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No need to be sorry for ranting. Ranting is the purpose of the rant thread.
AM Very true, and glad it's here. Needed to blow that steam off. Seriously can't believe what I am seeing from my so called family. Pitiful. This is kind of funny though. I was making a grocery list for Christmas day, and DM asked me why I was doing that. Of course, I had already explained that more than a few times, but had to again. Last night her response was, "Well, they have their lives and families and I understand that". Today's 2 responses were... Well, honey, did you really expect any differently from them?and..... Well, eff them then.This from a 75 year old bible toting woman from the Deep South. Nothing funny about Alzheimer's, but it does have it epic moments. My Dad was sole caregiver for 5 years before we made the difficult decision to admit her. She's now in my city so that he doesn't have to worry. It's been incredibly hard. If you ever had occasion to doubt your father's love for your mother, you can lay those doubts to rest. He has my utmost respect. God bless you both!
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Being a family caregiver is tough business. You don't have staff on hand to back you up. Your shift never ends. And, you are far more emotionally invested.
It ain't easy as a professional, but its exhausting as a family member.
Chun up.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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My Dad was sole caregiver for 5 years before we made the difficult decision to admit her. She's now in my city so that he doesn't have to worry. It's been incredibly hard. If you ever had occasion to doubt your father's love for your mother, you can lay those doubts to rest. He has my utmost respect. God bless you both! Thank you Viper. What's interesting is that they did not really have a happy marriage - lots of LBs. But his devotion to her in her time of need has been breathtaking. I know he feels very guilty and in fact it is difficult for him to see her in the home so we take it very slow. I just packed him off on a 6-week trip to OZ to see relatives with whom he's very close. He has landed by now and, I hope, will be able to enjoy himself. Your Mom is hilarious!!!
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Being a family caregiver is tough business. You don't have staff on hand to back you up. Your shift never ends. And, you are far more emotionally invested.
It ain't easy as a professional, but its exhausting as a family member.
Chun up. Spoken like a man that's BTDT. It is exhausting and extremely frustrating, but at least when it's all over I'll be able to look in the mirror and know I did all I could. I doubt they'll ever be able to make that claim. Plan B for the brothers when it's done. Sad to think about, but I don't see how I could ever muster the strength to forgive this. Thank you for taking the time to respond, TripleH Thank you Viper. What's interesting is that they did not really have a happy marriage - lots of LBs. But his devotion to her in her time of need has been breathtaking. I know he feels very guilty and in fact it is difficult for him to see her in the home so we take it very slow. I just packed him off on a 6-week trip to OZ to see relatives with whom he's very close. He has landed by now and, I hope, will be able to enjoy himself.
Your Mom is hilarious!!! One thing I've learned from my time here is that not so happy marriages doesn't necessarily mean a loveless marriage. Sometimes couples just don't know how to express the love that they truly do have for one another. One of the many, MANY reasons I love the MB concepts so much is that it shows you how to do just that....even to stubborn dumbasses like me. Oh well, better late than never I suppose. LOL Hope your Dad has a wonderful time on his trip. God knows he's earned it. Oh, I will have no objections if you want to send me on a similar jaunt when my little task is completed! Yeah, DM can be a hoot at times. I need to see if one of my friends has the pork chop story saved. I lost it when my last computer bit the dust. It began as just a severe frustration rant, but the replies I got indicated it was a bit more than that. After looking at it as an anecdote, and not for what it was intended, it was pretty damned funny.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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No BTDT here. I am on the professional end. 4 years in assisted living, and just coming up on 1 year in long term skilled nursing/rehab (won rookie of the year, woohoo!).
We had a lot of early and mid-progression dementia at the AL facility I worked at, and had a memory-care unit on campus.
There is a nice video on alzheimer's and dementia from one of the majors where they designed a simulation for caregivers and family members to get an idea what their family members are going through based on reports from patients, and they recently did a run of it here for the staff. Eye-opening stuff.
The funny thing is, when I began my journey I swore up and down I wouldn't get "stuck" in elder care, and now I can't see doing anything else. Amazing. Not easy, but amazing.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Thank you, HHH, for the work that you do. Viper, we'll talk later.
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A BW who is D(for 10 freaking years) from her WXH and he is now remarried and you allow for the WXH to call and text about the "problems" in his new marriage and how he still loves you, on his wedding night. You refuse to break contact and send the new wife the texts and emails. YOU ARE NOW THE OW!!!!!!!
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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...you allow for the WXH to call and text about the "problems" in his new marriage and how he still loves you, on his wedding night.
Oooooooooookay!
The Kardashians? Season three of Downton Abbey? An updated version of A Christmas Carol?
Did I fall asleep during the second act of this melodrama? I can't even tell the players.....and I HAVE the scorecard!
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...you allow for the WXH to call and text about the "problems" in his new marriage and how he still loves you, on his wedding night.
Oooooooooookay!
The Kardashians? Season three of Downton Abbey? An updated version of A Christmas Carol?
Did I fall asleep during the second act of this melodrama? I can't even tell the players.....and I HAVE the scorecard! Have you visited the Divorced/Divorcing board recently?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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It is awful, just excuses excuses excuses. Pep should stop by there.
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It is awful, just excuses excuses excuses. Pep should stop by there. I know, right. I was hoping Mel OR Pep would stop by. She needs the big guns.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I did have a post all written out and made the mistake of going back and reading some older posts. I discovered the WOMAN IS 54 YEARS OLD, PEOPLE. That is old enough to know better. If you don't have any sense by then, you will never have any sense.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did have a post all written out and made the mistake of going back and reading some older posts. I discovered the WOMAN IS 54 YEARS OLD, PEOPLE. That is old enough to know better. If you don't have any sense by then, you will never have any sense. Very true, very true.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Rant on:
Pastors who tell people to "forgive and forget" when the situation is toxic.
AM
BW - 70 WH - 65 M - 35 years D-day - 17 Apr 08 H broke contact 11/1/09 Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Rant on:
Pastors who tell people to "forgive and forget" when the situation is toxic.
AM Amen. They must have missed the part about having no association with evil.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OK. Here's another one. Pastors who don't even use the word evil, let alone tell someone that their behavior is unacceptable and/or evil. Pastors who never look people in the eye and say, "Stop".
AM
BW - 70 WH - 65 M - 35 years D-day - 17 Apr 08 H broke contact 11/1/09 Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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How about pastors that tell the spouses to separate!? So they can have time to think when one of the spouses is having an affair?
MNG
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I am always amazed at how submissive betrayed husbands are when there wayward wives spit a few bullets.
BW - 70 WH - 65 M - 35 years D-day - 17 Apr 08 H broke contact 11/1/09 Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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I am always amazed at how submissive betrayed husbands are when there wayward wives spit a few bullets. My pet peeve is people who sit back and do nothing to help themselves. It frustrates me to no end.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BH's that roll over on child custody and think the WW will love and care for the children.
Last edited by New_Path; 01/10/13 08:55 PM.
Aka S2
I know what's next. I filed for D. Original betrayal and two FR's in one year. I'm done.
A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.
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