided to befriend all of his relatives tha she supposedly hated and pretend she is a saint. It is creating all sorts of bs between he and I. She has been spreading lies and gossip about me. And, she told me that he would talk to her about me and my kids. Betrayal. I don't think think tha the tryign to get with her physically at all. But, after reviewing their phone records. They are still in an emotional relationship and they use the excusee of the kids to carry it on. When I said the phone bill pissed me off the amount they were texting and calling. If you text 50 texts a day to your exwife but 5 to your new wife. Don't call your wife once during day but shared 2 phone callsa nd 3 emails on top of the text. Yeah, I wasn't happy.
Well, when our next phone bill came in I looke at it and it showed basically nada in communication between them. Well, two nights ago, he was in the bathroom and I grabbed his phone. Looked through it and in a text between them, she was saying how she had been doing as HE asked and was only communicating through his work aphone and email. OMG> I am ready to just be done with us.
I love him, the him he is when heis with me. But, he is a freaking turkey the moment he walks out the door. I don't think he is cheating on me or physicallly would with her. But, it's all the principal. He is sneaky and I hate it. I don't trust him even when he is in front of me. When he speaks, I assume it is a lie. Rather than say,the truth he somehow finds way to always have his cake and eat it too, even if it isn't a physical affair. He let me believe she was the one being sneaky and contact him at work. When come to find out, he told her to.I have been under that assumption and mad at her. He completely messes up my mojo.Ironically, if anyone was to come to our home, you would honestly think we were the perfect couple. It's when he is away that it all goes to hell. But, when he is with me, he treats me privately and publicly better than any man ever. But, it's like some of the drama if he had just told the truth that it would be fine. I think he loves me. I question that he is in love with me, or if he ever was now. And, I wonder had we nto gotten married if wee would be broke up now. As, I would have dumped him. But, would he have broken up with me as well. But, because we married jsut a little over 3 months ago we are trying. I love him. I think he says what everyone wants to hear. A people pleaser. Who ever he is with he makes them happy. Just crap. I don't know how we go forward. Pretend his bs hasn't happened? I can't.I can barely sleep at night. My mind overthinks it all. I can't stand the level of betrayal in the last two years he repeatedly has shown. He hasn't gone but 5 moths in two years that it wasn't crap. I know, why did I marry him? Because I was smitten and wanted to believe that thigns would change. I actually thought that he was good to his ex. Everyone says that. I actually thoguht if we were married that he would treat me and our relationship like somethign precious to care for. He hasn't. I am frustrated. I find myself feelign resentful and irritated when he speaks. When he says a compliment to me, it doesn't seem sincere anymore. I find myself wishing I was with someone else. the doubt in my heart is so much that it seems a hurdle we will never be able to jump so..why bother? I don't know. I am unhappy. Any ideas on how to get past this feeling over lies, infidelity?
Last edited by LostAllTrust; 12/04/12 02:42 PM.
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Where does one start??.... Start by retyping this with paragraphs and spaces between sentences. Impossible to read the way you wrote it.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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A bit more concise wouldnt bother anyone either.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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Where does one start?? I have only been married since August. And,I already find myself wondering if we have made a HUGE mistake. I love him,but I DO NOT TRUST HIM AT ALL! I find myself thinking it is too hard, my now insecurities over his choices cause alot of misery for us. It has to be wrong to wish you aren't married at two months. I question if we love each other enough, or if we are both just too embarassed to split up this soon and be gossip fodder. I could care less honestly. I don't know what to do or how to fix us. Hoping for some advice. My insecurity is going to kill what love we have left, but his attempts to keep the peace by lying are only fueling. It feels like a our relationship is in a death spiral (it's a figure of speech, before anyone misinterprets it). Let me explain how we got to here. I started dating him two years ago. He seemed like Mr. Perfect. Treated me like no other man had. I was hopelessly smitten by him.After about two months of dating, he went to show me something on his phone that came in from his ex girlfriend. Unfortunatley,as he scrolled the text thread, I saw more than I wanted to see. I felt like an idiot as I realized that there was unresolved feelings for her. I told him to resolve them. I knew that he had been crazy about her. It seemed that she saw some pics of us posted and it bothered her and communication had been going on that was not appropriate for someone seeing somoen.Well, he declared that he had stopped it. Vowed to not hurt me. Well, we started spending almost every night together. Then one night out of the blue, he calls me at work and says he is tired and going to stay at his house. Well, I can appreciate that. I posted on FB that night that I missed him. A woman posted, I know.. that's why he's here with me. I responded. Great. Keep hm! The next day, he unkowingly shows up at my house and I light a fire under him.He appears dumbfounded and swears he was alone.Well, he looks on FB and then tells me that is one of his ex-wife's co-workers. I was like.And?? He said that they must be stirring crap.I let it go. I wanted it to be the truth. Well, about 4 months into the relationship, my neighbor has company and he is acting