I know how you feel. This has been the most painful for me. Seeing other families together - mother, father, kids. Having nice time, being together, caring for each other, helping each other. Missing that was the hardest for me.
But time does heal and you will feel better about it. It does not pain that much any more for me. And the kids are fine, they adjust to everything much better than us. It will get better.

Finish the exposure, go to plan B and start taking care of yourself and your kid. Forget about him. If he ever comes around you will think if you still want to be with him and what he will need to do to win his family back.
And taking care and pampering yourself is essential for your healing process. Do stuff for you. Leave the baby to some relatives or friends for few hours and go out with friends. Have some nice time, do stuff that make you feel good, see that the world out there is nice and waiting for you.

Thank u very much. It only in this forum that I find support.
I ok, 3 months had past. I also believe time will heal. Now my goal is to get financially stable. Watching my gal to grow up and letting go of the past.

Livensi, are u still in plan b?

She is in Plan D and is planning to go to a dark Plan B after the D.

Do u still wan ur husband back? It seems that ur husband is eating the cake (maintaining the married status and the ow as while)

May I ask plan b, what is the purpose of avoid contact eg cannot see other?

Read here. What are Plan A and Plan B?

If it never goin to end, and the love between ow and Bs grew.
That means plan a exposure had fail is it?

My BS had not get back on me on the exposure I made so far.
I think the exposure had no effect on them.

You have no idea what the exposure effect is.
That is okay.

You put the truth out there and it is the right thing.

Exposure never fails. The affair team might not say 'uncle' and end their affair but they can't continue in secret any more. They have to be out there for real to give it a go.

The love didn't grow and it isn't growing. They are trying to convince each other they are meant for each other but it doesn't make it so.

Anyway.

If your wayward H does get back to you after exposure you need to expect he will be extra nasty and try to hurt your feelings and intimidate you. That is to be expected.

Do not react. DO NOT REACT.

Now..........go find something delightful to do with your gal. Take a walk. Go to a friend or family member's place for a visit...

Have a good start to this New Year!

Thanks.
I guess the principal haven take action on ow yet. WH nv act nasty to me. They are now basking in the love potion.
I feel disgusted by them.

I felt like giving up for this marriage. No point to think about this marriage anymore.
I just throw away all my wedding photos an family photos.

What happened?

Are you in Plan B yet?

The principal just reply me, she said that she had clarified with ow and ow expressed regrets for her action and knows are wrong.

Most probably, ow told another story to the principal.


He use despicable method to check all my messages. Really regret marrying him.
How come I can be with this guy 14 years.

I am giving up this marriage.

It sounds like your love bank is extremely low. The only thing I can suggest is to get into a dark plan B. Have you written your plan B letter yet? Can you post it here for us to look at?

No, I didn't write plan b letter. I feel that he is hopeless. He threaten my brother and sis in law, he say he will not let them off.
I am giving up in this marriage, will fight against him of obtaining the guardianship of my child.

I will write a complaint letter to the authority to deal with ow.

I know you're hurting and upset, but if you follow the plans then you will have a peace of mind knowing you tried everything to save your M.

Write the Plan B letter and get an IM.

Use this How to Plan B Correctly and it has Plan B letter samples.

Hi Amazingpiggy, yes my WH is still with OW and I am going to divorce him after 2 years of his affair - plan D. And yes, I believe I will always want him back. But only if I see the change him - the true remorse and the willingness to work and do anything for our marriage. I don't believe that will happen though.

I think you need to read about the plans and fully understand them. Right now your emotions are all over the place. Plan B is for you - to give you peace and let you heal. Not to fight for your marriage. You need out of the drama and concentrate on you. Plan B will help you concentrate on your future life and not on your WH.
If divorce will protect you and your kid go for it, but I think you need to enter plan B ASAP.

I am letting go this marriage, letting go of him. Hopeless to salvage.

Repeated for emphasis. See an attorney if you don't already have one. We can't keep repeating the same things over and over to you if you will not take advice.

I wish you and your little girl the best!

~RQ

We already have a lawyer representing each of us.
The reason I not writing the letter is because he submitted a letter that I have written before d day to the judge as supporting. Not sure why he submitted that. But he is using everything to fight against me.
Before d day I thought I am the main one that cause the breakdown of the marriage so I wrote this sorry letter to apologies him that I neglect him during pregnancy time etc. tell him I love him blah blah.
But I didn't expect he had affair already

I guess he submitted that letter to tell the judge that I am the one that cause him to have affair.
I not writing anything to him again. He will use that against me

I thinking of whether to write a letter to his boss because he make threatening message against my brother and sister in law.

What did he say? Would it be better to go to your lawyer or the police?

I also don't understand how a Plan B letter could be used against you in court? How would any judge see it as doing any harm?