Hey WhoDat:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Thanks for the thoughts; introspection and change are a never-ending process, as I am a Work In Progress.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Aren't we all!

How many of you have sent messages to have <BR>whodat banned??? Just wondering...he was hateful wasn't he?? He is filled with anger, isn't he??? Then let's get rid of him..also..just what is his INFIDELITY experience???? I need his story..he knows mine after all.<P>Lonestar,<BR>You were mentioned, because in FACT..whenever this clique writes..you are there..you know it as much as I. Of course there was no way I could have known you had not read whodat's diatribe.....malicious accusation...out here,,in the West.. we call those words to sue by..you must be familiar with that..HUH?? Anyway...since you said you had not read his disgusting words..then you know I addressed you without you being aware..but, now you are. What is your response to your friend whodat? I'm curious...(yellow) probably before your time...<P>Take care,<BR>DG99(H)<P>

D99....<P>Please. Please. Please.<P>Try not to jump to conclusions without having more reliable information? You're so quick to label people.<P>I had NO ulterior motives in mind when I posted you a couple of days ago. I didn't mean to insult you. I apologize if you took it that way, but no insult was intended. I was not even able to read all that was going on in the Forum.<P>You asked me to write you privately. I responded by saying I wanted to be cautious given our history of acrimony. Your request to communicate was interpreted by me as being POSSIBLY a babystep towards rapprochment. I then indicated I'd be willing to take a babystep myself. Does that not seem reasonable?<P>As for the assumptions some people made about who sent the post to Carol at Glenn's funeral...well, can we learn from it? Geez, D99. Can you stop to look for a minute and ponder why some people might have thought it was you?<P>That's precisely what I'm trying to address with you. Your "behavior" gives you a bad image. You're right when you occasionally say that we don't know you. All we have to go on is your behavior on this forum.<P>Put another way...I'm in the "identity management" business. A widely-accepted maxim of our industry is, "your identity is the experience of your audience". We, the audience of the MB Forum only have your behavior to identify you. Is it any wonder people just jumped to conclusions? <P>Food for thought.

D99:<P>Whodat and I do not correspond much. I wouldn't consider myself as close to him as I am to say DMac and Suse, to Maya, to RJR, to Knifed, to Empty Shell, and a few others. If that's a "clique" in your mind, then okay.<P>Now, having read Whodat's replies to you, I must say that I don't see the venom that YOU see. I see strong disagreement with you. I see a little anger and frustration at you. I also see that he jumped to conclusions that YOU were the one who sent the note to Carol. I also see that he apologized for that.<P>I'm sorry, but I just don't see the grand conspiracy against you. I do see several people who take issue with what they perceive to be a hateful attitude on your part. I will admit that I too take issue with your position many times.<P>However, I use my OWN brain to think about your position, and just because, on occasion, I happen to agree with K or Whodat or DuncanMac, or somebody else who disagrees with you DOESN'T mean that we're all out to get you.<P>Ya know, if EVERYBODY is seeing you in a particular way, maybe ya oughta step back and examine yourself from their perspective. It might be an eye-opener.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR>

Lonestar,<BR>EVERYBODY does not See me in a certain way. Remember THAT my friend. Have a good weekend.<P>DG99(H)

D99:<P>Okay, perhaps "EVERYBODY" is a bit much. If you want to be literal we can be literal. How about if I put it this way:<P>"When a NUMBER of people see you one way, perhaps you should step back and look at yourself from their perspective."<P>Is that better?<P>I'm not trying to be a [censored] here. I simply want you to recognize that you're as guilty as those you accuse. My point wasn't semantics. "Everybody" was just a generalization. Apparently, a large number of people here are concerned about what they perceive to be an abrasive and hostile attitude from you.<P>Your focus on the semantics rather than the message reinforces my belief that you're enjoying looking for conflict with others here. Believe it or not, I came to that conclusion all by myself with no help from Whodat or DMac or anyone else.<P>Hope your weekend is going better than mine. I'm stuck at the office all day getting ready for a trial.<P>Regards,<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR>

I don't know WHY I feel compelled to write... except that the physical pain I'm feeling and the realization that I could have avoided this altogether makes me want to reach out and shake people...<P>D99, how much pain can you tolerate? I thought I was doing okay - all these years since my H cheated I held resentment and pain. I thought I handled it, even though every time I mentioned it or someone else did I flinched, my insides hurt, and I felt stress. Then earlier this year I had a 3 month affair. I felt like sh*t, but still thought I was handling things okay. Until earlier this week when I became incapacitated with physical pain. My diagnosis, after some very freightening medical tests, has yet to be formalized, but whether its colitis or colon cancer or something in between, it is clear that stress, pain and anger played a role. <P>Please don't let this happen to you. I know we (on this board) don't really know you, or how you are at home, for instance, but if you are showing your W and/or children the kind of pain we see here, your whole family is suffering - and if something like this happens to you they have nothing left.<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Doug...where are you now???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Awww D99, I didn't know you cared! <P><p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited November 07, 1999).]