really strange. I questioned him and he explains that it was that woman that had posted.I realize that he keeps texting someone. So, he leaves his phone to charge in my bathroom on my charger. I go to "use" the restroom and look through his phone. His exwife and he are joking that I am mad and that he shouldn't have slept with her. I come out and ask him if he is acting weird because he really did sleep with her. And, of course, no. I go to the kitchen and make myself a drink. When I come back I confront him again. He denies. I go grab his phone... and lo and behold, the texts are gone. I tell him I read them. And, I am pissed that he lied, that he was so bla`ze about it with his ex, and that he deleted them. He said he was scared to tell me that he had dated her before he met me and slept with her. But, that he dumped her and that with him having texted his ex gf while with me and getting in trouble he thought it was easier to lie and make it go away than tell the truth. (SUCH LOGIC)Because then, I didn't trust him at all. But, his exwife sent me a message saying that her coworker is crazy and that she knows he loves me. So, I let it go as poor decision to tell the truth and not that he was being unfaithful while with me. So, our lives rock on and we are doing fabulous. Then, in January of 12 it starts being weird, he starts being less involved. Working later. He starts doing all sorts of stuff for his kids. Which is good. He was living with us in my house and couldn't financially contribute because he has a house too, but we wanted to live together. But, he kept spending ridiculous amounts of money on his kids. Automobiles, etc. Then on more than one occasion, he came home late for dinner, because his exwife had asked him to stop by walmart because he works close to one and drop off milk/dog food, etc. Umm, she is remarried. And, the kids are 17,20. There is no reason that with 5 drivers at her house she needs my man to shop for her and swing by. I was put out that he woudl do it, disrespecting me and my kids by being late to do that. Well, he starts staying a night here and there at his house because he says that he is working on the house.And, I believed him. Well.... a night here and there became almost every night in a few months. I confronted him on March 31 and he said that he was just tired had alot of stress on his shoulders but that he loved me.THe very next morning I wake up, already down because it is the anniversary of my dad's death, he sends me a breakupemail saying he was sorry but didn't want to hurt me. But, it just wasn't what it should be, but he didn't know what to do for some time as he loved me as his friend, but felt we shouldn't be together. I was hurt. The next day, he calls me over to talk. He apologizes and says he doesn't want to be broke up but that he has been "scared" and hasn't known what to do. He was married for 18 years to his ex and hadn't been in any real relationships that lasted much time since until ...me. Said he would do counseling, etc to make us right, but that he loved me. Of course, I loved him. And, I agreed. It was hard at first, but we fell back into when we are together it feels like we were always meant to be. So comfortable. I was happy. Then, a friend swang by my house and told me she saw him at a game with another woman. I was like What??? I confronted him and he said that a group of people he knew went to that high school game. It was nothing. Operation investigation started for me. I found out he had been talking to other women. Trying to see what was out there. I dumped his butt. His ex wife was even calling and emailign me trying to see if she could intervene that they were supposedly best friends and it hurt her to see him hurting since I dumped him. Well, I meet him to talk one evening and I demand he let me see his phone. And, in the texts between him and his ex... she says he was stepping up from me by trying to date two of the women he apparently talked to.How is a woman that is willing to date an man in a relationship stepping up from someone who is faithful? I knew she was full of crap then, trying to help...sheesh. Well, he goes out of his way to try and get me back. I agree to date him again under the rules me or not meTo give me that respect. I know he went hogwild when he got a divorce after 18 years , but that doesn't get to roll over into your relationship. Big difference in committed relationship and dating. Well, we get back together. And, life is perfect. Honestly. He is Mr. Perfect all over again. Above and beyond for my feelings. Well, he opts to buy a new house. He wants to get married before. I told him not until after so that it was his before we married because I have my house and we can rent it. Well, the weekend we marry. His ex sends me a hateful email. I was like.. okay? But, I tried to smooth it over. Then about 6 weeks into our marriage, he tells me that his exwife's uncle who he really cared for was in the hospital dying and not expected to make it through the weekend. He was a few hours out of town. He was going to ride down with his ex, see him then come back. I would never tell someone that they shouldn't go see someone that they have known 20+ years until I could go. I told him to make sure that it was okay with her spouse too. And, they made the drive. Well, that night someone called and told me her husband had posted on FB that his wife wouldn'twait for him to come home and go the following day with him but instead went on road trip with her ex and asked for opinions.I was mortified. I felt like an idiot. When he got home that night, I had a fit. And, she was literally blowing up this phone. He wouldn't answer it. Finally, I called her and told her I was pissed that she would want to go with him more than she didn't want to disappoint her own husband. And, that she lied, he was at home (but sick),the position she had put me in, and also that she knew I was mad before my husband got home to me so how on earth did she think that he needed to take her call during our fight. And, to carry it on every second on the second. I was truly not happy. But, I made it