make things much harder. Tough as it is now I know it can get worse. I have severe anxiety from this and my nerves are shot. I know that mentally I can't go on w this dishonesty n must start over

Dishonesty? This is more than dishonest. He's putting you at risk.

You say you're going to move on? Well let's hope he doesn't give you something permanent you get to carry with you after you're gone? DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM EVER AGAIN!!!!

You should go get checked immediately just to make sure.

True im scheduling right now.

Sorry for typos. Have no computer or internet, or even a phone. Using the one thing I do have a reader, so no keyboard.

Please read.
Conflict Avoidance is the Kiss of Death

Thank you. I found a lawyer and am seeing him inJan. Seems willing to work w finances for now. So sad right now not feeling well. Hard to keep cheerful for kids when sick n pregnant with baby H cares less about. All he does is lie and I refuse to ask him anything else. Im sure he will want to talk, when he sees Im serious but I wont want to hear it then. Sad things have to end before he is willing to acknoledge me. Its my fault I know but still hurts to be living a phoney existence with a man who never loved me. Still Im trying my best under the circumstances.

Are you going to expose his affair?

Isnt exposure used when attempting to R? BH I really think I need to divorce, Im afraid of the toll this is taking on my health. I do have a question if you could give advice. My husband had affair with his nephews wife years ago. This is the affair that I did expose. The girl and nephew made up and she had a baby but she cheated several more times whoch led to their divorce. Since then nephew has new relationship another baby and has daughter from first marriage alot. He didnt speak to H for a while but now they get along fine. Thing is my daughter now plays with the little girls and about once a month she spends the night at my house. I have nothing against child however it obviously reminds me of the affair H had with her mom. Last night nephew called to ask if we could keep her while he went to xmas party n she spent night.

No, it is used when a spouse has an affair so others will know.

Melody I did expose the affair with niece. The other affairs are numerous some going back many years, I cant possibly prove them at this late time. Even the more recent a I said I hadca break down last year and let ev go, I dont have it in me to dig ev back up, causes such anxiety and I feel I would be dangering myself. Just posting to you, if I glance at my previous posts I startfeeling panicked. I know its crazy but Ive developed a horrible panic disorder and am just starting to feel better.

Did you read about the child spending the night? Am I selfish to feel upset? Again, i have no bad feelings against the child and am very nice to her but her presence makes me depressed. The affair with her mom was years agoand we have no contact with her.

Also, its great my husband can maintain friendship with nephew, n has new life baby with new wife. They didnt speak for a long time after affair. My husband has no male friends so its good for him yet I feel like shaking nephew at times and reminding him that myhusband slept with his ex wife in their home. Is this wrong, it was yrs ago.

As Isaid H has no male friends to which he blames me. Says im controlling. In reality he has none cuz hes always had too many secret female friends. Even when we met he had only one friend really which ended because of H cheating n screwing people over though he reallythinks i dont know. It is in no way my fault he doesnt have friendships beyond coworkers. I have none myself due to centering my world arounfd him.

No you aren't being selfish about the over nights. If you were in recovery then your WH would do EVERYTHING to help you feel safe.

I'm confused as to what plan you're in?

If you won't expose (which is the first step to kill the affair) do you want MB advice?

All the abuse your WH has done to you has done horrible damage to your health.

Do you want advice on getting into Plan B? Expose and a few short days of Plan A and then a dark Plan B?

Lonely, is your husband still living at home? I am a little confused about your situation. Aren't you planning on going into Plan B? Can you bring me up to speed?

Exposing his affairs will make you feel better, not worse. You don't have to go dig up any evidence. Simply tell close family and friends that your husband had many, many affairs over the years and this is why you are splitting up. They should all know he is a sexual predator so they can protect their own marriages.

I would not let the child spend the night. Sure, it is not the child's fault that he/she is a reminder, however, you don't need to be triggered right now. It sounds to me like you are suffering post traumatic stress disorder from staying in such an abusive situation for such a long time. Tell your husband that his abusive behavior has made it impossible for you to be around this child anymore.