|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
I also told them about how I got HPV even though my husband is my only partner ever.
Consult a lawyer about suing WH for recklessly exposing you to carcinogenic viruses. I'm not kidding. With your sworn testimony about having had only Officer Donut for a partner, and your proof of his dalliance with Officer Cheesy Danish, it is not a hard job to get probable cause, which would be all that's needed for blood tests and viral matchups.
Sorry C, this guy and the "blue wall" is beginning to piss me off!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
How are you doing? Sleeping? Eating? I am eating alright and trying to do the treadmill 5-6 days per week. That really helps. I'm probably not eating quite like I should because so far I've lost 8 pounds in 2 months which I could lose another 10 anyway so I'm not too worried. I am also suffering from hot flashes so I'm not sleeping a lot because of those. But I haven't been sleeping as well as I'd like. When it's been a bad day like these exposure days or when he locks himself in the spare bedroom I don't sleep as well. But it is getting easier as time goes. I'm starting to get used to not having him around. He really hasn't been around emotionally anyway so what's the difference. Even though it makes me sad! I just have to come to terms that it won't be like it was, but really I don't want it that way I want it better than before if possible. Thanks for asking!
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
I may be wrongbut I do not remember the OWH being exposed and provided with evidence. This is a key park of exposure. I've tried to contact her spouse two separate times without success. I called him once the told him of the affair (missed the HPV part) and set up an appointment to deliver him evidence but he never showed up. Wifey probably got to him first and told him I was crazy. Then I tried to deliver the evidence to his work without success because he had already left. Now they are threatening restraining orders so I'm not sure how to proceed there.
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I've tried to contact her spouse two separate times without success. I called him once the told him of the affair (missed the HPV part) and set up an appointment to deliver him evidence but he never showed up. Wifey probably got to him first and told him I was crazy. Then I tried to deliver the evidence to his work without success because he had already left. Now they are threatening restraining orders so I'm not sure how to proceed there. I would get the evidence to him at work. Who threatened you with an RO? The STD skank?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
Courageous: great job so far.
May I ask: did you leave copies in multiple hands?
If not, it may be useful for you to follow up with a written letter, addressed to the boss and cc'd, in a way that the boss can see, to the boss' boss (and/or to the head of Internal Affairs, and/or whoever else may be appropriate in their particular command structure).
Without meaning to cast any unwarranted aspersion upon anyone in blue who serves bravely & well, I'll simply say that men who put their lives on the line together are inculcated -- mostly for better, though sometimes for worse -- to have an instinct to be skeptical of people outside the "fraternity" and to cover each other's backs. Or each other's bums. As I'm sure you already know better than I.
If the only guy who's got your info is your husband's boss, then there's a chance he could bury it once the initial fuss dies down.
You don't want that.
You want the pressure on the affair to be unrelenting. You want their workplace to be no place of respite or escape.
If the boss knows that he's got other eyes on how he's handling your complaint -- eyes of people who could cause his career trouble if it were to be perceived that he failed to take appropriate action & allowed to fester a situation that reflects unbecomingly upon the larger Department -- then there'll be a higher likelihood that the affairees will be split up and otherwise disciplined in ways that drive home the costs of their wayward (mis)conduct in such ways as to make continuance of the affair a most unpalatable option, even for this pair of addled addicts.
I can't give you legal advice, but my layman's thought here would be to back it up, in writing, to multiple persons with cc's to all.
If you've already taken care of this angle, good on ya.
Me: FWH, 50 My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold DD23, DS19 EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09 Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009 Married 25 years & counting. Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband. "I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol "Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
I would get the evidence to him at work. Who threatened you with an RO? The STD skank? I already tried to deliver the evidence to his work. Should I mail it to him there? Yes, it was the STD skank who is threatening an RO. She has twice now, and my WH was part of it once. Isn't that just lovely. After I found out about the affair initally I was pretty upset and was throwing things out the front door and hitting him with a pillow etc. He reminded me that he could always call the cops and I would be the one arrested for domestic violence, but because he's a cop he could lose his job if he is involved in domestic violence. He didn't even have injuries. From a pillow, really!!! Although there was a second time we got into it and he wouldn't let me in the bedroom to get my phone and I was pushing against the door pretty hard and the door hit him in the forehead and cut him. I got bruises the next day which I photographed, of course. I also have been keeping a diary of everything that is happening. How did we ever come to this, so sad
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[ I already tried to deliver the evidence to his work. Should I mail it to him there?
Yes, it was the STD skank who is threatening an RO. She has twice now, and my WH was part of it once. Isn't that just lovely. Do you have a friend who could deliver the evidence to him? If not, I would try to do it yourself. There is nothing skanky can do to you. Failing that, I would send it to his workplace via registered mail. The reason I say get it there tomorrow is so you can get this exposure done as soon as possible. I suspect the OW has conned her husband into thinking there is no affair. Does skanky have a facebook page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
May I ask: did you leave copies in multiple hands? I had four sets of documentation which was about 1 inch thick with phone records for a year, e-mails, naked picture, threatening text and my phone bill analysis. I also wrote the letter that I found on MB written by an attorney/member of MB about (paraphrased) using company resources and assets to carry on an affair. The 4 sets went to; HR director, WH boss, AP supervisor #1, AP supervisor #2. I requested that all four be there when I explained everything all in very much detail. I told the WHOLE story.