clear to him.Poor choices. He should have personally made sure it was okay with her husband instead of her saying so. Well, we are all short with each other for a few weeks. His ex starts calling and texting him all the time, during work,e tc. Then my ring which was sized wrong finally comes in. I post a picture of it on FB and she literally closes her FB down because she can't stand it. She has decided to befriend all of his relatives tha she supposedly hated and pretend she is a saint. It is creating all sorts of bs between he and I. She has been spreading lies and gossip about me. And, she told me that he would talk to her about me and my kids. Betrayal. I don't think think tha the tryign to get with her physically at all. But, after reviewing their phone records. They are still in an emotional relationship and they use the excusee of the kids to carry it on. When I said the phone bill pissed me off the amount they were texting and calling. If you text 50 texts a day to your exwife but 5 to your new wife. Don't call your wife once during day but shared 2 phone callsa nd 3 emails on top of the text. Yeah, I wasn't happy. Well, when our next phone bill came in I looke at it and it showed basically nada in communication between them. Well, two nights ago, he was in the bathroom and I grabbed his phone. Looked through it and in a text between them, she was saying how she had been doing as HE asked and was only communicating through his work aphone and email. OMG> I am ready to just be done with us. I love him, the him he is when heis with me. But, he is a freaking turkey the moment he walks out the door. I don't think he is cheating on me or physicallly would with her. But, it's all the principal. He is sneaky and I hate it. I don't trust him even when he is in front of me. When he speaks, I assume it is a lie. Rather than say,the truth he somehow finds way to always have his cake and eat it too, even if it isn't a physical affair. He let me believe she was the one being sneaky and contact him at work. When come to find out, he told her to.I have been under that assumption and mad at her. He completely messes up my mojo.Ironically, if anyone was to come to our home, you would honestly think we were the perfect couple. It's when he is away that it all goes to hell. But, when he is with me, he treats me privately and publicly better than any man ever. But, it's like some of the drama if he had just told the truth that it would be fine. I think he loves me. I question that he is in love with me, or if he ever was now. And, I wonder had we nto gotten married if wee would be broke up now. As, I would have dumped him. But, would he have broken up with me as well. But, because we married jsut a little over 3 months ago we are trying. I love him. I think he says what everyone wants to hear. A people pleaser. Who ever he is with he makes them happy. Just crap. I don't know how we go forward. Pretend his bs hasn't happened? I can't.I can barely sleep at night. My mind overthinks it all. I can't stand the level of betrayal in the last two years he repeatedly has shown. He hasn't gone but 5 moths in two years that it wasn't crap. I know, why did I marry him? Because I was smitten and wanted to believe that thigns would change. I actually thought that he was good to his ex. Everyone says that. I actually thoguht if we were married that he would treat me and our relationship like somethign precious to care for. He hasn't. I am frustrated. I find myself feelign resentful and irritated when he speaks. When he says a compliment to me, it doesn't seem sincere anymore. I find myself wishing I was with someone else. the doubt in my heart is so much that it seems a hurdle we will never be able to jump so..why bother? I don't know. I am unhappy. Any ideas on how to get past this feeling over lies, infidelity? Welcome to MB, LAT, but WOAH!!! Nobody will be able to read what you wrote because it is so long and it needs to be broken down into paragraphs of 3-4 lines. Could you please cut it well back, and give us a summary including these points: How long have you been married? Is your H having an affair? What evidence do you have? Do you have children? Who is the other woman? Is she a colleague, or ex-girlfriend, for example? Have you confronted your H about the affair? Has the affair ended? How do you know it has, if so?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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I couldn't figure how to delete it. So, I added spaced. How do you delete post and just write new?
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Don't worry about deleting. Just write the summary that I asked for in your next post.
I will try and read the existing post meanwhile.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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You have been married 3 months. Before you married your then boyfriend began seeing his ex-wife again. Did this become physical? Were you living wit your boyfriend at that point?
You married him after he appeared to stop cheating, but now he seems to be seeing her again. Is that right?
Is there another woman involved as well? I couldn't make out whether you are talking about one woman or two.
Is he still in contact with his ex? Is she still living with her H?
Why did his marriage to her break down?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Married 3 mos. Emotional affair with ex wife- Never physical. But, sometimes 50+ texts a day, 4 phone calls, a few emails a day, and has nothing left to share with me shared with her. She is married also. Seems him getting married brought out unresolved feelings. Yes, they are in contact ongoing.
They married young. Grew up together. And, became complacent. Split up and both got into dating scene/relationships quickly.
He has been caught texting/FB 5 women while dating. Went and met one. And, one is questionable if he slept with her before or during our relationship as both have lied on timeline. To my knowledge, just communicatng inappropriately with ex wife since marriage. But, it's a collective.. I don't trust him anymore.
