Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 42 of 42 1 2 40 41 42
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
It is gratifying that things settled so well in your favor, LM. As WW continues her descent into the various vices she has selected to pursue, your boys will retain their grounding in honor and integrity, staying with you.

I hope you can post more often, friend. Your advice would be very pertinent to some posters currently going through situations paralleling your history.

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Why do you make them go?


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
Karmarose, I make them go because right now its the law. That sucks but its basically how my lawyer put it. If WW decides not to take them because of their attitudes, so be it and they can stay with me. But on my end, they are to young to have a say in the matter and i have to encourage them to go. I dont get the screwed up system, but if im caught not promoting the parenting time to their mom, im the bad guy in the eyes of the court. Its all stupid.

Neverguessed, this site has been great for me in dealing with WW and all the trouble she has made. For me to post and give advice may not be the best of things. My WW has really put things in perspective on unfaithful partners and as bad as she has been, i dont see hope in any restorations. I know it happens, but i cannot fathom at this point dealing with that stress. Im actually happy she is gone now. As Time goes on. So much truth of who she was has come out. So much deception my whole marriage and to all the family. I may try to post as i can. I feel i can add some things. I have tried to steer several friends here.


Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
Tranquildark, i am trying to be the best dad i can! The last few months have been very difficult for me. Court was finally done in november and my patience have been gone! im finally coming back around and the stress of all that is finally over. My boys know that im there backbone and security. They have told me many times that they know i will never leave them like there mom. That is not taken lightly by me! That is pretty deep for children to comprehend and actually tell me and others. They are my first priority! Dating i would like to make a priority, however im afraid that there isnt time in my life for that. And meeting people for me is hard with the lack of time.


Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
I'm in a similar situation.
Settled out of court.
She lives with OM and has weekly supervised visitation.
Minor children have no contact with OM.
I have 3 kids

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Why don't you start a thread in the Divorce section?

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
Jedi, I did at one time. There is one in there somewhere but it never got the traffic and if i remember correctly, i was updating both posts and this one was the only won that got any attention.


Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I'm in a similar situation.
Settled out of court.
She lives with OM and has weekly supervised visitation.
Minor children have no contact with OM.
I have 3 kids


thats how mine started out. Then WW started testing the water with me and taking kids around OM when she knew she shouldnt. That just caused fights. Once she messed up with attempted suicide, I hired my own lawyer and got serious quick. Except for the first few days, Things have been so much better since then.


Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Lostman,

Thanks for the update. It sounds as though life is much improved for you and your boys. I am glad. I remember your story well.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by armymama
Lostman,

Thanks for the update. It sounds as though life is much improved for you and your boys. I am glad. I remember your story well.

AM
Me too.

So glad to see you've come out on the other side and have your boys full time. smile


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 393
Thanks everyone! I have become used to being single and quite honestly enjoy it. I understand now how people stay single...They dont have someone else to put up with!

I have my moments tho.

Right now im just focused on remodeling my house, taking care of the boys, and trying like crazy to figure out how to pay off some debt. That keeps me well occupied!

To all that are going through similar situations, Be strong and hold on to doing the right things. I know its difficult, especially when you have a WW that can be as bad as they want and get away with it. That is maddening! Seems like the one time i mess up, everyone looks at me as WTH, but with WW its just acceptable. That was about to drive me over the top! Ive learned Time will take care of all things and usually will things will work themselves out if you can be patient.

As for the law, i caution all to be careful what you say to your kids. I am all for telling them the truth and I did. The law doesnt see things quite the same as me and i did get my hands slapped for that. Do not put down the WS, which i did not. just a few tips for you.


Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
Page 42 of 42 1 2 40 41 42

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5