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And who is the best judge of how much time is needed? I think most people have poor instincts about such things, don't you?
Oh definatly Mel, specially in shock.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
Thank you so very much for lifting us from the error of our ways. lol
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Maybe we need to import some farm animals here to the suburbs...
We have our horses in the city limits of a large city in Ohio that is a suburb of Cleveland.
The neighbors are either amazed or not enthused.
Me: 30 Him: 39 Together 5 years Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman. 7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
Pre-coffee mini-rant: When analogies & parables that are supposed to make it easier to understand a point than plain English, instead go over my head.
Maybe we need to import some farm animals here to the suburbs...
don't feel alone...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Lol. well the cow & bull thing went over my head when I was younger too..
It wasn't till I saw how important sex was to me that I saw the humor...yeah me man..sex important..yeah Ug.
But it was the confidence that was my problem, not the sex..sex is a no brainer..has to be..for the propagation of our species.
You wouldn't want an egghead to figure out sex now would ya?
We could make it a law of course, but nah, that wont work, they got pills for that anyways..Or maybe some kind of birth control method..umm they aren't reliable..
Of course common sense will work, but then where is the romance?
See there is always a reason and an excuse..
But God tells us sex is for procreation and life is preciuos..even the best of us cant keep that straight and figure that .."IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, QUIT YUR GRINNIN AND DROP YUR LINEN!"
or something much more romantic and subtle...depends on the mood at the time..
and then we are telling God he has to take care of us cuz its HIS? fault..What a mess huh?
No wonder so many people come here so mixed up and confused..
For anyone requiring more analogy to understand Pep's point; I have 3 weeks of vacation to burn in the next 2 months, and I will gladly come to your home and apply pain and pressure to your most sensitive bits while teaching you defensive driving strategies... there will be a test after.
Plan B complaint...when it is also Plan D, it is very different than a solo Plan B. Going into a dark plan B too soon, smells of conflict avoidance by the BS to me. There are some legal aspects that should be ironed out ASAP but going 100% dark from the get go is not a good idea IMO. The legal disadvantage a BS puts themselves in concerns me GREATLY. Unless you're Rockerfeller and can pay an attorney $300/hr to handle every single communication with a stbxWS, I don't think not knowing about certain things or incurring legal expenses up the wahzoo is helpful to the BS.
You make an interesting point. Something I have never considered! I am now wondering if . . . . . . . . I should go to law school.
And who is the best judge of how much time is needed?
It's not a time unit I am talking about. My thinking is ..... whatever unit of time it takes to get the new BS prepared for battle. Sometimes it's a day or 2. Occasionally longer. The more the BS answers our questions and reads the links we offer, the quicker they become prepared. I am not arguing against speed. I want to make myself clear. I am arguing for preparedness.
Remember, I really care NOT about quickness, but preparedness. I was ranting that ,sometimes the advice offered stresses quickness of action while the BS is woefully unprepared .... IN MY OPINION.
I can tell my approach to this is very much influenced by my medical background. Getting prepared for surgery is usually a good thing. But, if we are talking about a life-death emergency surgery, the time taken to prepare is often minimal. Get in there and do this now, or the patient dies.
Lol. well the cow & bull thing went over my head when I was younger too..
It wasn't till I saw how important sex was to me that I saw the humor...yeah me man..sex important..yeah Ug.
But it was the confidence that was my problem, not the sex..sex is a no brainer..has to be..for the propagation of our species.
You wouldn't want an egghead to figure out sex now would ya?
We could make it a law of course, but nah, that wont work, they got pills for that anyways..Or maybe some kind of birth control method..umm they aren't reliable..
Of course common sense will work, but then where is the romance?
See there is always a reason and an excuse..
But God tells us sex is for procreation and life is preciuos..even the best of us cant keep that straight and figure that .."IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, QUIT YUR GRINNIN AND DROP YUR LINEN!"
or something much more romantic and subtle...depends on the mood at the time..
and then we are telling God he has to take care of us cuz its HIS? fault..What a mess huh?
No wonder so many people come here so mixed up and confused..
Remember, I really care NOT about quickness, but preparedness.
Agree with this. Being prepared is part of strategy and can make all the difference between success and failure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
For anyone requiring more analogy to understand Pep's point; I have 3 weeks of vacation to burn in the next 2 months, and I will gladly come to your home and apply pain and pressure to your most sensitive bits while teaching you defensive driving strategies... there will be a test after.
Oh My Goodness I Already Feel Defensive
*applying pressure to the pinky toe*
HHH: Be sure to watch for cross-traffic while approaching uncontrolled intersections...
*cough* Student *cough* hears;
(Though, not nearly as relaxed as our friend Peppermint Patty)
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
don't feel alone...
