|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
Member
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387 |
Spun....
It's all you know. Sorry about that highjack.
Explain the 2 ways in some detail?
Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
Well it turns out that I know somebody in their hr dept a be I have a coworker that knows quite a few people there. So either I get hr to give them a talking to or I could get a wildfire s$@# storm dropped on them
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
And I have 2 possible ways. The dirty gossip way or the get hr involved way You should expose to the workplace the proper way.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Dr. Harleys. "I have not read everything in this thread, but I want to make it clear that I am in favor of exposure of an affair in the workplace when a spouse will not leave the job after or during an affair with a fellow worker. An affair is such an egregious violation of marital trust that ending it trumps employment and even possible legal action. While most companies will cooperate with the betrayed spouse to separate unfaithful employees, some do not. But it's still worth pursuing considering the suffering that affairs cause. And it definitely speeds up the death of an affair. As for proof regarding an affair, the more you have, the better. But even if you have no absolute proof, but solid circumstantial evidence, a visit to the head of personnel can alert others to be on watch." Best wishes, Willard F. Harley, Jr. hereWorkplace exposure letter - be sure and send to 3 key people and cc each on the letter. Good targets would be the Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both affairee's supervisor. This can be sent via registered letter or even via email! Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney-- To Whom It May Concern: This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics. WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship. If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action. Regards, _________________________ From here. Exposure 101
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
This will not be received well, either way. That's for sure. There will most likely be a harsh penalty for both of them when it's all said and done. I shouldn't care at all, because what I'm dealing with is so much more important ( my life ), but......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
This will not be received well, either way. That's for sure. There will most likely be a harsh penalty for both of them when it's all said and done. I shouldn't care at all, because what I'm dealing with is so much more important ( my life ), but...... This is part of their consequences for having an affair with a coworker. Good job and good luck.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
The other way of justice puts me in a bad spot. Not going there
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
The other way of justice puts me in a bad spot. Not going there What do you mean? You aren't going to do the workplace exposure?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
No I just left a sincere message for the HR manager of their workplace. I have met this woman before. Dealt with her a bit dealing with my W addiction problems. The ball is rolling
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
Quite possibly the most disappointing conversation I have ever had...wow. Almost as if she refused to acknowledge what I was telling her
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
When will you stop trying "Spun's" way, and start trying the MB way.
YOU WRITE A LETTER. YOU SEND IT TO WW's SUPERVISOR, POSOM'S SUPERVISOR, THE HR DEPARTMENT, and THE PRESIDENT/CEO OF THE CONCERN. YOU USE A LETTER SUCH AS THE ONES HERE, AND ALL MAILINGS ARE DONE CERTIFIED.
(Brainy, do you have "Brit's Brat's" letter handy?)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
When will you stop trying "Spun's" way, and start trying the MB way.
YOU WRITE A LETTER. YOU SEND IT TO WW's SUPERVISOR, POSOM'S SUPERVISOR, THE HR DEPARTMENT, and THE PRESIDENT/CEO OF THE CONCERN. YOU USE A LETTER SUCH AS THE ONES HERE, AND ALL MAILINGS ARE DONE CERTIFIED.
(Brainy, do you have "Brit's Brat's" letter handy?) Yes I already posted it to him, back on page 13 on this thread. Workplace Exposure Letters
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387 |
Spun,
You are making this harder on yourself.
Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Quite possibly the most disappointing conversation I have ever had...wow. Almost as if she refused to acknowledge what I was telling her You need to follow up with a proper workplace Exposure letter to a VP and your WW's and OM's supervisors and the HR director. I would also state in the letter that you told this lady in HR that you talked to.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
Quite possibly the most disappointing conversation I have ever had...wow. Almost as if she refused to acknowledge what I was telling her That could be just their way of pleading deniability. An affair is treated much more serious than a drug problem, or at least, within the same department of workplace wackiness.. I would do a company-wide exposure letter to HR and with CC, or Carbon Copies, to the company president, so the head of HR knows you have notified their boss too, and then just drop it. Just keep a copy so you can show the attorneys/judges when you go to court.
The head of HR is not going to validate any activity that might be happening, unless they are eyewitness, in which they don't want to be..They might think the behavior is disgusting, but if they act because of what they feel, on your word that it is happening...they won't have their job very long...
Ok, Do you get it? There are plenty of good people here who can help you, if you follow the directions, and not your emotions.. We understand your impetuousness, just trying to help you not shoot yourself in the foot
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
Nobody wondering why I call myself spun?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 62 |
Lol is right. I am a serious mess people. I have, in a way, made my peace with the fact that my wife and i may have no chance. One can only stomach so much $&@#. I'm going to make sure these two know, and everybody else as well, that what they are doing is wrong and that I'm not going to sit back and be a witness of it. I'm trying to gather contact info. When I have it I'll send out a letter. You are right about HR CP. I don't work there. HR's job is to look out for the companies best interest. But come on......human decency should not be brushed aside
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
153
guests, and
51
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,494
Members71,967
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