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
Do you have a friend who could deliver the evidence to him? If not, I would try to do it yourself. There is nothing skanky can do to you.
Failing that, I would send it to his workplace via registered mail. The reason I say get it there tomorrow is so you can get this exposure done as soon as possible. I suspect the OW has conned her husband into thinking there is no affair.
Does skanky have a facebook page? If I mailed it certified mail, can they come after me for harrassment? I don't know about a facebook page. My husband doesn't do Facebook. I'll get to researching that.
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
If I mailed it certified mail, can they come after me for harrassment?
I don't know about a facebook page. My husband doesn't do Facebook. I'll get to researching that. They can't do anything to you. All you are doing is delivering evidence of the affair. Does the OW have a fb page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Of course the OW can make threats. But that is all they are: empty threats.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
May I ask: did you leave copies in multiple hands? I had four sets of documentation which was about 1 inch thick with phone records for a year, e-mails, naked picture, threatening text and my phone bill analysis. I also wrote the letter that I found on MB written by an attorney/member of MB about (paraphrased) using company resources and assets to carry on an affair. The 4 sets went to; HR director, WH boss, AP supervisor #1, AP supervisor #2. I requested that all four be there when I explained everything all in very much detail. I told the WHOLE story. Excellent.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Keep in mind that the OW can't get a RO against you for going to her husband's workplace. And if she TRIES to do such a thing, she only exposes her affair because your evidence will be brought into court.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
May I ask: did you leave copies in multiple hands? I had four sets of documentation which was about 1 inch thick with phone records for a year, e-mails, naked picture, threatening text and my phone bill analysis. I also wrote the letter that I found on MB written by an attorney/member of MB about (paraphrased) using company resources and assets to carry on an affair. The 4 sets went to; HR director, WH boss, AP supervisor #1, AP supervisor #2. I requested that all four be there when I explained everything all in very much detail. I told the WHOLE story. Excellent. She has big balls!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
...I've tried to contact her spouse two separate times without success. I called him once the told him of the affair (missed the HPV part) and set up an appointment to deliver him evidence but he never showed up. Wifey probably got to him first and told him I was crazy. Then I tried to deliver the evidence to his work without success because he had already left. Now they are threatening restraining orders so I'm not sure how to proceed there. R.O.? That's a laughable crock o'nonsense. In fact, if POSOW has violated any workplace laws or rules, then I'm not so sure that her threatening you with an R.O. as a means of 'silencing' you isn't skirting dangerously (for her) close to violation of whistlenblower-protection laws or other sorts of obstruction-of-justice on her part.
Again, that's not a legal opinion, just armchair-quarterback speculation on my part. But maybe you could hire a lawyer and have him send a follow-up note mentioning the threat & raising the question of whether it might be construed as obstruction, depending on what he advises. That'd sure put the biatch in a cold sweat! (Newspapers eat that stuff up, too!) You're holding the trump cards now, sister.
Me: FWH, 50 My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold DD23, DS19 EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09 Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009 Married 25 years & counting. Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband. "I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol "Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
Does the OW have a fb page? Can't find FB page at this point.
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
May I ask: did you leave copies in multiple hands? I had four sets of documentation which was about 1 inch thick with phone records for a year, e-mails, naked picture, threatening text and my phone bill analysis. I also wrote the letter that I found on MB written by an attorney/member of MB about (paraphrased) using company resources and assets to carry on an affair. The 4 sets went to; HR director, WH boss, AP supervisor #1, AP supervisor #2. I requested that all four be there when I explained everything all in very much detail. I told the WHOLE story. Excellent. She has big balls!! Yes she does. A MB warrior.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Does the OW have a fb page? Can't find FB page at this point. Do you know any of her friends or relatives that you can find on facebook? Also, she may have you blocked, so make up a fake fb page and see if you can see her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156 |
Keep in mind that the OW can't get a RO against you for going to her husband's workplace. And if she TRIES to do such a thing, she only exposes her affair because your evidence will be brought into court. Yep, if she persists in this idle threat, then I would actually beg her to take such actions so that you would have a legal, and public venue to produce you're evidence. Seriously, BEG her to do it. She'll slither away so fast you wouldn't believe. I usually am a doormat and very passive so this is amazing that with yours' and God's help I'm able to do this. I literally LOL'd when I read this. Wish we had more doormats around like you! You have done extraordinarily well for a dadgum "doormat" and "passive person". Get that info to the OW's BH, and you also may want to consider sending this info one step higher in the command chain as well. This is brewing into a cover-up, and you should nip that immediately. I know this has been covered, but wanted to reemphasize for effect. Truly impressed with you. Hang in there.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 114 |
She has big balls!! Yes she does. A MB warrior. Thanks everyone!
Me: BS DH: WS
Married 20 years no children DD: Nov 2012
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
1 members (1 invisible),
479
guests, and
66
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|