I would try to speak to them personally so they can see you are not a crazy person. You are a heartbroken woman with a small baby at home. What kind of decent parents want a man who has done this for their daughter?

Can you get a phone number on BT directory enquiries? Can you go around to an address? Call their place of work?

From what he has said, I think they have done a cover up job which wouldn't be too easy to undo.

It's worth a shot, if only to ensure this woman is never around your kid.

EXACTLY. WH and OW most likely, in typical wayward fashion, lied to OW parents about you and painted you as a crazy person who kicked WH out. I might even consider sending OW parents a copy of the Plan B letter so they can understand that you are ending contact with him to protect yourself from his hurtful actions but are willing to recover the marriage once he decides to go no contact with the OW.

I don't believe her parents have heard the truth...can you find them and talk to them personally to explain your hurt over your WH's abandonment of his family?

This is wonderful to have SIL's support. Can she take this one step further and tell your WH that she will never allow this OW to darken her doorstep? This OW had no problem stepping into and breaking up someone else's family. A family with a newborn. What kind of person does that?

Oh this is a great idea. I would put in a line also explaining that you can no longer allow him to come around and enjoy the hospitality of your home laughing and joking as though nothing is wrong.

Make it clear that you cant be a crazy person, because you are having to put a distance between you that he does not want. Why does he want so much contact unless his home and marriage was actually fine.

It will also drive home the fact that YOU are ending things with him, and making it so he cant continue to have his cake and eat it too. No one wants their daughter to be second choice, in daily danger of being dumped.

If she were to send this letter, what do you think about including a family photo during happier times and allowing her to see the family her daughter is abetting in destroying? I say if your going to try and hammer a point home, then get the biggest damned hammer you can lay your hands on.

A pic of Hoping pregnant or with the new baby would be good. That way they can see its recent.

I hope she is getting some sleep

I would not do this. If WH is too lazy to get an attorney or ask questions, that's on him. I wouldn't volunteer info that may come back to bite Hoping.

Hoping. You are getting a lot of good advice here. Re-read your thread from time to time to let it all sink in.

It is also advised to send the Plan B letter to the OW. Chances are good that your WH is also lying and playing the victim to her as well. The Plan B letter will clear that up while at the same time causing conflict in their relationship<<<-----


Conflict in affairland is a good thing. Meanwhile you are removed from the drama because you are in Plan B.

Give that baby lots of hugs. I'm sorry that you have such pain and distress during a time that should be one of your happiest.

Thanks guys!

I have the ow address she lives at home with her parents so I will send the plan b letter to both of them.

I will also include a picture of us. What about a picture of my daughter and a picture of me and h on our wedding day?

Shall I include the love letter to my h or just the nc lettter??

I want to get all my ducks in a row and plan this properly over the next few days before I send it.

When I intially spoke to ow dad he sounded suprised and said but she comes home every night. He said he would speak to her and that was that.
My H said that she is a grown woman of 27 and she can do what she likes and that her parents dont care.
She is actually from quite a good family and is well educated I dont understand how she can do this.
My h also said that he has said to her that if anytime this gets too much she can leave him. But she chooses to stay and that she loves him.
H sil has said to h that she doesnt agree with what he has done but she would never abandon him and would meet the ow if he wanted her to. She is really all he has and she doesnt want to ruin there relationship - (with h and sil)
Shall I put in the letter of nc that he has slept with me while they were together? The last time was a month ago at a wedding we went to?
H had to get me a pregnancy test but I think he told ow that this was when we were trying?

Shall I also include that all his close family and friends thinks he is going through some sort of crisis and will want to come back. His mum even told me to wait for him?

I sincerely doubt that two parents, who are apparently still together, whose child is still living in their home, is "okay" with her sleeping with a married man who has a newborn and who is still sleeping with his wife.

Talk to the parents personally (OW will intercept communication). I suspect that the parents have no idea that he is a married father.

alis is right. The best scenario would be to visit the OW parents personally and let them look into your eyes and see your pain. Tell them that you just want them to know the truth. That your WH has abandoned his family to pursue his affair with their daughter.


(((hugs)))

Ok I think you mean the Plan B letter. Here is a thread to help you with the letter here



Did you tell OW Dad that WH told you this as he was walking out the door?



This is shocking. This is not support Hoping. You need support from loved ones...not enablers.



It is important for his family to understand that Plan B is to protect you from the unbearable pain of WH actions and that you are open to recovery once he decides to commit to the marriage and his family.

Have you seen this? How to Plan B CORRECTLY

Yes I know his family are enabling him by there actions.

I have read plan b and will ensure that I plan and do it properly.

When I spoke to ow father I told them we are married and that i was pregnant.

He said he would speak to his daughter and that was it.

Now h says her family dont care. Do you really think I should go to there house?

Yes go to their house. It's different when you see the victim in person.

Could they call the police and say in harassing them? This I'm worried about!

The wayward handbook dictates that they must lie, misdirect and cover up so this is not necessarily the truth.

It's prob a bluff to keep you away so he can tell his own version to them.

I'd show up with the baby in my arms to drive home the point, but thats just me

That's what I think I should do! With my daughter I mean.

I am unsure though about that! What about if I go there and the ow is in??

So much the better. She wouldn't have the guts to look in the eyes of the new mother and baby whose lives she is wrecking.

You tell OW that you believe that WH is deceiving her also. You can then hand her a copy of the Plan B letter and you will know that she has received it. Tell her the letter explains everything including why WH can no longer come into the family home and carry on his charade of being a real father...until he decides to go NC with her (OW).