|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Yes i have
if he leaves the house then we stay ut
if not then im going to leave with kids.the solicitor is helping me with money issues at the moment .im going to get a place for myself.
Im looking at properties at the moment. Please post your letter here with your conditions so we may help guide you.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983 |
Hi LR.the doors are sorted.ive spoken to the solicitor about assets .shes started the process on her side.so all on track!!
Just waitin for H to return ..... Have you written your plan b letter? Post it so you can have reviewed. When does he return?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
Hes back on sunday.
Plan b i thought was if he wont leave then ill have to.then get a place of my own.am i missing something here?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Hes back on sunday.
Plan b i thought was if he wont leave then ill have to.then get a place of my own.am i missing something here? He is physically abusive to you, correct? Then the separation is for your protection. You ask him to leave and get into an anger management program. Then you give him a modified Plan B letter with your conditions to stay in the marriage. One of the conditions should be anger management and you have contact with his teacher for status updates.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
Thanks
ive been checking the AM courses
they say that they will keep me updated with every session he attends.they do this for DV cases.so ill be handing him their number.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294 |
Sally,
The good folks here have asked that you create a letter to hand him. This is sound advice. You need to inform him specifically of the conditions of your Plan B. Do NOT try to verbalize it to him. Create the letter with the conditions and hand it to him. Any time he starts to flounder around the issues you point him back to your letter.
If you don't do this he's going to manipulate his way back in without meeting all of the necessary conditions. Please create this Plan B letter and give it to him. Even if he's back already.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
H back alright.meeting didnt go as planned.hes still here n so am i.family r too stuck in their ways.plan to go to mums is off now.
Had his family n mine at meeting.both sayin to try again.no ones allowed to mobe.really fed up now.noones looking at me n kids as humans.theyre too scared what people r going to say.
H acting like a mouse now.how long for?
He scanned the whole as soon ad he walked in to the house.H just sed hello n started to check what was out of place?!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294 |
I cant live like this anymore.this effects me everyday it wont go away.our relationship has been at its worst now for a year now.i feel mentally n physically drained.i feel happier n so r the kids when he goes away on business.theres no tension in the house then.
Im gonna have to call it a day.this is as much as i can take.im done being the martyr n keeping this home together.i used to say im only staying cos of the kids.by staying my kids have seen n heard ugly things they shouldnt have.i cant put them thru this anymore. I thought you were going to follow through? You said I can't live like this anymore ... and you were right. Please don't use your or his family as your excuse for not executing the plan. What is your plan? You've been asked that for weeks.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
The plan was that i was going to go to my mums as my parents were okay with it.now theyre sayin that this wont be right for anyone.
Ive spokrn to a lady at the womens centre .im going to have to move out with the kids as noones taking me seriously.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983 |
So what happened between 1/14 and when he returned? Did he start manipulating you again?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
Its not just him now.its family who think they know best.
Im going to my mums to pick up the kids from school n go to the shelter.
This is my only way out.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
Ive left my bags at my mums.im going to pick them up n acting as everythings okay.otherwise theyll call him n stop me going.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294 |
Im going to my mums to pick up the kids from school n go to the shelter. If that is your best option then I think that's a good idea. Anything but staying there with him. You're being direct and true to what you said you were going to do. I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't easy.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 48 |
Too right,its not easy.the shelter was my last option.from there im going to stick to the plan.theres no going back now.
I dont know when i will beable to post on here again.im not sure if theres internet access at the shelter.
I would like to say a big thanku to all of u.u guys have made me take action.i would have been stuck in this situation forever with no end to it.
MB has helped me sooo much .it feels overwhelming to know that there are people that understand what im going thru.thanku all.
Update to follow...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Too right,its not easy.the shelter was my last option.from there im going to stick to the plan.theres no going back now.
I dont know when i will beable to post on here again.im not sure if theres internet access at the shelter.
I would like to say a big thanku to all of u.u guys have made me take action.i would have been stuck in this situation forever with no end to it.
MB has helped me sooo much .it feels overwhelming to know that there are people that understand what im going thru.thanku all.
Update to follow... I hope you're ok sally. Please keep us updated.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
116
guests, and
26
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,619
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
