I read and reread your post. I beat myself up daily for putting myself in this situation because my goodness I should have known better. Part of the reason I have held on so long is just not wanting a divorce, not wanting to admit failure. 3 months into our marriage I tried explaining to him how wrong the whole situation was, he stared blankly at me. And now all Im left with is the thoughts of "I wish I would have ran from him." The fact that I didn't scares me.

There are costs to one's past poor decisions, and among those is the emotion of "regret". Unfortunately, that brings with it self-doubt.

However that emotion, with its partner, should not prevent you from firmly making better decisions today. Acknowledge the error, learn from it, commit to never repeating it, and correct it.

Move on to a better life, kiddo.

Awesome posts from Pepperband! Wow.. just WOW.

This is a common problem for young women.

Think about dating as if you were looking at a car to buy.
If you really want a jeep, do not go looking at mini-vans (or visa versa).
Once you figure out you want a jeep and not a mini van, you begin taking test drives. You ask a million questions.
If the test drive shows you that the jeep wobbles a lot, smoke is spewing from the exhaust, and there is a really funny smell in the carpet .... You ask if that car has been in a flood.
You do not buy the jeep thinking you will fix it later.

And, after asking a million questions, you begin negotiations. You find out what the value is, what the costs will be, if it will be reliable and serve your needs.

Today, write down the qualities you require (not need) in a husband.

Let me get your list started:
1. Faithfulness
2. Honesty
3. Trustworthiness

...... build from there.

I think you have a good case for annulment. Find out.

Keep this one handy .....

Nice advice!

Awesome awesome posts, Pepperband.

hugs to you, ReallyUpset ((((( ReallyUpset )))))