And yes Mr. Drone, you may FEEL like you are expressing it but it may not be inthe way she wants and if you are not getting the 15 hours, then it isn't enough either. That is what i told my hubby.. It wasn't so much that he was doing something wrong.. It was that I needed TIME. He can tell me he loves me all the time and do no love busters, but if he doesn't spend the 15 hours then I won't feel the love.

That was my reaction, too. I would resent being a married woman in some other woman's home. And she may be reluctant to tell her husband this.

Wow, I'm not sure I'm the right guy to talk about a W that won't engage.

I think I was fortunate in that my withdrawal, which may have been a very informal Plan B of sorts (certainly wasn't a planned Plan B), made something change for my W where she suddenly wanted to be engaged.

We're proof that the program works if both parties engage but I'm not sure I can help him help his W to engage. I�ll give it a shot though.

The secret for him will be to entice his W to be open and honest. I believe tired was trying to help him �figure it out�. I think she was asking him to be presumptuous. More than likely that�s not going to work. If he�s anything like me he�s probably clueless to her thoughts. Lol. It�s like trying to find your way in the dark and most times you simply knock stuff off the end table.

He needs her to be radically honest. She needs to state what her concerns are. So, how can he entice her to be more open and honest?

Drone find a way to communicate to your W your need for her to be extremely open and honest with you. Let her know the plans of your reactions to her honesty so she fears no retaliation or pressure from you. Let her know anything you ask of her will be heard and that you won�t try to convince her to think otherwise. Let her know you�re on her side and that you�ll work with her in any way she wants to help her feel safe, comfortable and loved.

Sometimes it�s just learning to say things the right way that registers for them. Always, always, always state positive comments. Just like a child you should never use words like NO, NEVER, DON�T.

I�ll start you off with this:
�Sweetheart. I love it when you�re telling me your feelings. I feel very connected to you when you do. It keeps me from guessing what is wrong and gives me direction on how I can help or simply empathize with you. Please let me know if you feel unsafe to share things with me.�

Feel free to post what you�d like to say to her here. We can help by critiquing it before you give it to her.

BTW. Be prepared and be extremely patient and understanding of your W during her pregnancy. Things may get a little weird from your perspective but just know that with kindness and understanding you will get through this experience and you will be loved even more for the way you were there for her.

Drone, in addition to MrAlias's advice, see if you can encourage her to post here and give her perspective? Would she come here and tell us what is bothering her?