Cant see him.

In that case, I would call the house and get your letter sent out to the organization. Just get your exposures done today so you can move onto the next step.

You might have to set up a fake facebook page or ask a friend to check and see if they can see the OM's page.

just set up a fake page, and no dice. The FB pages are gone, which tells me he's pre-empted with BW.

Letter to org is in the mail.

I would get ahold of her NOW and keep trying until you get her!

Well, exposure has hit. WW is hysterical. She's planning to leave

Just great.

Stay dead pan and don't feed into her anger and shouting about it stay calm. Cooler heads prevail

She'll be angry, but it's all talk. Don't worry about it and as TD said, stay calm.

Thats great! What happened? Did you get through to the OM's wife?

Just be calm and don't let her rattle you!

Here's your only response:

I did what I had to do to try to save the marriage you damaged.

Over, and over.........

Wowser your story sounds so very familiar in so many ways...

Good job on the exposure. Stay the course, her anger will subside.

I wanted to comment on your wife's many platonic OS friendships and the ways in which she gets her needs met by others. Wow have I been there! NeverGuessed, amongst other fine MBers, gave me an OS friend arz whoopin that took care of that mental state. Perhaps in the future this kind of MB 're education' will be in the cards for your WW.

In the meantime, I highly, highly advise you to listen to the folks here who tell you to set your boundaries HIGH and especially when it comes to EP's that protect you from future affairs. Not the least of these is NO OS FRIENDSHIPS!!! This is non negotiable. This is to protect your wife, and your marriage, not just you.

Speaking of protection, as a one time like minded woman, I can say that my H's hesitation to demand I not have OS friendships, left me feeling neglected and uncared for. I mean, wouldn't a husband who loved and cherished his wife go, well, ballistic if another man was filling ANY of her needs? Had my H put his foot down and said he would NOT accept his wife having 'platonic' or any other kind of OS friendships because I am HIS wife, I would have thought that to be an amazing act of care and protection. It would make me see him as much more manly, respect him more, etc.

Allowing that behavior sends a message to your WW, it sends the message that you don't really care that much about her, or that you don't think any one else will want her. At least thats the message it sends to me. Is that how you feel? Is that the message you want to send?

It doesn't look 'great' from here. She's upset that I didn't tell her that I did it, and she's getting blindsided from those who now know.

This look bad for me esp b/c I, before I read up on MB, was upset that SHE told other ppl before I knew they knew. I look like a total hypocrite.

I need help, guys. What do I do now?

What do I do now?

Here's your only response:

I did what I had to do to try to save the marriage you damaged.

Over, and over.........

Not at all. You should not have told her about exposure before you did it. That would have caused great problems.[such as her pre-empting you] She knows now and that is the point.

Just don't get upset. She will calm down. You are doing great!

As everyone has said, just remain calm and a broken record. "I will do whatever it takes to fight for and save my marriage"

Who did you expose to on OM's side?

Yea be cool like a polar bears toenails. Use one of the lines above.

I...was upset that SHE told other ppl before I knew they knew.

The difference is in the PURPOSE, not the FACT, of the two actions.

Look nobody would welcome being stabbed in the throat, but if the purpose was to perform an emergency tracheotomy, it might be somewhat more acceptable.

SHE pulled her little exposure to "spin" her story out there, "..and oh, yas, Hubby was so mindless of my needs that I had to bone some other man! You understand, right"

YOU however, did it to terminate any future temptation toward infidelity on her part, as well as bring judgment down on POSOM.

WWs are crafty creatures, adept at distracting the focus from the main (only?) issue: How does the SBT2 couple ensure that her proven faulty fidelity measures never break down again?

You have to be so anchored in your own righteous actions that listening to her babble only elicits an urge to laugh - probably best stifled, but still.....

Thanks for the support, guys. Yes, she had been talking to all sorts of ppl about what a bad guy I was (and I was, I'm owning that). That upset me. Of course, as far as I can tell, with one exception everyone's advice was, "do what makes you happy."

I'm getting the silent treatment now. I told her we could talk about why the exposure but she's probably still a few days away from wanting to discuss it.

Who did you expose to on OM's side?

The BW. No answer yet.

If I can ask...how long do I wait for her to calm down and talk this through? I want to get her to agree to the program but she's still screaming about my hypocrisy, its over, etc.

We have a counseling appt coming up but I may be going there alone this time.

This is very, very difficult. I'm in awe of you who have survived it.