You are really a hero, yanno?

falconrap, your endurance is amazing.

It looks to me like the reason for no communication is because the other person isn't interested, and your WW sounds too depressed or needy to initiate the contact on her own.

So you're okay for now, but things will be right back to affair mode if some guy meets her who decides to take an active interest in her.

I'm hoping to fill that void myself. I'm also hoping that I can get some really good guidance from either Steve or Dr. Chalmers when I get my MB session. The one things I have heard is that there is no definitive timeline, and I shouldn't have any expectations, but I have seen that around 3 months seems to be a common time frame for many WW's to start turning. I would say if she stays like this, or better, for this week and upcoming weekend, that she may in fact be at that point. For now, however, I am assuming that she'll come back down.

If she stay like this, I will be putting on the full court press. I've been slowly ramping up things that she seems to be responding too, last week's depression filled setback not withstanding. I think I've successfully walked the fine line where too much would smother her and tend to drive her away, and too little would indicate I don't care. The biggest results continue to be when I give her 100% UA when she is talking too me.

I'm kind of anxious to see what one of the MB coaches says after I fill them in with all the private details of everything going on. I want to see if they have specific ideas to deliver greater impact on my plan A. I'm also curious to see if she'll give a session a shot when that time comes.

No expectations though. I'm keeping my eye on the long term prize and I'm still thinking I have months to go before she is willing to reconcile, if she ever is.

Good job!

Just trying to do the best I can. I'm hopeful...but have no expectations. Just hope and faith.

That's friggin awesome! I hope this trend continues. Praying for a good outcome for ya! Can't wait till that happens to my WW.

Falcon,

You're a good example for those in the WW fog club. Keep to the plan and great times are in your future.

[quote=falconrap]I guess we need to start the longterm fogged out WW club here.


You've got plenty of members waiting to join the ride....

I think just smiling, laughing, and giving her 100% attention when she speaks has gone a long way. I hope the trend continues. She's been pretty decent so far this evening. Work tends to always wear her down a bit, but she seems to be the same as yesterday. If this goes a week, I'll really be encouraged.

I'm hoping a lot of folks around here get there WS to start coming out of the fog. I read some of the other threads where the same thing has happened. Not every instance ends happily, but it seems coming out of the fog is a great sign. I can't wait to get that MB session and see if I can get her on board. I know all of us hope and pray for that moment, because we are all confident we can win 'em back at that point.

She seemed the same tonight. Unfortunately, I couldn't really engage her in much conversation because she had to do work at home (and will for a couple more days) do to some deadlines that she has to meet before the Christmas break hits (it's not an excuse for either of us...just a fact of her work that I was aware of last week). We did manage a few minor conversations. One pebble at a time. I see them break water when I've thrown enough in there.

Hmm...It appears Dr. Chalmers isn't taking on any new clients until the middle of January. I have no problem counseling with Steve, but I wonder how my wife would do. Any suggestions from the vets on whether or not I should wait for Dr. Chalmers, or just go ahead and go with Steve? The other factor is Steve is available only during the work day. Works for me to do it during lunch, but could be another barrier for her.

I guess the real question is who is better at getting reluctant WW's on board? I could use this information soon.

Thanks.

Man...tough crowd!

Well, I guess I'll see if I get any other opinions on which is best for my situation, given the availability circumstances, and get the appointment scheduled tomorrow for next week (or when Dr. Chalmers is available). At this point I'm leaning towards just going with Steve as I believe the window to really court her back is now opening up. I also plan to send her some flowers next week with a note simply stating that I hope the flowers help keep her spirits up through a tough week at work (these would be delivered to her job). I pulled back a bit today to get a better gauge on where she is at. Still seems the same as the last 2 days, so I think she may be out of depression and defogged (haven't seen much fog around her at all the last couple of days). We'll see.

I hope so man!

You and me both. I just had someone talking to me on the TAM message board about Steve's ability to get very reluctant WW's on board. Apparently he had a friend in a similar situation, and Steve was able to convince his WW to start counseling and doing the program. Apparently they are pretty much fully recovered now.

I'll pray for us both tonight. Hope your WW gets over that POSOM soon and gets it.

Go ahead with Steve.

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead with Steve. Got to send out my appointment details email when I get to work. Can't wait.

Good. Steve is good with getting reluctant spouses on board.

I never heard anyone complain about either

I have my appointment for Monday all setup and ready to go. Got to go fill out the inventory forms now. Wish me luck, and keep the prayers coming for me and my family.

Thanks.