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Jedi you are a spiritual man, and I thought I was too, when in reality I was protecting her from herself, and in the end, her own demons got her anyways.
You cannot be Christ for her, you will only be crucified, as yet again he is crucified again. Just like in Hebrews
This is between her and God, and you only have a small part.
Do not protect her, call out her drinking and make her accountable.
Do it for your children, and do not expect to be appreciated, many addicts do not even see what they do.
I am sure you are learning this in AA, and as you sift through the material, you will come to this realization.
Do it because it is what has to be done, at this time and place brother.
That is all you need to understand, what is going on now, not what could be, should be, or what you might deserve..
What is going on now has to be dealt with
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She doesn't drive.
The only time the kids see grandma is when I allow it.
So far we visit her once a week either at burger king indoor play park or we pick her up and let her go skating with us.
I am always with the kids.
So far it hasn't been bad.
It was 3 weeks ago she smelled like booze.
She has no legal right to see them.
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Te grandmother has been disowned by one of her 3 daughters because of severe neglect as a child.
But when she is with us under controlled situations they seem to have fun
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I am contemplating moving near my ex wife's sisters house because their family is close to my kids. Hey JK, glad to read that things are working out well for you guys. Can you (legally) move out of state with the kids?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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In my county, the Friend of the Court Handbook states that a parent can deny visitation if the other parent is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I would secure a copy of this document, as well as any other Friend of the Court documentation from your state and particular county. Within these documents the court outlines what is allowed, not allowed, etc.
I have also had trouble with my exWW attempting to damage my relationship with my DD8. Thankfully, I have been very close with my DD8, and she regularly tells me stories about how mom punished her because I don't pay enough money, or because I ruined christmas because I wanted visitation.
I found that honesty with my daughter was the best policy. I show her that I only want the best for her, and the court make the determinations, not me.
Me DH33
Her DW33
DS3
Divorced WxW38 7/09
DD9
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I am contemplating moving near my ex wife's sisters house because their family is close to my kids. Hey JK, glad to read that things are working out well for you guys. Can you (legally) move out of state with the kids? I am required to provide 60 day notice to the court and ex wife ; she or the court can request a hearing. I have emailed my attorney for guidance
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Emails receive from ex ww:
Needing info. On childrens health... Is everyone feeling better?
Email 2:
Also ned to know when thier next couseling apointments are. Please send dates and times for each.
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This is my proposed response to email 2:
In an effort to more efficiently share important child event dates such as doctor appointments, school events, vacations, etc I have created an online calendar.
You should have received an email from Google with instructions on how to access this calendar online.
Thank you
Any thoughts?
Also no response to email 1 because I don't know what she is talking about "feeling better". We visited her 2 sisters on Christmas school break and the kids are fine.
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Oh and when we visited the SIL over Christmas break she did comment that all is not happy in Affair Land.
Apparently ex ww and POSOM are beginning. To have arguments.
LOL
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What irritates me about email 2 is that she is convinced the kids need intensive therapy when they don't.
I also wonder why she wants the dates and times
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This is my proposed response to email 2:
In an effort to more efficiently share important child event dates such as doctor appointments, school events, vacations, etc I have created an online calendar.
You should have received an email from Google with instructions on how to access this calendar online.
Thank you
Any thoughts? It's still the same online calendar that she's always had access to, right?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Then rinse and repeat seems appropriate.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Okay. I rinsed and repeated. Email response has been sent
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Yes, I do! For my daughter I bought The Care and Keeping of You http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661I gave it to her when she was 9. It is a GREAT book that explains about bras and how their breasts develop, about shaving how and when to do it, about their period and pads and tampons, etc. It has opened up tons of dialogue with us. She is now 10 and is turning 11 shortly after Christmas. I bought Family Life today's Passport to Purity along with the project pack. http://www.familylife.com/find-help/key-resources/passport2purity The idea is that you take your preteen child for a special weekend with you. There is a travel journal for her. There are Cd's that you listen to and assignments she will complete or you will do together. You are also supposed to do some kind of fun activity that she enjoys for the weekend like the zoo or amusement park or sports game. ( Or he, I will say she because I am doing it with my daughter) You also take your child on a date. I hope that helps. I bought the Care and Keeping of You and it arrived from Amazon this week. My daughter has read it through 3 times so far! She loves it and said it answered a lot of the questions she had!
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Email response from ex ww:
This is understood Completely. I have visited the calendar and see nothing scheduled as far as the counseling apointments
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Email response from ex ww:
This is understood Completely. I have visited the calendar and see nothing scheduled as far as the counseling apointments Are they on the calendar?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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...or do the appointments even exist?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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There is no current appt
Therapist only wants to see them one
More time and hasn't scheduled it yet.
Her sisters sai she wants custody back. Could these emails have something to do with that?
I'm also going to cut off the MIL.
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Her sisters sai she wants custody back. Could these emails have something to do with that? Well, I want a million bucks but it probably isn't going to happen unless I do some things on my end first. Same with your ex, and she has a lousy track record of doing anything that will further her role as a mother. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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