I met my wife 12 years ago, we have been married for 10years, we have 3 childre, boy 11, boy 5, girl 3.
A couple of years into our marriage my wife left me and told me she wasnt in love with me - 6months later she cam back and we have been happy since, until last year on the death of my mum i started to drink and once drunk i verbally abused my wife.
After a couple of months of this, she spoke to me and told me to stop - which i did, we then had 6 months of what i thought was a good relationship again, until apr this year after she went away with her friends she said she didnt love me again but wanted to make our marraige work. We started dating and going to counsling - and i thought all was ok, we were sleeping togther and i didnt see a problem. Then i found out she had rang a solicitor and had been looking for rented houses - this caused arguments as wshe cont to deine it - i then start to drink again.
She then left me, telling me it would be like last time, she wopuld be back within 6months and told our children the same - whom she took with her. I cont to book marriage counsling, but she always had an excuse not to go or spend time with me.
Her parents then abused me telling me to leave her alone --which i couldnt understand as i thought we were fixing our marriage. As they have a spare key to the house - i changed the locks - on my wife returning one day whilst i was at work and finding out - she rang the police and started a divorce there n then. I gave her a key - which she threw at me and she told me she hated me and it was all over...
5 months in and lots of stupid little things ive done since, she is now spending a little time with me and the kids together and tells me she hopes to feel different and she wants her family back together, she can see ive changed but she no longer loves me.The time we spend, means im paying for days out, meals, christmas presents etc - is she using me or could she be telling the truth?
I love her 100% and will do anything to make her happy.
PS i have had counseling and seen my doc - i no longer drink or have a temper, im better with the kids n ive cleaned up my act

When wifes leave they usually are having an affair. You must get past phone records from 6 months before she left you the first time till now to try and find a OM.

You need to get in AA. Every time your life takes a left turn you fall into the bottle. You, as all drunks chose to live in denial that you are an alcoholic. Your drinking has been part of the reason you have chased away your wife.

Get the books Surviving An Affair, and His Needs Her Needs, both by Dr Harley.

Call the Harley's. Steve has been known to give great advice for the BH to get the other spouse to try a counseling session.