Hello!

We are newlyweds..who just got married March this year.

We havent been spending Christmas back at our parents hometown..and
finally this year we decided to spend Christmas there as a new couple.

Few days before flying back home..he suddenly decided to spend Christmas with his siblings in another city instead of spending it with me as according to him..his siblings cant be home for Christmas.

I felt heartbroken when I heard him say that.It seems like he doesnt value this special moment that I have been looking forward to ever since.

His reasoning is that since we live overseas..we will be spending Christmas together in the years to come and spending Christmas with his family would be a rarity.

I am not to sure whether I am being unreasonable not supporting him as for me when you marry a person, your commitment will be to that person. I feel heartbroken right now as he made me feel I am not his priority when it comes to his family.

Welcome to MB.

How much do you understand the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA)?
POJA

Nicandrii, welcome to Marriage Builders!
You have come to the right place to find out about how to put a plan in place to make your marriage better than you ever dreamed.

I recommend you spend some time getting familiar with the basic concepts here. There is a lot of material and it is all helpful; we will offer words of encouragement, but you need to have an understanding of how we view marriage. Consider reading a book by Dr. W. Harley called "His Needs Her needs".

You will read about a concept called "Policy of Joint Agreement." If you and your husband practiced this you would not be speaking of separate Christmases. It is a cornerstone principle of good marriages - along with several others.

You will do well to persuade your husband to learn about Marriage Builders -- the basic concept is to maintain romantic feelings in marriage for ever, and what man wouldn't want that?! Tell him you've found some material that could help you two stay newlyweds until you are old and gray and sitting around watching the grand kids.

In the meantime, do everything you can to be WITH your husband this Christmas. I'm afraid there may be more to this story.

~optimism