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It's just always saying what I want to hear. And, really its smoke and mirrors.
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Been married 3 months and already having issues...........I say cut your losses
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Split up and both got into dating scene/relationships quickly.
How quickly? More to the point, was he still legally, technically married when you met him? A "Yes" or "No" answer is sufficient.
I don't trust him anymore.
Obviously with good reason. Are you staying with him just to avoid admitting you made a mistake in marrying him? If so, that is a terrible decision. Admit the error, end the "marriage", and move on, wiser by far.
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Been together two years. Married 3 mos. When he is with me, he acts like the perfect guy. Even when he is being unperfect with me. Meaning, he has spent a perfect day with me, said he loved me, made love to me. Went to work, talks to other women.(?)
He has been caught on multiple occasions texting, flirting, FB(Is like a gateway place for cheaters), met one, and there is question if he slept with one(conflicting stories regarding sex). I have always forgiven him. Gave him the benefit of the doubt to be right.
Everything was going great before we married. I really thought he had changed. But, we have really fought over his exwife since we got married.He used the "pretext" that it was always about their kids (17,20). Well, when I saw the phone bill, and the amount of text and calls during our first month of marriage alone. It wwas ridiculous. 25x more than he spoke to me=his wife. sometimes 10+ texts every hour. That's not about the kids. Then, he said but they were best friends. Well, aren't I supposed to be his best friend? He has lied and lied during the beginning of our marriage regarding her. I don't think he is having a physical affair or wants him back. I just think he is having an emotional affair with her.
He led me to believe that after I said somethign she quit texting him. Well, the other night I saw his phone and there was a text from er saying how she was doing and only contacting him by work phone and email etc during the day so I wouldn't see AS HE HAD ASKED.
Problem is why isn't he satisfied by me? He has lied so much I don't trust him. And, without trust, everyone is miserable. He cheats on us by talking to others inappropriately. My fear is he is "one of those" that do this type stuff. Just nothing is ever enough. And, there will be another, then another, then another. And, that's not the life I want. And, I would like for us to split up. I have had it, but I have to keep pretending to keep peace. He wants to try but I honestly think it's because he feels embarassed if after 3 mos of marriage we split up. Seriously miserable.
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Let me add that while dating. He got caught talking to ex gf and even helping her with bills while with me. I read the texts and we fought.Excuse:She broke up with him. She initiated communication because she saw us together and it hurt her and he had unresolved feelings from breakup. With a choice, he ended it. Then, he got caught trying to talk to 4 different women locally (my small town)-starting through FB then to text/calls. One he met. He has initiated what leads to physical. "Scouting" per se. Each just was talking inappropriately without sex. That really shouldn't be a did he cheat or not cheat defining point. There are lots of ways to cheat. And, his ex spitefully told me that he talked about me to her. Which broke my heart. I felt betrayed.
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Joined: Mar 2010
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Stay on one thread. Click "notify" at the bottom of this one and ask the Mods to merge them.
It's much too distracting to track your progress, etc on multiple threads.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14 |
Within weeks of split, they were both dating. 2 yr. divorce when I met.
I have been more in love than he has entire relationship. I love him. But, don't see how love with no trust will work. And, I think he is trying to make it work more for appearances because he worries about how "HE" is perceived. Sometimes, to my detriment.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
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Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
If you married him AFTER he cheated on you multiple times (that you know of) then he is not going to suddenly become the honest man you want him to be. Divorce him. You can't change a person who does not want to change.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14 |
I think we get caught up in the Jekyll and Hyde, they are two people is how it seems. The great one that you love that says all the right things. And,then there is this person who when away from you couldn't possibly be the same person. Someone who shows no true loyalty or love for you at all, just out for their selfish needs/wants. It's easier to make him be two people ( with regards to actions) as then there is hope that you can have just your love. It's the fact that I have to realize the same man that kisses me sweetly is the same man who lies just as smoothly from the same lips. When I rationalize this, I feel I can't go forward.
Heart says I love him and good guy will win out. Mind says, you fool, same guy is a great mirage. See what you want, when you need it. Smoke in mirrors.
How do you ever know what's really them if they lie. And it comes natural to them. To live pretend lives.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
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Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983 |
He failed the boyfriend test miserably and you married him anyways.
You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery if you stay with him. You see, he already knows he can treat you poorly and you will stay. He cheated on you multiple times and you married him.
Do you have children with him or are you currently pregnant by him? If not, get out now before you are.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
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Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709 |
Then, in January of 12 it starts being weird, he starts being less involved. Working later. He starts doing all sorts of stuff for his kids. Which is good. He was living with us in my house and couldn't financially contribute because he has a house too, but we wanted to live together. But, he kept spending ridiculous amounts of money on his kids. Automobiles, etc. Do you have joint accounts?
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 14 |
No children together. My kids love him though 
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