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sally6 #2695282 01/05/13 10:22 AM
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Plan:
Sorted out things ill need n kids n left them at mums
made copies of all important documents left them at mums too
have opened an account using mums address
i always have mobile on me
Hidden car key spare one

sally6 #2695284 01/05/13 10:30 AM
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Need to do:
Get bolts for doors
get new locks for doors
make appointment with solicitor,to protect properties n aacounts from disappearring

sally6 #2695286 01/05/13 10:32 AM
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LR
can u help me
is there anything ive missed out that needs to be done

sally6 #2695309 01/05/13 11:27 AM
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I'm not LR, but can I chime in?

In whose name is the vehicle you usually use titled? If in his, and you can (carefully) wrangle it, have him sign it over to you that day.

If WH comes home unexpectedly a day early, what would be your response?

Get a mini audio-recorder and have it with you and "on" when you and he are together, even if witnesses are present.

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Do you have a garage door? If so, change the lock to it as well or the garage door opener coding. Also, it might be a good idea to have a sliding lock that you can lock from the inside of the garage.

Do you have a joint checking or savings account? Withdrawal 1/2 and put in yours. Do take a print off of the account balances prior to doing this.

Is there an alarm system in your home? Change the code on that.

Mail. It would be wise to open up a PO Box and have your mail delivered there.

Secure yours and your childrens birth certificates, passports, and social security cards (if applicable where your live). Secure vehicle titles as well, especially if they are in your name.

Take photocopies of all insurance policies, retirement funds, stocks, bonds etc and secure them elsewhere.

Get a credit card in your name only. Also, get a copy of the most recent credit card(s) statement.

That is what I can think of at the moment.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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NG n LR
thanku both i appreciate ur help
ive just done car papers its on my name
ive got recording app on my mobile.ive got plenty of his outbursts already on there.
Theres no way hes gonna be back early.hes got important meetings .ive checked already before he went.

sally6 #2695359 01/05/13 01:49 PM
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ive got recording app on my mobile

Okay, as long as it's easy to switch on surreptitiously, and easily concealed.

Theres no way hes gonna be back early...ive checked already before he went.

Good pro-active action. But meetings get cancelled, so stay on your toes.

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Just another side thought. It might not be a bad idea to put in some interior (and may exterior) wireless cameras. Just as an extra security/evidence for yourself. For instance if he was to physically assault you again, you would have evidence. There are several different models available that are very reasonably priced.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Thats a good idea.ill check now n get it done before he gets back.did i mention he has bugged my phone ,car,three rooms in the house .he says im havin an affair.its like he wants me to tell him that im havin an affair.!!!!

sally6 #2696136 01/08/13 09:29 AM
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How are things going Sally?


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Okay thanks.still sticking to the plan even though certain family members are agaist it as this will tarnish them too.got an earful from sister.as my decision will leave the whole family a bad name.
Basically,ive gone along with these lot as i knew no diferent.
Im wrong in their eyes to take this step.
Not feeling too great now,but ive got no choice but to do whats best for me and my kids.

sally6 #2696398 01/08/13 08:10 PM
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But they all hate him.
Hes this n that etc and they want me to still say.
Yet they know my reasons n they still wont help me to solve this.they r all talk.it. Is pride n status that matters more than anything else.everyones thinking about themselves here and not about me!!

sally6 #2696399 01/08/13 08:12 PM
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So they are more concerned with the "family name" verses your physical safety. Now stand back and look at that again. It is ok for your husband to assault you, verbally abuse you as long as the family name is untarnished?

The only eyes you need to worry about are those that look to you for safety and the ones looking back at you in the mirror. If your family is not going to support you, there are plenty of people that will.

Praying for you and your children.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
sally6 #2696516 01/09/13 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by sally6
Not feeling too great now,but ive got no choice but to do whats best for me and my kids.

Sally I know this is hard and can get you down. Keep your head up. You have lots of good reasons to do so.

Despite the toxic people around you you are taking steps to protect yourself and your children. On top of that you are delivering a proper message to your kids so they do not repeat this process in their lives.

I hope you can see that and I hope you take some pride in yourself and I hope you feel the energy of being liberated from this terrible burden.

Hold your head high Sally. You deserve it.

If no one cares to find empathy for you and support you then it's high time you found a new support system. If you feel all alone I suspect the women�s shelter would be able to help you with that. I�m sure their #1 objective will be to support you and guide you.

Good job sticking to your guns with your family. When your H comes home I�m sure we�ll see more of the same.


Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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You bet.hes acting all nice n sweet.hes bought me an expensive present he said.as if thats gonna change my mind.not

sally6 #2698019 01/13/13 08:45 PM
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How are things going Sally? How are your plans moving along? What steps have you done and have yet to do? Do you have any questions?


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Hi LR.the doors are sorted.ive spoken to the solicitor about assets .shes started the process on her side.so all on track!!
Just waitin for H to return .....

sally6 #2698086 01/14/13 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by sally6
Hi LR.the doors are sorted.ive spoken to the solicitor about assets .shes started the process on her side.so all on track!!
Just waitin for H to return .....
Glad to hear that Sally.

Have you written a Plan B with your conditions?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Yes i have
if he leaves the house then we stay ut
if not then im going to leave with kids.the solicitor is helping me with money issues at the moment .im going to get a place for myself.
Im looking at properties at the moment.

sally6 #2698208 01/14/13 02:25 PM
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H will beable to see the kids.but only by letting me know beforehand.

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