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I am trying to find where Dr.Harley say it is a good idea to go to many, many dates..which book he said that? I tried search without success..I already heard Dr.Henry Cloud suggesting the same thing..both are psychologists, they might know what they are talking about and why.
I do agree anyways because I am a firm believer we must go to many dates with many different people, maintain things light, fun, as we are getting to know so many people. Until we get to make our choices among a lot of people to choose from is great.
thanks for helping out!
Married/97.
No kids.
husband addictions
Separated/06
husband affair
Divorce/07.
back dating/12.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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While my basic concepts would help you resolve your conflicts if you were to follow them, I am not sure that you're ready to make a decision now that would affect the rest of your life. My standard advice to singles is to date at least 30 people before marriage. Strange advice to some, because, like you, they may have already chosen the one they wanted to marry. But the reason I give that advice is so they come to understand what they need most in an opposite sex relationship. The ones that they find most attractive are those who meet some of their most important emotional needs.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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That advice might also be in "I Promise You."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2012
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Thank you very much Melodylane!
"But the reason I give that advice is so they come to understand what they need most in an opposite sex relationship. The ones that they find most attractive are those who meet some of their most important emotional needs."
Married/97.
No kids.
husband addictions
Separated/06
husband affair
Divorce/07.
back dating/12.
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 280
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 280 |
Maybe I can help on this one...
I attract and meet loads of new people, if I want it or not.
True, most of them are batsh!t crazy; but that is not the point.
Its like taking photographs: if you take 30 pictures from a model or landscape, there are going to be 3 photographs that are very nice, although you have no clue what exactly did the trick.
- GO OUT! Gyms, swimming pools, bars, nightclubs, park, coffee shops, after work parties, ...
- Go out by yourself! Do not bring friends or family.
- This means Getting out of your comfort-zone and start observing strangers.
- Make eye-contact. it signals openness.
- Be happy, smile & greet people: waiters, clerks, cassiers, strangers. It signals openness.
- If you make eye-contact multiiple times with the guy that is drinking his coffee alone and he does the same to you; he is going to get up and greet you.
- I very much like dancing, I enjoy music & can be perfectly happy dancing by myself. People notice, make eye contact and women approach me directly.
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 29
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 29 |
Maybe I can help on this one...
I attract and meet loads of new people, if I want it or not.
True, most of them are batsh!t crazy; but that is not the point.
Its like taking photographs: if you take 30 pictures from a model or landscape, there are going to be 3 photographs that are very nice, although you have no clue what exactly did the trick.
- GO OUT! Gyms, swimming pools, bars, nightclubs, park, coffee shops, after work parties, ...
- Go out by yourself! Do not bring friends or family.
- This means Getting out of your comfort-zone and start observing strangers.
- Make eye-contact. it signals openness.
- Be happy, smile & greet people: waiters, clerks, cassiers, strangers. It signals openness.
- If you make eye-contact multiiple times with the guy that is drinking his coffee alone and he does the same to you; he is going to get up and greet you.
- I very much like dancing, I enjoy music & can be perfectly happy dancing by myself. People notice, make eye contact and women approach me directly. thanks, great ideas. I enjoy selecting my dates at dating sites, I really find those very practical. You get to see so many pictures, much information in advance, get to meet up many people otherwise you would not have opportunity to. I go to church but did not or do not plan to belong to any singles groups inside church, I do not like those. I enjoy to belong to prayer groups at church. I never knew I would like internet introduction stuff but I really do. I am a people person, friendly but I am kind of picky.
Married/97.
No kids.
husband addictions
Separated/06
husband affair
Divorce/07.
back dating/12.
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
just remember that there are many good men that dont use internet dating sites.
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