Did you finish exposing the affair? Did you get ahold of the OM's wife and family?

I would make sure your child knows your wife is flying out to meet up with this scumbag. Tell everyone what she is doing and make it known to her that if she doesn't end her affair, this will lead to divorce.

I would say thousands of us.

MelodyLane, I have tried the only number I have with no success. The rest of my exposure was done through FB to the OM friends. I did tell my D that while we were at her cheer comp, her mom would be in AZ with her bf.

Ya might want to point out what a swell mom she is too.

I made sure I told my W that when she announced her plans.

<--- One BH with a gold star FWW since 2010.

If you take a look around, you will see people who HAVE saved their marriages from the grips of adultery. I think the bigger question is "Who here has successfully used MB techniques to recover from an affair?" I will put my hand up for that one, and you may notice from my signature that my marriage has become a victim of my WH's affair. Doesn't make me a failure, or MB for that fact. Actually, as many BSs whose marriages also fell victim to their WSs affairs, I am much much much better off having used the MB techniques in my efforts to save my marriage.

I can look back at everything I have done in the 3+ years since I arrived here and say that the only things I regret are any of the times I didn't follow MB 100%. Do I wish sometimes that my marriage could have been saved? Certainly, only not at the cost of my personal recovery. Had my marriage limped along, non-MB wise, I most likely would have wound up separated, heading toward a divorce anyways. Only difference? I would have been completely miserable, and a very jaded, individual who most likely would have become a wayward myself. I would have felt justified in my actions, but I would have been wrong.

Scotty, thanks for the post. I also read your thread, great info and encouragement.

This morning while I was waiting to put my daughter on the bus. My W strikes up a conversation out of no where. I participated and it felt nice to have one. But at this point, I look at things like this as the calm before the storm.... Anyone else ver feel that way, am I justified in feeling that way?

Fireboss, seems to me that your WW isn't taking very seriously the consequences of her actions, or taking you very seriously..

Please take care of yourself and your daughter. I'd have the locks changed and her junk sitting outside for her upon her return from AZ. I wouldn't let her back in until she has agreed to extraordinary precautions. If you need to file for divorce to obtain a restraining order keeping her away from the two of you, do it. Your WW presence is toxic, and while you seem a strong man,, preserve that energy for when it will pay off to invest it.

You can continue to work on exposure and contacting the POSOM's wife without that toxic presence in your home.

FB, if your daughter's life depended on your WW not going to AZ, and she still planned to go, would you find a way to stop her?

It might not be her life, but DDs future well-being is certainly highly at risk with WW's callous disregard for her.

Net/net: You've told her you're fighting for your family, and she's basically said, "Screw you, and little DD, too! I matter more!" And she's likely to end up with primary custody?

Dude, in your shoes, I would find a way. If necessary, I'd "accidentally" drop a weight on her foot Friday morning. I would secretly put a firearm in her carry-on if I had to, but she would never take that flight.

But, that's just me......

Don't put a firearm in luggage.
I was in your situation a year ago.
My wife went to OM house (after she supposedly broke off the EA).
She had left to have "alone time" watching a movie. One of the marvel comic movies.
She didn't come home by midnight and I was pacing the floor.
I called her a couple times. No answers.
Then a text: I'm alive don't worry.

I text back: Where are you?

She replied: Are you sure you want to know?

I called and she answered. I asked Are you at OM house

She answered yes.

I sai don't bother coming home.
Next day I called an attorney and filed for emergency custody and restraining order.

And I encourage you to do the same.

If your wife leaves you must divorce her to save your own sanity and soul. It will destroy you to have a wife actively sleeping with another man and flaunting it in your face. Your wife is a selfish monster. Protect your child from her.

You need to call an attorney ASAP so everything is ready to go.
You can't control her actions but you can control yours and If you dont want some scumbag raising and possibly molesting your kid you need to fight for custody.

You need to call OM parents and ask for their help.
Hire a private detective to get the info If needed
You can do this tonight.

Have you called her parents and asked them to speak with her and stop her from having sex with this man? Grandparents? Aunts uncles?

I was in your situation a year ago.
My wife went to OM house (after she supposedly broke off the EA).
She had left to have "alone time" watching a movie.

And if you had drained her gas-tank, slashed her tires, removed
her battery, and stated that "alone time" was off the table?

That's what I'm suggesting, FB. Your marriage, your call!

NG has a good point.
The more they have sex, the more bonding there is.
If she is in love with him the sex will be AMAZING.

Personally, I take a different attitude.
I compare it to trying to control an alcoholic. You can't stop them from drinking or going to the bar. The question is how will you respond to her destructive behavior?

Will you get angry and do something stupid? Or will you protect yourself and your child?

I would contact an attorney and let her face the natural consequences of her adultery: Divorce

You can't stop them from drinking or going to the bar
...unless the only bar she drinks at is 1,500 miles away!

Your calm and proper approach provided you with a great position in managing your divorce. (And probably WW was going to drive that resolution, anyway, so no criticism here.)

My "angry" and "stupid" (Let's not be coy: irrational and semi-lucid) explosion shocked my FWW out of her fog.

There have been studies about victims of horrible disasters, of the type that results in isolation in dangerous environments - frozen wastes, deserts, lifeboats. One thing that comes through clearly is that the survivors were separated from the deceased by the survivors' ability to identify the one thing that is most likely to kill them AND NOT PERMITTING THAT TO HAPPEN. Stranded in the arctic? Just don't freeze! Starving to death is okay, JUST DON'T FREEZE!

I think the linkage to your case, FB is clear.

Have you called the OM family and parents?
You can all a PI and get this info within 24 hours.
You need to do this now

FB one thing you need to do is read others threads. One huge regret I have was not taking the car keys, license plates, and slashing tires when my wife left and I knew about it. Do that prevent her from going. If she taking a car take the plates, slash tires etc. Call the airline cancel the ticket something like that. I don't know how old your DD is but another option WHICH I AM STRONGLY FOR! Go to the airport have her wave goodbye to mommy and let her know her mom is going to see another man when she should be home with you and DD. Let your DD know that this is wrong and your strongly against it. Then let WW know is that POSOM more important than your family. If she still leaves file and drag it out!

Great advise from everyone! I have had in my mind since my visit to the attyns office, that if she went through on her plans. I would file the same day and have her served at work. She has been trying to hide it from them, so I'm going to bring the party to her!

Well, if the handgun and broken foot gambits don't entice you....

I would file the same day and have her served at work. - GOOD

Choreograph having her served at the airport as FB and DD are saying goodbye - EPIC! LEGEN...(wait for it!)...DARY!!!