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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
If you pulled the plates from her car and stopped the insurance, how is she getting around?
Is the cell phone jammer still in place?
What about changing the locks and packing her stuff and giving her a Plan B letter? She can move in with her mother.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 707
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 707 |
Dr. Harley has been very clear about the fact that Plan A does not apply to the situation you are currently in. You should have switched to Plan B months ago.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60 |
She got her own policy. Her mother gave her the money. She went to DMV yesterday morning. The car was titled in her name, insurance was in both our name. So she didn't need me to sign the title. The jammer works great. It's driving her crazy. I live in NY. I can't legally throw her out. Her name is on the deed to the house. I spoke to a laywer. Unless I accuse her of physical abuse and have her locked up. I have no grounds to make her leave.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
Okay, have you cut her off from all access to your earnings? Moved checking and savings accounts, cancelled all joint credit cards, etc, etc? Cell phone charges are all hers?
Think "scorched earth" desolation my friend. As Sherman said while his forces devastated Georgia: "If a crow were to fly over that country, he'd have to bring his own provender!"
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
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Loosingmylove, I know what it is like to be married to someone who carried on their affair right under your nose. I also live in NY and had the same problem with not being able to get him to leave. And once he did leave, he still came to the marital home and harassed me and the kids. So, I borrowed some money and found myself and my 4 kids a nice house to rent. It wasn't easy and I struggled financially, but it was worth it in order to get into Plan B and be able to keep my WH out of my life.
Is there a way that you could do that? Even for a short term?
Last edited by Rocketqueen; 12/22/12 07:25 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60 |
Credit cards are maxed out and in my name only. She has 1 in her name thats maxed as well. She pays her own cell bill. Theres no money in the joint accounts. I've been paying what bills I can from an account that I opened when I found out about OM. She also doesn't know exactly how much money I make. She pays for her cell bill and food from her part time job.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Credit cards are maxed out and in my name only. She has 1 in her name thats maxed as well. She pays her own cell bill. Theres no money in the joint accounts. I've been paying what bills I can from an account that I opened when I found out about OM. She also doesn't know exactly how much money I make. She pays for her cell bill and food from her part time job. Can you and the kids move out and rent?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 60 |
Unfortunately no. I've got money saved but I can't afford to pay the house bills and another rent. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If anyone has any ideas that I can make work. I'm open to sugestions. Anything that I can think of is limited.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 357
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 357 |
Can you call a credit counseling agency to get help with paying your bills ? I have heard Dave Ramsey (Financial Peace) talk about how the agency works with your creditors directly, oft times being able to forgive some of your debt and get things under control. This may be able to get you on better footing financially and open up your options a bit.
me: FWW/BW
Married 20 years, 4 kids
We made it.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
Good job on the finances so far.
Are you ready to play SERIOUS hard-ball with Skanky? Contact a broker and list your house for sale - or at least start the process, letting WW know that your plan is not to support her living arrangements while she's in an affair with another man. At the same time, start researching those potential rental opportunities mentioned earlier.
Give this a bit of time to work, and if it fails, it's time to lawyer up.
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