Out of the box thinking.
Use your imagination.
Try something that seems silly.
So what if it fails.
At least you tried something new.

Both of you have bad habits.
Trying new things is the only way to break bad habits.

And for heaven's sake, stop taking yourself so damn serious.

Did anyone else find this hilarious?

Oh, I get it now!

How many kids is it now, markos?

6 or 7

WHAT?????

Is there something I don't know about?

lol, did that get your attention?

Get a room ....

Hi, guys.

As you've already read, Prisca had an angry outburst at me, first Sunday morning, then again yesterday morning. I had an angry outburst at her yesterday afternoon. I did spend last night in a hotel, as per an agreement we made the last time.

I am feeling resentful. Tremendously resentful. I resent that my complaints are met with disrespect. I also resent that after Sunday's angry outburst there didn't seem to be a mutual caring effort to pick up the pieces. And I resent that my complaints are met with disrespect, defensiveness, denial. This has been an ongoing problem which I have simply been ignoring. That's not radical honesty, but when I complain about it, I am punished with disrespect.

What I found was that we could get to intimacy and then the disrespect would drop off dramatically. But every so often it would still occur. And sometimes, Prisca's disrespect was followed immediately by withdrawal on her part. I can't help but feel extreme resentment over the prospect of having to win her back from her own angry outbursts.

Sunday she didn't speak to me all day. I know I can't demand that she speak to me. But it was an instant end to what intimacy we had been building. And all I knew was, it started with her blowing up and me and lashing out, without any warning.

I am waiting to hear back from Kim, our MB coach.

Prisca isn't willing to speak to the coach or post to Dr. Harley. She has had angry outbursts before when I have done so.

Things were just perfect at the beginning of June. Prisca was in love, and I was almost back in love. She got mad at me when she found out it was "almost."

Call the Harleys for a one-on-one phone appointment.

Too much is at stake to piddle solutions.

Do it or I will pluck your body hairs one-by-one with a rusty tweezer.

I would like it if someone looked over our chat conversation from last night, but I don't think Prisca would be enthusiastic.

STOP doing this on this board.

Yes.

Markos you are responsible for your choices and actions, no one else.

An AO does not invite a return AO. I KNOW you know that. Why did you not remove yourself?

A perception of disrespect does not mean you can withhold RH.

It is dishonest.

Avoiding the 'punishment' for honesty has not really worked out for you has it?

Withholding RH is secretive and builds resentment.

It is hardly any wonder you feel resentful when you have chosen to start building it.

Hugs. Get on to the Harleys pronto. We all love you both.

markos, I'm sorry to hear of these events.

For future use, and for anybody else who might need it, and in answer to indie's post about radical honesty:

With the online coaching programme, each spouse is required to complete an online questionnaire once a month. It gauges the level of the love bank. This is the written instruction from Dr Harley:

When Marriage Builders Weekend began, I asked you to complete the "Love Bank Inventory" questionnaire so I would know how much you loved (or hated) each other when you started the program. Now I would like you to complete that inventory again, so I know how you are progressing. Please click the link below for The Love Bank Inventory online. When you have filled it out, submit it to us as directed at the bottom of the page. Please complete this assignment regardless of which lesson you are currently working on.

And do not give each other your answers just yet. I know that violates the Policy of Radical Honesty, but in this case we want accurate information about your progress, and we do not want it confounded with fear that your spouse will be offended by a low score. When you are eventually in love, you can then share with each other how your scores improved. You may then also use the Love Bank Inventory to keep track of how you feel toward each other on your own, with complete honesty regarding the results.

It sounds as if it was too soon for marcos's "almost" to be shared with Prisca.

I appreciate that we on this board should not be taking sides or picking apart their fight. I just wanted to share that information for anyone who might need it.

That is very interesting and something I had not read about RH.

I'm saying prayers for both of you.

markos,

I saw you around today. How are you and Prisca doing?

I'm following Pepperband's instructions, plus a plan prisca and I put together awhile back.

Good luck to you two.

Was it the rusty tweezer?

Pep,

Prisca and I are having problems again. We were posting to Dr. Harley, but she won't post any more. She says I'm disrespectful. I posted to him this morning, and am waiting on a response. I'm feeling pretty miserable at the moment: there are a lot of complaints I have about our marriage that I had hoped would be addressed by now, but they haven't been addressed. Prisca says I am disrespectful.

I can't figure out how I am being disrespectful. I am hoping that she will give me another chance to reword these complaints, if I can learn to do it respectfully.

Would you mind using your influence to try to persuade Prisca to reengage with Dr. Harley? I don't know what other hope we have.

We aren't getting UA time. I tried to complain about that this morning, but Prisca said I was disrespectful.

I don't really have anyone to talk to for support when Prisca is demanding or disrespectful. I follow your (and Dr. Harley's) advice and complain to her, but she rejects my complaints.

She doesn't want to learn to negotiate. She says it is miserable. She was posting to Dr. Harley about this last week, but she won't post any more.