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Joined: Jan 2013
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I am currently engaged to be re-married and was asked by my fiancee to submit to a polygraph test to attest to my relationship fidelity going back to my first marriage 20 years ago . During the initial test I was asked if I had had sexual contact since 1992 with the exception ofand came up as "decept indicated". Following this test I admitted to have had a lap dance at a strip club during my first marriage. My fiancee wasked me to take another polygraph going back to when we became involved in an exclusive sexual relationship. I scored "deception indicated" on this polygraph too, despite the fact that I have not had sexual contact with another person during this period. Any ideas how I can begin rebuilding trust since my fiancess is convinced that I had an affair?
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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What led to being asked to take a polygraph to begin with?
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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Joined: Sep 2008
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I am currently engaged to be re-married and was asked by my fiancee to submit to a polygraph test to attest to my relationship fidelity going back to my first marriage 20 years ago . During the initial test I was asked if I had had sexual contact since 1992 with the exception ofand came up as "decept indicated". Following this test I admitted to have had a lap dance at a strip club during my first marriage. My fiancee wasked me to take another polygraph going back to when we became involved in an exclusive sexual relationship. I scored "deception indicated" on this polygraph too, despite the fact that I have not had sexual contact with another person during this period. Any ideas how I can begin rebuilding trust since my fiancess is convinced that I had an affair? Welcome to MB, bdh. I recommend that in order to rebuild trust, you pass a polygraph.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 6
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My fiancee became concerned after I updated offline (but did not post) my match.com profile.
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Joined: Jan 2013
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Thanks for the advise. I have been told that polygraphs get less reliable with subsequent tests and they are expensive $575 a pop.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6
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Can your fiancee talk with your ex-wife?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2012
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Are you really "comfortable" to get married still?
I would not put up with this kind of requests from a fiancee.
Marriage is way to serious lasting commitment to begin with..if I was both of you I would take my time to really really think about if was ready to get married to "you".
What are you going to do?
Married/97.
No kids.
husband addictions
Separated/06
husband affair
Divorce/07.
back dating/12.
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Joined: Jun 2008
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My fiancee became concerned after I updated offline (but did not post) my match.com profile. Why would you even have a match account if you are engaged?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Try to rebuild my relationship with my fiancee
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I do not have a match.com account. I was updating my match profile offline because I was very nervous that my fiancee was going to leave me.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I do not have a match.com account. I was updating my match profile offline because I was very nervous that my fiancee was going to leave me. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2008
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I do not have a match.com account. I was updating my match profile offline because I was very nervous that my fiancee was going to leave me.  Deception Indicated... You have a match profile but not an acct...okey dokey.
Last edited by black_raven; 01/08/13 10:22 PM.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
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I am currently engaged to be re-married and was asked by my fiancee to submit to a polygraph test to attest to my relationship fidelity going back to my first marriage 20 years ago . During the initial test I was asked if I had had sexual contact since 1992 with the exception ofand came up as "decept indicated". Following this test I admitted to have had a lap dance at a strip club during my first marriage. My fiancee wasked me to take another polygraph going back to when we became involved in an exclusive sexual relationship. I scored "deception indicated" on this polygraph too, despite the fact that I have not had sexual contact with another person during this period. Any ideas how I can begin rebuilding trust since my fiancess is convinced that I had an affair? Have you read about radical honesty on this website. It may answer some of your questions from an MB perspective if you familiarize yourself with some of these basic concepts. How about extraordinary precautions? My wife and I are trying a new diet. there is a discussion board for that. i started to tell her how I was posting a question. She asked me not to and requested we do it together. suddenly me finding out information about a new diet was independent behavior. Guess what? that's cool. she's (and her feelings) more important to me than the website or the diet. --point: MB puts things in a different light. Do you know about extraordinary precautions? You can't prove you didn't have an affair, IMV. But you should not get married until she feels safe. MB/Dr. H has ways to assist you in helping her feel safe. opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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